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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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updates from the seperis warren
bored
seperis
This probably deserves a longer entry, but I'm relatively sure I have creeped out and/or deeply concerned many friends wiht my rabbit obsession For those who worried--Madelyn's calling my mom if I so much as *mention* the thought of maybe getting another rabbit. And sadly, she has all my phone numbers. It's not like I can hide from her very well. I mean, I *could*, but people will rat me out. They always do.

So quick note:

I introduced Mr Waffles (this will never stop making me twitch, will it?) to the rest of the Warren, where an attempt at bonding via group orgy went so badly I can't even describe the looks on every rabbit's face, but wow. You wouldn't think anything so cute and fluffy could look homidical, except I was sitting in the pen armed with a spray water bottle and let me tell you, all those little bastards got soaked. I took everything outside to ease transition, since I worried that Mr. W, being bigger, would kick their asses. Yeah, I really should have remembered Reggie's pretty much a mini despot with black belt in rabbit-fu or something, cause dear God. That was ugly.

To help bunny bonding, you intro them on neutral territory. I figured that I'd combine that with a free show for the neighbors and put the pen in the front lawn, got inside with the gloriously malleable Mr. W in my lap and got my bottle ready. When they met, Reggie immediately tried to establish dominance over the easy going Mr W, which went badly, as you can expect. The problem is, Waffles is pretty freaking laid back, compared to my warren. He pretty much could have had Reggie on the ground with some serious rabbit-fu and sheer weight, but he just couldn't be bothered, and it shows he's not used to other rabbits that he didn't know immediately that the only way to deal with Reggie is abject submision or kicking his ass.

Mr Waffles wandered off and held off all attmepts at bonding or giving up, which argues that Waffles really needs to rethink his strategy, cause if he thinks this is over, yeah, this can't end well. This unfortunately set off a warren coup, with Sloppy and Bryante both thinking they could escape their shackles of bondage and Reggie re-established his place in the pecking order by thoroughly cowing them into submission. One might think three differnt times would be unnecessary, but this is Reggie, who believes in overkill. The other two, thwarted in their attempt to disrupt the status quo, went after Mr Waffles, who looked between me and them blankly, with absolutely no clue what the fuck was going on, just that he had to keep swiping them away. It was funny when I wasn't holding a spray bottle in their faces like a gun and threatening to dampen their asses if they didn't cut it out.

And let me tell you, it did not help when my son and his best freind collapsed outside the pen laughing at me holding a bottle like an automatic weapon on four animals that weigh about six pounds total between them all.

There was a final bid for freedom by Bryante and Sloppy with an unfortuate Waffles caught in the middle of the power play, and then rabbits were all around me and running, with Reggie sitting on top of his green castle and making terrible proclamations against his subjects before totally putting them on their knees. It was inspiring. In that way that megalomaniacs sometimes are. I came out of it unscarred, but that's because I'm not stupid. Yes, Reggie, you are king, you are despot, you are whatever you want, just keep those claws off my bare skin, kay? We all get it.

It pretty much stayed that way, with Waffles up behind my back and looking at everyone with disdain and me with incredulous amazement, wondering why I put him in with the psychos. Waffles, my friend, get used to it. You join the crazies or they eat you.

First day of rabbit bonding. Yes, this went well. Will keep you updated on the dramatic continuation of Reggie's reign of terror, because he totally remembers Bryante and Sloppy's coup and is not amused. I forsee much restriction of getting to the good carrots or getting to jump from the top of the green castle.


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*puts $15 bucks into the pot*

I bet one morning you're going to walk past them and Reggie will be snuggling with Mr. Waffles and sneaking him food. There will be evidence of bunny!smut (little bunny condoms and lube half hidden under their towel!bed of comfy goodness) and Mr. Waffles will wink at you when Reggie isn't looking, and his hair will be a bit mussed (rakkish) and he will look extremely self satisfied. "This is why humans need water guns" his face will say.

OH MY GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

*covers ears with hands*

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*smirks*

I have seen that--God, once? Hmm. *makes note to rewatch*

*dies*

At least the neighbors got a good show.

*sighs* Yes, there is that.

