The Top Ten Ways You Know You Are Reading a Seperis story:
1.) Present tense, third person. Seriously, that is like the fingerprint of doom there.
2.) One paragraph = one sentence. No, really. One page can be like, ten entire sentences, much spindled and mutilated.
3.) Single person pov, and that someone is taking everything way too seriously.
4.) For about four pages, you will wonder if you missed the first part of the story. Then you realize--no, she actually *started* in the middle.
5.) Codicil to four: sometimes, you find out what happened in the beginning.
6.) Never met an adverb or adjective I didn't start a relationship with and offer marriage to.
7.) My OTP will be ohmygodsoinloveforeverandever if I have to end the world to get it to work out. In retrospect, you'd think I could find an easier way.
8.) Sometimes, there are long, long descriptions of food preparation, eating, and dressing. To this day, I still have no idea what I find inspiring about making a sandwich, but there you go.
9.) No one ever gets to have issue-free orgasms. No. The orgasms are (choose three):
a.) deep b.) deep and meaningful c.) rife with self-disgust d.) disturbing e.) possessive/stalkery f.) creepy g.) involving Lionel and/or Lucas Luthor h.) depressed i.) miserable j.) way too long in coming. k.) seriously overthinking it l.) requiring alcohol m.) requiring therapy n.) sometimes requiring medical intervention o.) with the wrong person (requires c, d, e, f, g, h, i, or l in conjunction)
10.) and I ran out there. So. Yeah. Nine! Yay me!