Sadly, that would be a lie.
The bear basically takes up more space on my bed than I do. His name is Augustine and I love him. I have no idea why I walked out today with the makings for breakfast casserole, tarragon, swirl chips for cookies, and a four and a half foot tall, extremely wide stuffed bear.
I'm almost sure this is an extremely strange cry for help, but I'm not entirely sure *why*.
Okay, vote time. And please just move on past the bear already, we have covered that.
John Sheppard, at chronological sixteen, after a long, long night of survival training with Ronon, returns from the mainland, sweaty, and possibly there was rain, so he's soaking wet and lost his shirt, maybe some artistic mud on one cheekbone, slowly prowling the corridors of Atlantis, hair in his eyes, and sneaks in to seduce Rodney.
A.) That is the filthiest thing ever. I have lost all respect for you as a person. But when you write it, email me please?
B.) Didn't he like, throw up on Rodney after his birthday party? HIS NINTH BIRTHDAY PARTY? And oh Jenn, RODNEY WAS HIS SURROGATE BROTHER/FATHER WHEN HE WAS EIGHT OH MY GOD YOU REVOLT ME!
C.) Wait. Didn't you write Clark/Lex when Clark was a freshman? And denying his age now in total contradiction of your own dirtyness?
D.) ...what are Pru and Madelyn blackmailing you with? If I email them, will they share?
I am way too lazy and too terrified of the results to make this a poll. I have this theory that fewer people will take the time and comment just to say B, and also, jenn, please get a drug habit so you don't traumatize our memories of cute eight year old John.