Okay, apparently, I have vacation ADHD, in which I have realized that oh dear God, there are reasons I am all over fangirly and conventiony type things and far less with doing this myself--there are far, far, far too many choices.
Child, like me, goes *Shiny!* every time we see something new, so we managed to actually expand our options from "something involving dinosaurs" to "something involving climbing Mayan temple (Aztec, Egyptian, prehistoric people) ruins", something involving "beaches", something involving "sea animals", something involving "zoo", something involving "bridges" and something involving "snow". For the hell of it, we narrowed our worldwide search to "places where Mommy will not be arrested for not wearing a burka", "places we will not be killed for being American", "places we are pretty sure sanitation is a premium", and "places we can be relatively sure we will not be taken hostage for the revolution/money/Americanness/universal peace/saving the rainforest. Just to see what would happen, we also removed "places likely to be shot while asking directions". And everyone who has ever attended Slumberparty knows--I will have to ask directions. If we're lucky, I won't be doing it in really really distubingly bad Spanish.
That still leaves a surprising number of places. It also cuts out places I'm pretty sure would require me to engage in activities only legal in Nevada to go to. But still.
I really, really like Cancun and Cozumel. On the scale of bankruptcy, it might keep me at relative solvency, it's relatively close to home, so wiring money when I'm arrested for something would be nice, and I figure if all else fails, Child's resourceful and could eventually find his way to the border, probablly adopting dangerous reptiles along the way and righting wrongs in the various cities and/or villages he encounters. A tiny Starman or Pretender, if you will, just not supergenius and vaguely grumpy during the hottest part of the day. It could become a made for tv survival movie. I'd like to think my tragic death on the beaches of Cozumel, Cancun, or Puerta Vallarta (and you can probably guess why this one made my list) will lead to good fortune for Child.
Of course, first choice will be survival.
I'm trying to blackmail and/or convince my best friend to come along--she's levelheaded, smart, and works for lawyers. That is always a good combination. So far, this isn't working. *bitter* I'd hate to have to sneak a camera into her boyfriend's apartment, but I'm not seeing a lot of other options.
Also, my apparent epically bitter and unhappy mood finally gets a montly contextual reason. For the life of me, I could not figue out *why* I was on the verge of hysterical tears for three days and hating everyone so much that I was restraining myself from posting for fear I'd start with paranoid accusations of everyone hating me combined with a plea for chocolate. Ah, but now, totally am there. I'd like to say that this mood has't passed and wont' for another, oh, five or so days, but on the other hand, I may stop shutting down my chat programs without saying goodbye, convinced the universe is plotting against me.
Also, there was this thing with a rock.
Okay this is very--you know, I don't know what this is, but I want you to see where my head was as of Thursday.
I am about to cross the street between my building and Walgreens with it's convenient Easter chocolate aisle, and I see a small, roundish piece of broken asphalt in the middle of the right lane. My first thought is, someone is going to run over that, and it will hit me in the leg. I will collapse and have to use my new and confusing cellphone to call to get someone to come get me and take me to the hospital, where they will pronounce amputation followed by blood poisoning, and I will die slowly and dramatically with a morphine drip, wishing I'd actually tried that skydiving thing, despite the fact I have similar reactions to heights that I do to anacondas and other snake-like reptiles. Which is to say, not pretty.
It occurred to me, as I was crossing, that I could kick the rock to the sidewalk and did so, using herculean effort to restrain myself from the scenario of me running to escape traffic when a car accidentaly doesn't stop for the red light, falling, and dying slowly of a head wound surrounded by mourning family and my son clutching my life insurance policy and wondering if he can get a ball python now. That also reminded me to get my living will in order, which I made a note to do once the craziness wore off.
Short Pet Update
Added Broccoli tops and three-lettuce combination to meal plan. Cilantro starts today, giving them a rest from the All Parsley, All the Time.
Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothing Left to Lose by synecdochic, and Christ, everyone's recced this, but why should I be any different? I'd like to blame the story for the fact that yes, hysterial near-tears and the fact I really, really need some Janis Joplin right now. Seriously, if you haven't read it by now, you must have skipped LJ all weekend, I counted more than twenty recs in under twenty minutes. It totally earns them, too.