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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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RL and lemmings

Okay, people should find this funny. Or I just do.

Around nooon yesterday, RIGHT AFTER the rain stopped, the phone goes out. What, I say? There hadn't been much lightning or thunder, just a general feeling of End Times, and by noon, at least where I live, it was pretty much just misty and grey. Not a biggie.

Of course, I grab the cellphone and then realize a very strange thing.

I hven't kept any of my telephone bills.

I'm a packrat by nature, so I have learned this trick, in which once I am done with something? I throw it away. Like, RIGHT THAT second. This leads, of course, to the fact that I had NOTHING with the phone company's number on it. I check the phone books. NOthing, because the phone books are issued by ANOTHER phone service provider.

Three hours later, I find a phone book from four years ago, before my company changed names, and found their number under an old name in their phone book. So I call and talk to them. Give me my phone, I say, but diplomatically. I'm not sure explaining my internet addiction would have helped.

Teh cellphone goes out.

Of COURSE it goes out.

So I take the phone into the laundry room (and anyone who is curious, ask Bethy about how many times I've disconnected on her when talking to her on it and the interesting acrobatics necessary to keep a signal in my area). I stand on the washer and get a signal. Leaning into the back cabinet (no, I'm really not joking, it's BIZARRE, it feels like every time I use it, I have to use a new room and position), I got a clear signal and called in.

The Very Nice Man checks my account. He says, oh, I don't see anything wrong.

I tell him I'm not imagining the lack of phone. But I say it diplomatically, because he holds my only link to the outside world in his hands.

Well, okay, he says doubtfully. By one twenty tomorrow, we'll have a repair crew out there. If we're not there on time, twenty-five dollar credit will be added to your phone bill.

I say, if I pay twenty five dollars now, will you fix my phone in the next hour?

Okay, I didn't say that, but I thought it.

A couple of hours ago, they call in and explain the mistake. So I have a phone. The Weatherman keeps making dire predictions regarding the weather today. I"m guessing eitehr electricity or phone will go out at some point between now and tomorrow. Oh, this will be fun.

I wnat a laptop and wireless internet NOW. Also? Life somewhere there is no weather problems. A biodome, maybe?

Okay, other things.

The apology meme that bonibaru gakked is killing me. I went to see what I have to apologize for.

I love her. *g*

Also? Lemming theory goes into effect.


Tom Paris, I'm sorry I made you drug and torture evil alien beings to get them out of your crewmates, and really sorry I made you watch your girlfriend have sex with Harry. And that thing with Sue was just wrong.

And I'm really, really sorry that I let you get tortured, raped, and mutilated because my teeth hurt and I was bored.

B'Elanna, I'm sorry I made you think you almost killed your ex-boyfriend and later led you into blatant adultery. You didn't seem too bothered by that last part though. I'm just saying.

And really, really sorry I implied you were sleeping with Neelix. Seriously. Though in my defense, that was Kat's idea, not mine.

Chakotay, I'm so sorry I gave you a wonderfully slutty Tom and then just taking him away like that.


Rogue, I'm sorry I turned you into a suicidal junkie who drugs your love interest for touchable sex. Really. I am.

Johnny, I'm sorry you didn't have more sex with Bobby, but in my defense, I was still weird about writing explicit slash. You did get soem good blowjobs, though.

Logan, I'm not sorry for anything. You got off REALLY lightly compared to what I did to Tom.


bonibaru kindly took care of Dust, but I'll add this.

Lex, I'm sorry I turned you into a krypto-speed junkie, but you are REALLY hot under the influence. And let's face it, you loved the branding thing. You really, really did.

Also, I'm almost sorry for handing you over to Lucas, but you DID orgasm, so I'm note sure how sorry YOU are.

Clark, I'm sorry that I broke you and Lex up in Vix Te Agnovi and never got around to getting you back together, but I was in a REALLY bad mood with you then. See my diary! Also for the entirety of the break-up that I haven't gotten to completely fix yet there. Also, for the pictures of Lex and Peter Parker having sex. But I had fun, so there.

Chloe, I have no words to adequately describe my regret for the entirety of The Autumn People. But in compensation, you had mindblowing sex, so wasn't that a pretty good trade?

Yep, that's it.

Was LJ down again yesterday after it came back on or am I just really confused by my friends page?

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...the washing machine?

I would pay good money for a picture of that. :) Where's Peter parker when you need him?

And if you're moving into the biodome, I want the room down the hall. *nervously peeks out window* Ooh, above freezing! yay!

It's REALLY bizarre. On the phoen with Beth one day, I ended up sitting on the railing of the porch to get a clear signal, then got startled and dropped the phone in the yard, disconnecting. When I called back, I think she laughed her ass off when I told her what happened.

It's not even CONSISTENT. One day, the phone works perfectly in the kitchen, then the next, you have to be in the living room, the next, the bathroom. Usually the front yard is a sure bet, except for the days it's NOT.

I'm telling you, the phone is schizophrenic or something.

