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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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children of dune - leto 1
One of the things I never used to believe existed were men out there so desperate to sleep with you that they would bribe you with gifts in hopes that your panties would be loosened in gratitude. No, I'm not talking about me here; I have long come to terms with my lack of femme fatale vibes--or any vibes of any kind, actually, I think I register as a cabbage on the sex appeal o'meter or something--but my sister, who is dating while on separation from her husband, who is also dating.

I work hard to know very little about Sister and Brother in Law--however, this one time, overinformation was good. In the last three months, the hope of getting seriously laid has led several men to contribute expensive and insane amounts of chocolate not only to her but to her daughter and my son; some kind of ion flat iron that was imported from somewhere and apparently does magical things with straightening hair, along with matching hair care products; dinner at restaurants so pretentious I don't even want to pronounce them; and finally, the real reason I have a strong urge to set my sister on a street corner, a Cuisinart coffee maker.

Oh. My. God.

No one told me. I've been using GE and Mr. Freaking *Coffee* and *this* was out there? Twelve cups of nirvana seeped through a water filter and into a brown paper basket filter, so good that I actually lost the ability to form sentences. Mellow edged perfection cooked up in less than ten full minutes, with multiple functions, wrapped in black plastic and silver edging, saying, "Jenn, Jenn, drink me." Oh my GOD. This is--you know, I'd say better than sex, but it's been a while, so maybe sex has gotten better than the last time I tried it out.

Oh my GOD why do I drink anything *else*?

Suffice to say, I have the coffee maker and she's getting it back over my cold dead body. She can pick up another engineer if she needs another one.

I'm goinng to take a moment with my creme brulee coffee and smile that the universe sometimes sucks so much less than I usually think it does.

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Mom got me a DeLonghi coffeemaker a couple of years ago, that does regular coffee at various setting and cappuccino, too. Mmmmmmmmm.

Isn't this an amazing phenomenon? Now, I, personally, register as a dead snail on the Vamp-O-Sex-Meter of humanity as a whole, BUT I did get to observe this kind of thing first hand when I worked for Siemens Westinghouse.

We had a documentation specialist who, to me, looked like average 20-something college girl, which she was. But Judy had that "whateveritis" that your sister has, and man - did the rest of us love to sit back and watch her "work it". The fact we got goodies by default was just a plus, once some guy who wanted to get into her pants bought the entire site (all 100 people) lunch catered from some place I can't spell let alone pronounce. We never scored a really good coffee maker though, damn it.



Well, that settles it. Tomorrow I'll be heading over to Julius Meinl Cafe for my own little taste of nirvana in a cup.

::imagines how the Julius Meinl coffee would taste home-brewed in a Cuisinart maker::

::dies from overload of happy pornographic coffee thoughts::

No, no. Still better. Given the option, go with the coffeemaker.

I must be the only person I know who doesn't orgasm at the mere mention of decent coffee...in fact coffe, period...

This is--you know, I'd say better than sex, but it's been a while, so maybe sex has gotten better than the last time I tried it out.

*giggles* Given my last experiences, my advice is stick to the coffee...

Amen:) Also, your icon is adorable:)

Sex is overrated... :oP

Thanks about the icon. I still love it, even after a month - which is a record for my default icon... :o)

Ooh, yes. When my little 4-cup Mr Coffee gave out, I splurged on Cuisinart coffee maker. I don't regret it at all. It has a automatic on timer, and a keep warm timer, a carafe temp selector, and even a button to make the water cycle hotter or something when you only brew a few cups. ::calms self:: So much love. And the fact that I got in on sale and with a coupon to Bed, Bath, and beyond...Even. Better *g*.

Oooh, coffee porn! I just had a white chocolate mocha from Peets. All this talk of coffee makers reminds me of Rodney's delux coffeemaker from synechdotic's Freedom's Just another Word For Nothing Left to Lose:http://synecdochic.livejournal.com/61471.html
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I hesitate to tell you this, because you're on your Cuisinart high, but we have a Bunn coffeemaker that has a water reservoir inside it, and when you pour in a pot of water, you get a full pot of coffee in *five minutes.* It is sheer heaven.

Please share, please share!! What is the SPECIFIC model number, etc of this device of wonderment? My current thermal-carafe Mr. Coffee maker is the biggest piece of dog turd in the world of dog turds. (And believe me, with a 95lb. dog, I know from big dog turds...)

I don't even like coffee, but you're making me want to try some of yours. By the way, I friend'd you a while ago because I love your fics. So this is me introducing myself. Hi :)

How much do I love that you are pimping your sister for coffee?

Wow. This sounds like the world's best coffeemaker. I must get married so I can register for one. :)

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