The apricot glaze coagulated too fast, requiring me to force spoon it onto my poor brown bird, who at this time was teh recipient of me on the edge of tears becuase it was just too brown! It still needed a glaze! My turkey is going to suck! while plopping down jelly like glaze and rubbing it down with a spoon. The process took a very long time (Mom: YOu are just going to kneel there doing that? Me: *tearful* Yes. Mom: YOu could be comfortable over-- Me: I don't *deserve* to be comfortable. Oh God, we are going to die.) But wow. Seriously, you will rarely if ever hear me say this--but oh my God, I kick serious *ass*. That was *fantastic*. I was eating the white meat and I? Do not eat white meat ever. But wow. Even my sister's slightly psychotic boyfriend re-entered the real world to compliment me, and like I said, right now, the entirety of my self-esteem rests on my ability to cook a turkey, so oh hell yes. I rock. The apricot actually worked, which I was sure it wouldn't near the end, because I figured my destiny was to prove the rule that even the failsafe recipes can fail. But there you have it. Everyone at of, told me pretty things, and left very little leftovers. I hid my pie for tomorrow. I may need to hide more turkey, cause seriously. It was *devoured*.
I'll put up my recipe tomorrow, for anyone interested in seeing what even *I* can manage without disaster.
You know what would make this day perfect? Porn. No, really.