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people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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children of dune - leto 1

Now something a little more direct:

6.) If your character is doing something wildly out of canon characterizations, you'd better sure as hell give a good reason. And no, fanon is not a substitute.

Okay, I lied. I hate to say this, but I'm fannish enough to admit, fanon can be a substitute, assuming your audience has read and accepted the fanon story that created it in enough numbers to pull it off. That is not an automatic drop in the jenn-box of darkness here. We really need a word for widely accepted fanon, btw. But there's got to be a point a. And it has to go to point b. And no, you cannot skip c or d or e to get to the really cool f. Yes, there are exceptions to this. But if Rodney is suddenly to become the best military strategist since Julius Caesar, it better either be AU or you send his ass to school for another few years. Genius does not automatically equal perfect at everything he tries the first time. It just means that, if he's just that universally gifted, he has the capacity to learn it. And frankly, I want proof he even would care to learn.

7.) John is not a prostitute. John is the biggest flirt in the Pegasus Galaxy, and probably the biggest tease as well--which always brings me to images of him not putting out on dates and girls (and/or boys) getting bitter, but let's not go there. He glow sexed Chaya, he probably nailed the mindreader (come on. MINDREADER? I'd sleep with her! MIND. READER. That, my friends, would be some seriously fun sex. And six months with the creepy people meditating, which actually argues he was crazy by then) and the blonde chick--he said he didn't, I stick with that, since he doesn't seem the type to lie through his teeth. But. One girl in two years.

8.) Canonically, Rodney is an asshole. You really, really don't need to soften that. No, really. He does not cry into his pillow for all the pain he has caused otehrs. I'm pretty sure he remembers only about one percent of what he says to people on any given day. WE LIKE THAT ABOUT HIM. That is what makes him interesting. It is grating and annoying and so very very human and makes his dialogue so much fun. Conversely--he is not a completely sociopathic asshole. Please dial back the psychosis, because also, he has moments where he can be nice and he doesn't spend every second of his life looking for new and intersting ways to make people miserable. Yes, I am asking a great deal, you know, *balancing a character*. But hey, I have faith. Or I have hope.

9.) John is not dumber than a pail. I cant' believe I even have to have this one on teh list. But there you have it. He's really, really not. He didn't get to Major by sleeping his way through the chain of command (though man, what I wouldn't give to be his commanding officer if that were true), and you ever notice that his ideas on how to do things actually, you know, *work* sometimes? See GUP. Thank you. That is all.

10.) Oh. Hmm. If I read *one more* fic that has a major plot point of completely humiliating one character for perceived wrongs (Elizabeth for being a woman, John for hurting Rodney's feeling or possibly, uncanonically having been a jock and/or mean to the scientifically adept and/or geeks, Rodney for his dark evilness in calling John a whore, WHICH HE HAS NEVER ACTUALLY DONE, Teyla for--being a woman, I have no clue on that one, etc etc etc)--well, I mean, I can't do anything, but I will possibly need to start retaliatory fic, or perhaps, take up a thriving drug habit. Seriously. What is the thing for humiliation? Why?

Hmm. Lets see the next topic.

To suggest a topic, go here

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Pet peeve: Research. Nothing major. Just like-- understand your universe.

Otherwise, yes. Love your list.

*hugs it*

I'm loving your list THIS much, it covers all the annoying things about fandom:)

On number 7, OH GOD YES. When I see the word "kirking" in a story summary, I want to throw the computer out the window. Where is this show where John has sex constantly? Why is it not on my TV? Why is it being withheld from me?

And OH GOD YES on all the other points, too.

Where is this show where John has sex constantly? Why is it not on my TV? Why is it being withheld from me?

Well, I didn't want to tell you this, but, see, we put a scrambler on your cable box, and...


The idea that John is stupid...

Let's say he went to the USAF Academy. Top half of the top 10% of high school grads, people, before the Air Force Academy will even LOOK at your records, let alone accept you. Only grants bachelors of science degrees in a broad range of subjects, most of them (not all, though, they do have some humanities tracks) in hard science and/or math and engineering. If Sheppard went there, he's smart. Period. And probably has the engineering degree to back it up.

