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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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dvd commentary
children of dune - leto 1
Okay, I have totally depressed myself by re-reading my own freaking fic. The Spiderman/Smallville crossover one. Okay, the thought that lingers is, who the hell let me write that? Everyone is *miserable*. I mean, when not fucking. And I thought this was a *good idea*?

I keep having to stop and apologize to Peter for, you know, killing *his wife*. And Clark and Lex for making them so utterly depressed. Everyone in there should be on *medication*.


So, low stress. If I were to do a DVD commentary on a fic, any in particular you'd be interested in reading? I've done--er, two? I'm not terribly good at it, mostly because the structure eludes me. But hey! I can try! None of the WiPs, since I never know where I am in those until I'm there. But you know, any of the others? Will try.

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heh. I just re-read that the other day, and recalled why I liked it; yeah, everyone's really depressed, but it's really interesting getting the perspective on Metropolis, Superman, and Clark+Lex from another superhero. Also, the Lex/Peter scenes were fucking hot like burning.

It's funny, how that contrasts, between the past and present. And it wasn't deliberate, really, not at first. But all that hope and happiness in the past, and Lex *thinking* he'd hit rock bottom post-Desiree and getting comfort from Peter. Compared to the present part, with Lex *really* at rock bottom and Peter's world already destroyed past saving.

I mean, I look at that, and it's only recently it hits me how I built this universe where the happiest ending would have been for Peter to stay in Metropolis and be Lex's lover. I mean, they'd both still be totally haunted and unhealed and longing for the people they can't have, but they wouldn't be alone.

That's just--God.

Plus, seriously, I didnt' know I'd killed Mary Jane until Lex said it. Just *breaks* me every time.

I'd forgotten the plot and characteristics from the story when I re-read it, but as it started to unfold things kept coming back to me; and I was wondering how these things happened, how MJ died and why there is no return for Lex and Clark's relationship. I don't know that they could ever be happy again, any of the characters; whether it's too late for Clark and Lex to be reconciled, or for Pete, who lost both people that he loved. But I always harbored the dream that because Pete took the pictures that made Lex and Clark both see with more clarity, he gave them a catalyst to get back together. I didn't see it as utterly dystopic; more like the dark, dark bottom before the shaky rise can start again.

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