Okay, people should find this funny. Or I just do.
Around nooon yesterday, RIGHT AFTER the rain stopped, the phone goes out. What, I say? There hadn't been much lightning or thunder, just a general feeling of End Times, and by noon, at least where I live, it was pretty much just misty and grey. Not a biggie.
Of course, I grab the cellphone and then realize a very strange thing.
I hven't kept any of my telephone bills.
I'm a packrat by nature, so I have learned this trick, in which once I am done with something? I throw it away. Like, RIGHT THAT second. This leads, of course, to the fact that I had NOTHING with the phone company's number on it. I check the phone books. NOthing, because the phone books are issued by ANOTHER phone service provider.
Three hours later, I find a phone book from four years ago, before my company changed names, and found their number under an old name in their phone book. So I call and talk to them. Give me my phone, I say, but diplomatically. I'm not sure explaining my internet addiction would have helped.
Teh cellphone goes out.
Of COURSE it goes out.
So I take the phone into the laundry room (and anyone who is curious, ask Bethy about how many times I've disconnected on her when talking to her on it and the interesting acrobatics necessary to keep a signal in my area). I stand on the washer and get a signal. Leaning into the back cabinet (no, I'm really not joking, it's BIZARRE, it feels like every time I use it, I have to use a new room and position), I got a clear signal and called in.
The Very Nice Man checks my account. He says, oh, I don't see anything wrong.
I tell him I'm not imagining the lack of phone. But I say it diplomatically, because he holds my only link to the outside world in his hands.
Well, okay, he says doubtfully. By one twenty tomorrow, we'll have a repair crew out there. If we're not there on time, twenty-five dollar credit will be added to your phone bill.
I say, if I pay twenty five dollars now, will you fix my phone in the next hour?
Okay, I didn't say that, but I thought it.
A couple of hours ago, they call in and explain the mistake. So I have a phone. The Weatherman keeps making dire predictions regarding the weather today. I"m guessing eitehr electricity or phone will go out at some point between now and tomorrow. Oh, this will be fun.
I wnat a laptop and wireless internet NOW. Also? Life somewhere there is no weather problems. A biodome, maybe?
Okay, other things.
The apology meme that bonibaru gakked is killing me. I went to see what I have to apologize for.
I love her. *g*
Also? Lemming theory goes into effect.
Tom Paris, I'm sorry I made you drug and torture evil alien beings to get them out of your crewmates, and really sorry I made you watch your girlfriend have sex with Harry. And that thing with Sue was just wrong.
And I'm really, really sorry that I let you get tortured, raped, and mutilated because my teeth hurt and I was bored.
B'Elanna, I'm sorry I made you think you almost killed your ex-boyfriend and later led you into blatant adultery. You didn't seem too bothered by that last part though. I'm just saying.
And really, really sorry I implied you were sleeping with Neelix. Seriously. Though in my defense, that was Kat's idea, not mine.
Chakotay, I'm so sorry I gave you a wonderfully slutty Tom and then just taking him away like that.
Rogue, I'm sorry I turned you into a suicidal junkie who drugs your love interest for touchable sex. Really. I am.
Johnny, I'm sorry you didn't have more sex with Bobby, but in my defense, I was still weird about writing explicit slash. You did get soem good blowjobs, though.
Logan, I'm not sorry for anything. You got off REALLY lightly compared to what I did to Tom.
bonibaru kindly took care of Dust, but I'll add this.
Lex, I'm sorry I turned you into a krypto-speed junkie, but you are REALLY hot under the influence. And let's face it, you loved the branding thing. You really, really did.
Also, I'm almost sorry for handing you over to Lucas, but you DID orgasm, so I'm note sure how sorry YOU are.
Clark, I'm sorry that I broke you and Lex up in Vix Te Agnovi and never got around to getting you back together, but I was in a REALLY bad mood with you then. See my diary! Also for the entirety of the break-up that I haven't gotten to completely fix yet there. Also, for the pictures of Lex and Peter Parker having sex. But I had fun, so there.
Chloe, I have no words to adequately describe my regret for the entirety of The Autumn People. But in compensation, you had mindblowing sex, so wasn't that a pretty good trade?
Yep, that's it.
Was LJ down again yesterday after it came back on or am I just really confused by my friends page?