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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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and i am a needy owner of a rabbit
poor me
seperis
Apparently, it is not all fun and fur when owning a rabbit. After bribing him with a new bed, a carrot shaped chew toy, and a wooden structure that looks suspiciously like something Child played with as an infant, Reginald the Rabbit deigned to look at me directly before wandering off.

Rabbits are moody.

This is what I have learned:

1.) Do not pick up Reginald. Those claws are not decorative, and they find bare skin like a laser guided missile. He will also leap suicidally from your arms onto any avaiable surface. Yes. I understand now.

2.) Do not willy-nilly pet Reginald. He will sometimes, if you are good and the moon is blue, sit still in your general vicinity long enough to allow you to gently pet his head for a very brief time. He reserves the right, however, to unexpectedly get up and wander off. At a disturbingly fast run. The story of the tortise and the hare now makes some epic sense. Some people might call it *teleportation*.

3.) Do not try to bribe Reginald with bananas--aka Rabbit Heroin. He will eat them out of your hand, but will leave you the second they are gone. You are not buying his love. You are not going to be his dealer that will trade pets for forbidden foods.

4.) You can sit in one stationary place and he will crawl over to you and sniff/rub/mark you with scent, and sometimes, even let you look at him, as a gift for being so still. You would think this would be a good thing, except rabbits also leave scent with droppings. Thank you, Reginald, for that bit of trauma on my back and my lap. No, really. It means so much.

5.) Reginald can teleport. No, really. No, seriously.

6.) See number four, scent markers, and how very much he wants to mark all of the den and dining room.

7.) My rabbit does not love me. I am reduced to reading up on rabbit psychology and rabbit behavior. On *multiple websites*. I am reduced to reading the psychology of a freaking rabbit. Reginald apparently is showing a lot of behavior associatd with, say, deep and powerful loathing, mixed with pity. I am pitied by my rabbit.

8.) The lizard likes me. The scary reptile that I have to feed live crickets likes me. Dearest God. Is this a huge cosmic joke?

For information, because nothing is more fascinating than listening to other people talk about their pets: Reginald is a Netherlands dwarf, about eight weeks old, dusty black, highly intelligent, emotionally manipulative, and capable of making me chase him around the room for attention for two hours while Child and Junior the Freaking Bearded Dragon watch in amusement.

I have been whipped by a rabbit. Somehow, this seems almost inevitable.


Is Reginald perhaps a distant cousin of Rodney? Do his eyes seem to disdain you and your mere pressence and that the bringing of food simply puts off your demise for another day?

*imagines Reginald snapping his lipps paws*

lipp = little

dear god, what is wrong with my hands?

Reginald apparently is showing a lot of behavior associatd with, say, deep and powerful loathing, mixed with pity. I am pitied by my rabbit.

I -- oh, Jenn. *pets you* Deep and powerful loathing is such a strange thing for a rabbit to show. At least he has more emotional range than my brother's rabbit -- that's pretty much limited to KILL KILL KILL and RUN THE FUCK AWAY BITCHES RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

*dies*

Well. Not *yet*. But God knows what other darkness it will display under its soft, immensely furry hide.


Oh wow. Somehow you wound up with Rodney as a rabbit. *is convinced*

*twitches* Oh God no....

Rabbits are fucking evil.

No, really. One time, I was feeding one at this job I had, and for no reason whatsoever it lunged for my arm and latched its evil teeth onto my wrist. Now, this cage was about chest height, so I pull out my hand and I have a full grown rabbit dangling from my wrist, kicking its evol feet at me, and I'm not even making noise yet, and I have to slam it against the cage a few times to make it let go.

It was fine.

But evol.

My mother has also been attacked by rabbits. They don't like my family for some reason. I'm sure yours is lovely but....

Evol.

I have met nice rabbits, and when they are friendly, they are a soft little bag of hugs, but...mostly evol.

Watch Reginald. I think he wants to suck your soul out through your ears while you sleep.

*blinks*

*terrified*

Oh man. My Rabbit is going to try and kill me. I can feel it.

dusty black, highly intelligent, emotionally manipulative, and capable of making me chase him around the room for attention for two hours.

Perhaps you should have named your rabbit Brian instead of Reginald.




*buries head in hands*

Your rabbit sounds exactly like my chinchilla.

Little bastard refuses to have anything to do with me unless he needs something only I can provide -- food dish filled, wheel set back up, water refreshed.

Then, while my hand is in the cage, he'll come close enough for my fingers to accidentally brush against him.

He is the biggest fucking tease.

YES! THAT IS WHAT REGINALD DOES!

*fumes*

aww you poor thing. *pets you* I have never owned a rabbit, I have learned my lesson with dogs. *g* by the way you have converted me to McShep. *sigh* I tried to hard to resist but it was futile. *bg*

*grins* They are irresistible.

The lizard likes me. The scary reptile that I have to feed live crickets likes me. Dearest God. Is this a huge cosmic joke?

why...yes! Yes, it really is.....

Eventually it will leave the Child for you & you will be its little lizard buddy. And the Bunnyrabbit will fall in love with your next door neighbor or something...

Animals are perverse like that....

I can see this happening.

*shocky*

Aw, Jenn. Just be glad he isn't this fellow: (yes, this picture is real, it's a giant breed)


My mother always told me, repeatedly and with great vehemence, that rabbits are lousy pets because they look like they could love you but really they're just rodents. It always made me wonder if she had some kind of tramautic childhood experience with a rabbit.

But they look so loving and warm!

highly intelligent, emotionally manipulative, and capable of making me chase him around the room for attention for two hours

Well ::puts on rabbit psychiatrist outfit:: after reading your post, it is clear to me that Reginald is clearly attempting to let you know that he wants you to change his name to Dr. Rodney McKay, and please be sure to address him as "Dr. McKay", although, if you are very good and very patient, you will one day be allowed to call him Rodney on alternate Thursdays, if there is really good carrot juice involved.

....I'm going to need therapy, aren't I?

*stares at cage*

I am so screwed. Though it explains *so much*.

http://www.dismal-light.net/manor/rabbits/index.html Life of rabbits, in pictures.

We had rabbits who lived in an outdoor hutch. They were soft and fuzzy and big. Dad wanted to cook them, but Mom wouldn't let him.

OMG!

*friend list surfing*

You have my Tupac. No, seriously, that sounds exactly like my little(okay, cat-sized) Tupac. Sounds exactly like her, except she was big and white. My brother found her by a river(happens a lot apparently).

But, yeah, personality and all. Just remember, your rabbit is not your pet. You are his.

I am beginning to get that. Slowly. With much desperate pleading for love on my part.


Rabbit alert! They will chew through your computer wires. We had an indoor rabbit who became an outdoor rabbit because of that. He was happy outside hanging out with the cats, though.

*twitches*

*makes note to watch rabbit carefully*

Laughing helplessly, here.

My house at Uni covertly owned an adorable little hellbunny named Possum. Are you aware that they can shriek when displeased? And yes: I posit that Possum was primarily composed of slinkies and Asgard technology.

*claps you supportively on the back* Good luck with that. ;)

Re: Laughing helplessly, here.

Oh man. This is not the journal of comfort for traumataized owners today.

...though you have a serious point on the slinky/Asgard technology. That teleportation trick....