Seperis (seperis) wrote,
Seperis
seperis

state of the pets

So. Bought no mammals, birds, hideous reptiles, or otherwise assorted animals this weekend. This will be the first weekend in a month that this has happened. I would like everyone to think what that means for a bit. Then think, she is the crazy rabbit lady!

Yes. Yes I am.

Did however, get more evilwrongyetsomepeoplesaygoodandright rabbit pellets, which I angsted over for a while, a litter training set that comes with litter that I cant' actually use in the rabbit's box since it's kind of dangerous to eat and the rabbits are huge fans of eating while--businessing. Kind of like the mouth equivalent of reading the newspaper while--well, businessing. I also got a pet playpen, and okay, yeah, go ahead, you can make jokes about this one. Cause I totally did. But man, it's nice. It's huge, and I spread out a tarp in the den, toss their toys, hay, and dinner in there, and let them run and play. I'm thinking of leaving them there overnight, since I really hate they have to spend so much time in their cage. This leads to weight gain and lethargy and foot disease and terrible, terrible moods, and it's not like terrible trio are sunshine and light *now*.

Interesting point in that, actually.

One, the rabbits are still ignoring me. *HOWEVER*, in a great stride of Jenn-Acknowledgement, Reggie crawled on top of the purple plastic small mammal castle I got them (*sighs* yeah. A rabbit castle), beside the rabbit alphabet blocks (*helpless shrug*), near the plush rabbit triangle (*no comment)) and close to the four different food-shaped playtoys and leapt off. He doesn't look directly *at* me, but he darts his eyes in my general direction. Kind of like, if I actually acknowledged you existed and that you had worth, I'd be doing this jump for you. I am doing it for me, but if you existed? Would totally be for you.

That, my friends? Is progress. It's also nice to see that the open wounds on my chest, finger, and forearm are now showing vague signs of healing before someone takes me aside to ask if I need an intervention. You can see this happening, right? I can. I mean, I can actually see being called into a conference room where my coworkers will all gently tell me that they know, and seriously, saying rabbits won't get you anything but a pitying look and possibly a talk with a counselor. Of course it was far worse last week, when there were five diagonal scratches across the area well above the bra line and a bruised, glazed look in my eyes as I wandered around blindly wondering how in the name of God something so small could hurt so much.

You can see why I'm kind of wired these days, right?

So. State of the rabbits--about two cups of pellets and unlimited timothy hay and alfalfa, hay and alfalfa at rough 70/30 proportions, salad of romaine lettuce (one handful), parsley (one handful), a half a carrot in thirds (a third for each) or half a celery stick in thirds (ditto), one half banana split in thirds for a treat. The one time I can be guranteed bunnytime is when the Ultimate Weapon of Choice Banana comes out, and man, they *fight* over who gets to crawl in my lap and try to eat through my flesh to get to that banana in my fingers. This, people, is what we *really* call progress. In a week or two, cilantro will be added to the menu, and probably broccoli tops. Apparently, I need to keep up a variety for health purposes. We are at eighteen days until first vet visit, at which time surely he will tell me I am kiling my furry friends, rabbit-hating whore.

Yeah. I'm in that place right now. Basically, I think, if I haven't killed them yet from my willy-nilly feeding of random assorted vegetables, then honestly, they either have stomachs of steel or I am ungodly lucky, and hey, who says that luck will ever run out?

In other, pet related news, Child's Bearded Lizard is up to five live large crickets a day, and has grown accordingly, at what appears to be a quarter inch in the last week (yeah, we measure him. *sigh). I need to emphasize this--five. Large. Crickets. We started him off at small, which he ate, oh, all thirty in two days, and medium like, seven a day. While at PetSmart, where the crickets are nowhere near the reptiles and zen was achieved easily, I picked up large, thinking, what the hell.

What the hell indeed. I don't know how many of you have ever watched a reptile eat, but let me tell you, there is nothing inspiring about a Junior eating a cricket in *gulps*, with a leg and half a cricket head sticking out *wiggling* as he mashes them to death with his flapping mouth and nonexistent teeth. I have never been so close to veganism in my entire life. Well, that and the rabbit rescue websites, where I was reminded that I a.) have no space and b.) have no time to become a rabbit foster mother to traumatized, disabled rabbits and c.) oh my God, jenn, are you serious? Give me your credit card right now. Also mentioned was a silent d.) Jenn. Please go back to buying hardware and going on random trips. Please. We miss that. Didn't you want an ipod? Why don't you still want an ipod?

Other items of note-- priced wirecutters so I could turn their two cages into one giant two story rabbit mansion. I was distracted by being called over to look at vacuums, then led gently toward the front of the store and away from temptation. But seriously. Two story rabbit mansion. It would be omg so cool. I even have a plan! And it involves wirecutters. Other stuff will eventually occur to me, I'm sure. But I still need wirecutters to do it.

I was thinking I was going ot write about fannish somethings today. Apparently, that's not going to happen. However, I am staring blankly at Teacher's Pet and thinking, oh God. Why can't this just jump ahead straight to the sex? Because lets all face it, this is pretty much where we end up. And yes, it will be traumatizing and vaguely dirty and possibly require me to start myself on a valium drip just to get through the day. But you know?

God, John is pretty.

Oh, wow, lunch is over. Who knew?
Tags: jenn's life, pets
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