The list includes:
1.) African Sleeping Sickness (two kinds!)
3.) Smallpox (four kinds! FOUR KINDS!)
4.) This one that involves a worm emerging from your skin every so often to reproduce. Seriously, folks, never mention this one to me again, because just reading about it reminds me of all the reasons that I like my water in coffee form.
5.) Mad Cow Disease (called something unpronounceable when applied to humans)
CDC is not crack. It makes crack look good and pure and healthy. Real boredom leads you to diagnose yourself in the bathroom for bubonic plague because those darn lymph nodes are looking a little enlarged, don't you think?
...this is where I wander off to quietly convince myself I'm developing bacterial meningitis, isn't it?