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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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rain of boredom and insomnia
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
How you know you're bored.

1.) You think, "Ronon gets pregnant. The father could be Elizabeth or Zelenka. Sheppard decides he and McKay should have babies. McKay starts drinking. Teyla wonders if any men in the galaxy are straight. Whacky hijinks ensue!" And you think, that is an idea whose time has come.

2.) You are sitting with your friend and say "Hey, let's start a flamewar." And she says, "That's not a bad idea." You get stuck looking for a topic that feels incendiary and start to make a passive-aggressive yet pointed post on the subject. Then you want ice cream and forget what you were trying to say.

3.) You think making coffee at eleven at night is a great idea.

4.) You make a short list of everyone who has annoyed you in the last week and then realize that you yourself are prominently displayed. You go back to your ice cream.

5.) At any time, you look at Bates and think, "Why haven't I slashed him with Cameron from SG1?" Then you think, "I don't watch SG1." Then you want more coffee.

6.) You actually open up a WIP and try to work on it. Even the one where Rodney's crazy. You realize, belatedly, that the theme of John killing massive amounts of people has, in fact, become a kink. You realize you are deeply disturbed, so you get more ice cream.

7.) You are suddenly tempted to become the kind of person who tries to make someone form a group chat just so someone you hate will show up and you can passive aggressively mock them until they explode at you, at which time you can be a victim. And you realize that you are beyond deeply disturbed and go back to contemplating John's body--er, body *count*. And then you remember there really isn't anyone you dislike that much. You also wonder when in your life you have ever been subtle enough to pull that off.

8.) Any time you think, "I wonder if John's been a fairy king yet." And you go looking. The fact that you cannot find it both relieves you and pisses you off, because by God, that is crack right there and someone should write it.

9.) You kind of want to post more pictures of your rabbits. And your rabbit related wounds.

10.) You think it's a good idea to AIM someone you know hates you with a passion and say "What's up?" You remember you aren't actually a masochist. But by God, it would be *interesting*.

You know, I have this suspicion that this is one entry I am going to regret making in the morning. One day, I will do my Top Ten Fandom Lies and possibly get myself lynched. *hugs list to chest* Or did I do that already? Must try to remember.


I want to see more picutres of the rabbits!

Well, I'm only just up, with bleary eyes, but this list is damn fun, especially # 1!!

11. You look at your friend's list of ten things that show she's bored and think "John as the fairy king! My god, why has no one done this? And if he's the fairy king he can get pregnant and Rodney is the father and Rodney freaks out and runs back to earth because really, pregnant John is one thing, but jesus, the FAIRY KING? He should've known with those ears, but he really thought it was just a genetic quirk - like having an uncle who looked like a bulldog or something normal like that.

12. And then John follows him and there is actually a scene where they make up and there is GLITTERY FAIRY DUST all over the place and seriously, WHY HAS NO ONE WRITTEN THIS YET?

13. Coffee sounds really good now.

14. It turns out that Rodney is violently allergic to the GLITTERY FAIRY DUST and goes into a sneezing fit so severe he throws out his back and he ends up in the hospital and even Sam Carter comes to visit him and brings him flowers and the latest issue of Astrophysicists Monthly and she and Rodney start mocking the guy who wrote the lead article, so John feels neglected and pouts, and they totally do not notice because MOCKING GOING ON HERE and then John gets mad because HEY pregnant guy here, he should so be the center of attention, and he's the Fairy King too, and what IS McKay's problem?

15. You find yourself wondering if you really would kill or maim yourself if you tried skateboarding because there's always that remote possibility that you would retain enough higher brain function that, should you actually meet Joe Flanigan, you could talk skateboarding, which is so patently absurd you just go drink more coffee and think about actually writing the John is The Fairy King story.

16. Rabbits plotting with Puppies to speak French and destroy the universe.

*starry eyes* You are the best person ever.

Number fifteen is *scarily accurate*. Oh my God. I--might. I have no grace and no balance and would be horribly maimed, but omg.

I am terribly surprised John hasn't been a fairy king yet. There are no words to describe how wrong and yet how deliciously right that would be.

Ditto. I mean--John. Fairy King. Why doesn't it exist? Though now I'm thinking of all the bad pointy ear jokes. Then I think, 'Is that a bad thing? Or a good one?'

John was the most perfect Fairy King ever. The people of Alant loved him. They thought he was beautiful. His ears were just right. Not too pointy, not too rounded. His hair was perfect. Even when it rained it sat upon his head proud and resilient.

He could wear every color of the rainbow and look hot, even pink. He preferred black though, which puzzled his people. They also didn't understand his need to blow things up but he was the best Fairy King ever so they shrugged it off.

