You (not-so-hypothetical person on the other side of this phone) called *my* office, for information that, supposedly, you wanted from me. I did not need anything from you. You? Are interrupting Porn.
When I answer my phone? Is there anyone there? No. OH MY GOD YOU ARE PLAYING ME BAD ELEVATOR MUSIC? IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME RELAX OR THROW THINGS THROUGH THE (NON-EXISTENT) WINDOWS OF MY (NOT) OFFICE?
Why do I get up in the morning? I need new shoes in the worst way.
Right. *waves hand* Carry on, internets.