Giggles and gets out the popcorn. This and the Crimes stories - the best Friday night crack EVER! Now if you just add a bit more of KidJohn, I'll be your minion forever. I'm obedient, house broken and promise not to claw you. Ever.

I am also learning more about bunnies than I ever even though to ask. I guess that a bunny will NOT be my next pet.

*beginns to giggle* They really are more complex than I thought. It's just freaky.

Oh man. I thought rabbit bonding was exciting when introducing two. I can't quite imagine trying to get the dynamics to work out between four. Terrifying is the descriptor that comes to mind.

Although, as far as I can tell, neither of my rabbits entirely get the whole rabbit dynamic. That is to say, neither has established himself to be entirely dominant or entirely submissive as it seems like they should have. And yet, they never really fight. Just a whole lot of gay-bunny behavior right from the start. The cuddling was cute when I wasn't torn between being grateful that reading so much slash had upped the amusement factor and wishing I wasn't a slasher as it was, you know, sort of tarnishing the bunnies in my brain.

Also, I just saw the pictures of Mr. Waffles. (You could change the name if it bothers you, you know. I seriously doubt he comes when he's called anyway.) SO cute and cuddly and he really doesn't look as though he wants to eat you *at all*! Bonus! I wonder if he'll be a good influence on the others or the other way round. Or perhaps he's secretly John!Bunny in the whole Prison!Atlantis!Warren, as suggested earlier. *G*

The cuddling was cute when I wasn't torn between being grateful that reading so much slash had upped the amusement factor and wishing I wasn't a slasher as it was, you know, sort of tarnishing the bunnies in my brain.

*from beneath a pillow* Yes. I know exactly whatyou mean.

I wonder if he'll be a good influence on the others or the other way round. Or perhaps he's secretly John!Bunny in the whole Prison!Atlantis!Warren, as suggested earlier. *G*

You know thanks to y'all, every time I write, I'm going to visualize rabbits before I can stop myself, right? Dear God....

...you know, reading this alongside Crimes lends Reggie a whole new air of menace. Just saying.

I am burning through my panicked hysteria that I am writing the lives of my bunnies in SGA fanfic. Cause I am totally not. This is a massive *coincidence*.

Really.

::snorfle::

poor, befuddled Mr. W.

I've got to wonder why you're introducing him to the rest of the warren, if they're as murderous as claimed. You'll see, he'll end up bonding with them and he'll turn against you! No more will be the lap-cuddles! No more the easygoing Mr. W! (I can just see Reggie brainwashing him via long diatribes, sortof a bunny Hitler...)

I worry about that. Reggie really doesn't need more followers. I just don't want him to be lonely. *chewing on nails*

Mr. Waffles is awesome. Also, I'm never going to stop giggling when I hear his name.

And also, amireal is going to hell.

*is entertained*

YES YES SHE IS! OH MAN ON AIM LAST NIGHT?

*twitches*

It was horrible. Horrible.

I'm seeing some really incredibly disturbing parallels between your rabbits and 'Crimes Against Humanity'.

Remind me, which came first?

Oh God you are all so evil it blows my mind.

...the rabbits came first.

I'm pretending *right now* that this does not disturb me immensely.

are you sure you shouldn't rename reggie? because that reign of terror thing sure strikes familiar.

I'll be under my bed, writing with crayons, okay?

God. I own a despot rabbit. Or he owns me. Something.

I'm beginning to see where the inspiration for Crimes Aganist Humanity is coming from, I think...

Now having actually read the other comments: *laughs and laughs* I am not alone!

Must. Read. More of Crimes...
Am greatly relieved to find I am not the only one who has been Atlantithromorphising the inhabitants of the Warren.

*snorts soda*

God. Y'all. Just. gah.

Your rabbit updates are always hilarious! And to think, this all started just because you got your son a reptile. That cracks me up!

It starts tiny, then *explodes*. one day, you are petless, the next, you have a warren. It's--surreal.

I've got a feeling. It could be bunnies.

I don't know a thing about rabbits, except that they do not actually give birth to chocolate eggs in real life (alas) and they are, uh, occasionally delicious? (ot the pet kind, I am sure.)

Bunnies! Bunnies! It must be bunnies!

*dies laughing* Anya so knew.