The day John met a loud mouthed human named Rodney he fell in love. Every insult and complaint turned him on. He professed his love to Rodney and after a courtship of two weeks they were engaged. John found a bean that was better than coffee. Rodney gave John C-4.

They lived happily every after.

The End.

John found a bean that was better than coffee. Rodney gave John C-4.

*sniggers* Ah. True love.

You realize, belatedly, that the theme of John killing massive amounts of people has, in fact, become a kink.

But we love you for it. And it's a far more interesting kink than boring things like rough, dirty sex in public. Mind you, I'll be a happy woman the day someone writes a story where John kills many, many people and then pushes Rodney up against a hallway wall to screw him senseless.

*writes this down and smile* Yes. That would be--yeah.

*hums softly* Pretty.

god, you actually make me want to write that crack. *groans*

there is a story where john's a fairy and rodney's a dragon, though. *ponders*

although i really don't know how the hell that should work.

I'm--scared now.

...but I still want ot see it, you know?

8.) Any time you think, "I wonder if John's been a fairy king yet." And you go looking. The fact that you cannot find it both relieves you and pisses you off, because by God, that is crack right there and someone should write it.

Someone should! Oh dear god. What colour are his wings? And how does rodney fit into the whole thing?

Ooh, glittery colored. And John the Fairy King has to take a mate or he'll lose his crown, but he's in Atlantis and it's not like he has a lot to pick and choose, and he thinks Rodney is *straight*....

And it'll be a total angsty h/c where John gets hurt and Rodney finally sees his wings and his layer of clothes *make sense now*. And they have a commitment ceremony (because John does not believe in premarital sex) and then there is fairy sex. Which is a lot like regular sex but has fairy dust and sceptres involved.

"Stop! Stop! Oh God, stop!" Rodney bursts in the training room, waving around a clipboard, and making frantic cut-that-out motions with his arm. Dr. Beckett is standing behind him, a little flushed, scrunched up in his lab coat.

Ronon finishes throwing the marine over his shoulder; he lands with a nice, resounding thud. That'll teach him to try a sleeper hold. Ronon shakes his head a little bit, still wondering just what had possessed Carter.

"What's up, McKay?" he asks, toweling off his neck, and motioning for the next marine in line to step up.

"I'd—uh, prefer to talk to you outside, please, Ronon?" Dr. Beckett asks smoothly.

"Sure, give me two minutes," Ronon agrees easily. He's hoping Beckett has some answers or hell, some drugs after finally going in for tests this morning.

"See, the thing is, I really would rather tell you now," Beckett says uneasily, gesturing at the door.

McKay's tapping the top of his clipboard, eyes wide and bright, mouth quirked oddly at a corner.

"Two minutes," Ronon reiterates, wanting to just be able to leave after talking with the doctor, and not have to come in for one more match.

"You're having a baby!" Rodney chirps.

The low hum of conversation ceases, everyone, *everyone* looking between Ronon and Rodney with a fierce intensity that reminds him of that picture of the cat and the goldfish bowl Elizabeth had shown him once.

"Rodney!" Becket hisses, obviously incensed.

"What? What? I just—I—God, the *Pegasus Galaxy*," Rodney hiccups.

wow,you must be really,really bored! lol #1 looks like it would be such a cool fic! I would soo read this! please? you know you wanna write it. lol

So my fiance comes home the other day from a yard sale with a rabbit, which would've been a little odd except I've already known him a decade so it was just par for the course.

In fairly short order I'm decidedly amused with myself as I google rabbit diets. Fiance now mutters that the rabbit eats better than he does, to which I point out the rabbit enjoys my cooking thankyouverymuch.

Perhaps not so surprisingly, as I'm watching Mocha hop around the living room that first night, I was dryly amused after reading certain posts recently. Have I mentioned he's the cleanest pet of the bunch? *sigh*

Quite friendly actually. Rather sociable, which completely freaks the cats out.

Okay, now i'm getting bitter. My rabbits? not in the social place. bah. Argh. Grrr. *sad*

Also, congrats on Mocha!

i don't comment often, but i just wanted you to know that you highly amuse me ...

Heh, reading this I'm starting to wonder when you'll combine your interest in (crack) SGA fic and rabbits and post a Watership Down/SGA fusion kind of thing with exploring rabbits, who are also appropriately (and realistically) vicious and rack up a huge body count....

*shocky*

Wow. That would be....wow.

*wide eyed*

Ok, while I'm laughing over your post I have to add it's comforting to know others are up with insomnia, contemplating even stranger and yet truly amusing concepts. Sorta makes me feel, if not normal, well...then a tad bit more sane.

Thanks for sharing. And remember we insomniacs - we laugh with you because we identify and understand. We don't laugh at you - we're not that crazy or stupid!

See, this is way I love your posts. General insanity, yay!