If he went USAF ROTC through another college - same deal, really. He would've had to carry a high grade point average, take the tough courses and ALSO attend special officers training classes on the side.

Went in post grad? The USAF Officers Training School for those guys is just as tough, and more compressed timewise.

Frankly, I had three friends who had great grades and were smart and personable who, when they went to the Air Force recruiters office didn't score highly enough on the basic enlisted persons testing to get in. So, even if John enlisted and then went to Officers Training, he still has to be...smart. They don't take just anybody, they don't have to.

To get promoted to Major, he would have to possess a post-graduate degree. So he's got a Master's in something (I'm fond of him having math degrees, myself, because I think it fits in with his easiest option approach to life - engineering and other hard sciences would have required lab work. Math is much more pen and paper).

Oh god. Yes. The point about fanon, especially (although it's enough to turn on the waterworks if you're one of the three people who disagree with widely accepted fanon - such pain! I cannot tell you!). A lot of authors (even good authors) lose me because they skip from A to F without any of the necessary intermediate steps. Or, they decide to start out at G and move to M. The farther away something is from canon, the more I need to be led gently along the path, with coaxing and candy.

[John] didn't get to Major by sleeping his way through the chain of command

Or even to Lt. Colonel, I think.

My humiliation squick is so big that I cannot even go to the places you mention in number ten. Just no.

My humiliation squick is so big that I cannot even go to the places you mention in number ten. Just no.

I call that the "I'll get soap poisoning and THEN you'll be SORRY!" school of fanfic writing *G*.

I also have trouble with post-Trinity fics where The Entire Atlantis Contingent completely shun Rodney and treat him like a pariah, etc. I'm sorry, they're big boys, playing with dangerous equipment in a very dangerous place, going for big stakes. Chances are, something will go wrong at some point, and somebody will die. It happens. I can see Elizabeth taking issue with his attitude (though it should've been done in private, not where everybody in the gateroom could see and hear them) and I can certainly see John being pissed off. But the whole "We hate you go sit in the depths of Atlantis and rot," plotline of some fics isn't believable either.

but, see, now I'm wondering: what form would your 'retaliatory fic' take? would it be happy-cheerful-esteem-building-the-world-is-a-wonderful-place-fic? or humor, possibly involving the ovary-melting exploits of small-John? or porn? (any of these would be nice, and I have the fullest confidence in your ability to pull it off, but I'm casting my vote for hot sex as the number one weapon against humiliations. Just saying. Also, it's probably better for you than a drug habit, no matter how thriving.)

I usually torture a character in some way. *winces* Don'nt worry, those never make the public sphere, except that one time that doesn't count, but--*twitches*.

Oh, number 8. Yes. I have trouble with that one. I always risk forgetting it when I try to write him - partly because I'm really bad at insults, can't really think of good Rodneyesque ones, but also because my default image of Rodney is as someone who tends to ignore people more than insult them. i.e. he will only insult you if you draw yourself to his attention, and not gratuitously. I don't know if that's a "softening" of the character as he is in canon. It might be, I guess.

Anyway, good list. I'll tape it to a wall somewhere. :)

Stories that portray Rodney as constantly calling his staff idiots bug me, because what we saw in Hot Zone and Trinity and even a couple of others was a kind of rough patience mixed in with grudging praise. He's not a cheerleader, but he's also not always saying that every scientist is a moron. I tend to find that kind of characterization lazy, and lacking in the depth that make these people seem real to me.

I absolutely ADORE you and your pet peeves.

P.S. Can there be a Jenn's Pet Peeve fanfic challenge? I totally call number 9, if only to write a really, really funny story about him sleeping with all his commanders, and getting that black mark on his record because he refused to snuggle.

getting that black mark on his record because he refused to snuggle.

Oh god, that is a hilarious idea. And Rodney could overcome John's aversion to snuggling with his true love!

Yes, I am asking a great deal, you know, *balancing a character*. But hey, I have faith. Or I have hope.

I want to have a little bit of your faith...I *really* want that...*sigh*

What I have total faith in is your ability to write great stories, either canon or AU. If you were to write any of the above, well then, it would be a fabulous read. And personally - I want to read the one where John sleeps his way up the chain of command.

Because I'm completely juvenile in that way.

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