So tell me why you are on this journal, 'cause seriously, I do not buy that I am that interesting. When even I consider the cheese story the height of my entertainingness, well, it's just scary.
Why are you here?
porn, of course.
the cheese story, of course
waiting to see if one day you'll turn on everyone in fiery vengeance (could happen)
blackmail material and/or being blackmailed
might comment below, if I can think of something