My best friend's cell is like that. It works perfectly when calling everyone except me. And it's usually fine as long as she finds a spot and settles in--which leads to many repetitions of "did you turn your head again? STOP that!" *g*

Totally OT: Did you ever find the wireless phone that was lost in the great outdoors? Or has it washed away in the floods?

Oddly, we found it in a funny way. I don't know that I wrote about it, but it WAS strange.

The base has a range of about forty feet or less. We hit the button on it to alert us to where the phone was, since, theoretically, the phone was supposed to be in the house. Nothing. Kept looking. Still nothing.

Then, turning off the central heat and everything, we try using the Cell Phone From Hell. Calling the phone. Hoping to hear a ring. Someone went outside and carried the cell phone, which went in and out lalalla have I mentioned the reception out here sucks? Finally, the phone was found when it rang, half under something--I want to say plywood from some home repairs, but I'm not sure anymore. Something in the lumber/building things family. In the backyard. With little teeth marks in it from Stray Dog number whatever, who'd been visiting us.

I'm still amused by that. Seriously, it was probably less than an hour from being buried somewhere.

And I'm really, really sorry that I let you get tortured, raped, and mutilated because my teeth hurt and I was bored.

oh my god, this had me on the floor. poor tom. but he got off pretty easy in all the teeny-bopper 'you're my one and only true love' fics. at least he was paired with someone fun in yours.

Chakotay, I'm so sorry I gave you a wonderfully slutty Tom and then just taking him away like that.

i'm not. stupid chakotay.

And let's face it, you loved the branding thing. You really, really did.

is this still under debate? he must be in serious denial.

*grins* It's sad, but I can actually mark out the stories I wrote while either IN tooth pain or on drugs for tooth pain. Absolute Zero was post-root canal. Poor Tom.

And yeah, we ALL know Lex gets off on it. Silly boy.

That's all you have to apologize for?

Hmmmm. I dunno, jenn.

Also, you need to get online now. I wanna post my story, dammit.

*grins* Sorry, I had to lay down for awhile. *huggles*

And no, I don't. I have no regrets about the rest.

Well. Except maybe for poor Pete with Lana and Chloe. *g* Maybe.

I'm a packrat by nature, so I have learned this trick, in which once I am done with something? I throw it away. Like, RIGHT THAT second.

Asking as a fellow packrat here, HOW do you do it? I absolutely can not throw anything away because I might possibly have some use for it in the future. It physically pains me to throw anything away, even knowing that I have no use for it (i.e. the ice capades program I've had since junior high).

Since your in such a good mood, I thought I'd ask for your help. I want to add links on my LJ page. How do I do that? Or can you point me in the direction of someone who can tell me?

Speaking as a semi-controlled pack rat, it wasn't easy to learn to get rid of stuff. I had to run out of space in order to get to a mental place where giving things up is okay. I force myself to consider a whole lotta questions, and I donate a lot. It makes me feel better knowing my things will go to someone who really needs them. I hear Ebay is wonderful, too. Nothing like getting money for things you don't actually use.

It's not easy, though. I have to be very strict with myself when I go purging.

Those questions:

Have I used this (garment/spatula/chair/whatever) at all in the last year?

Does this garment still fit? If not - will I really wear it again if/when it fits later in life? I still have my prom dress and a special art-laden pair of jeans from high school, & they now fit me again, but I learned to weed out all the things I didn't completely adore. See next.

Am I still completely delighted in every way with this (garment/spatula/chair/whatever)? If there's even a niggle of ho-hum, toss or donate. For me this especially applies to clothing since I'm so addicted, so fading or scratchiness or lack of entirely perfect fit can all factor in there.

If it's craft related, will I actually sit down and do the work to fix/make/develop this? And when will that be? If it's been laying around for more than 10 years (and yes, that's happened to me) either finish it by a set date (birthday for a friend, maybe?) or give up on it & donate it to your local charity. This includes stuff like cloth and yarn for me.

Garments that need mending or alteration - see previous. If you really want to keep it but won't/can't do the work, there's probably a reasonable professional seamstress nearby.

Sentimental items that are gathering dust - do I rilly rilly need a physical prompt for this memory?

Gifts kept out of a sense of obligation that you never use/wear - toss/donate/ebay but don't let the giver see you do so.

If it's a money-related document, is it more than 6 years old? If you live in the US, for tax purposes you usually only need the last 4 years should you get audited, so 6 is *really* playing it safe. Good idea to bundle each year's stuff together, makes it easy to toss in years to come. Anything younger, toss out the envelope at least. Amazing how much space they add up to. Credit card statements, keep for only a year, or less if they're correct. You can always request a fully detailed report if need arises.

Re the links...

One of these *might* be what you're looking for:

Here's a bunch of other stuff:

What she said on both.

If I understood LJ styles better, I'd try and design you a style, but I'm still learning and Isilya did mine when I finally gave up. If you still need help, email me? I think I can write the code to just insert links, since I think that's relatively simple.

jenn at thegateway.net

2 cents

"Clark, I'm sorry that I broke you and Lex up in Vix Te Agnovi and never got around to getting you back together..."
I'm also very, very sorry about this. Wondering if there's anything rattling around that might fix this travesty of justice? *g*


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