It's kind of my fault. I mean, mostly.
It started with this pic.
svmadelyn and lierdumoa were worse, though.
seperis: OH MY GOD
seperis: THAT IS ZELENKA?
lierdumoa: you haven't seen that pic?
lierdumoa: yes, do not trust the way the scientists look on the show
lierdumoa: because they try to make them all look less attractive than they are
seperis: My God
seperis: My dear God
seperis: I can totally slash Sheppard and Zelenka
seperis: I can not just slash them.
seperis: I can make them OTP.
seperis: Oh my GOD
lierdumoa: dude, that's like how I felt when I found young DH
lierdumoa: I was like
seperis: I need to write Sheppard/Zelenka right now
seperis: Right now right now right now.
seperis: Something porny.
lierdumoa: any ideas?
seperis: Unfortunately, all of them end up with Rodney blowing up Zelenka's quarters by *accident*.
lierdumoa: I love you
seperis: You know it would.
seperis: Rodney wouldn't even know who to be pissed at first.
seperis: he'd wire both their quarters.
seperis: Sit there with two remotes thinking about it.
seperis: Zelenka: *comes into lab warily* Something odd happened in my quarters.
Rodney: *staring balefully at Ancient device* Oh?
Zelenka: No longer there. Very strange.
Rodney: *screws something hard enough to crack Ancient plastic* Imagine that.
Zelenka: Something perhaps, I should know?
Rodney: I'd be really careful with your laptop.
Zelenka: *eases toward door*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: Would offerings of coffee stashes help this situation.
Rodney: No, because I've already confiscated them for pain and suffering
Zelenka: You were not even dating him!
Rodney: That is soooo beside the point.
svmadelyn: Zelenka: How is it beside the point?
Rodney: Hey, shut up!
seperisSheppard: *wanders in*
Zelenka: Perhaps you should....
seperis: Rodney: *shines penlight at Radek's eyes* Shut up.
svmadelyn: Zelenka: *suddenly shaking*
Sheppard: You okay?
Zelenka: *looks around wildly*
Rodney: *hisses* I've rigged you with a mild electric shock, set to go off if you are in a certain proximity of a certain air force officer.
Zelenka: *eyes wide*
seperis: *cries laughing*
svmadelyn: Sheppard: Guys, really, everything okay?
Sheppard: *creeps closer*
Zelenka: *falls over chair in effort to back up*
Zelenka: Fine! Could not be finer!
Sheppard: *coming closer to help him up now*
seperis: Rodney: *to Sheppard* You.
svmadelyn: Zelenka: Dear God, get away!
seperis: Sheppard: You weren't saying that last night!
svmadelyn: Rodney: *to self* Score!
seperis: Rodney: *grinds teeth*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: *shakes again*
Zelenka: He is not near me!
Rodney: Oh, I can do it manually too.
seperis: It would all go downhill form there.
seperis: That would so not be enough.
seperis: Rodney is a wronged princess.
svmadelyn: *sad* Rodney is the vengeful sort.
seperis: That's just how it *begins*.
seperis: Sheppard: You know, you seem upset about something.
Rodney: No, noting. Oh look, tragic.
Rodney: Your quarters are flooded.
Rodney: You'll have to move.
Rodney: How convenient. Right across the hall from me.
Rodney: Where I can *watch you*l
Sheppard: I noticed Zelenka has quarters inn the hydroponics bay?
Rodney: He needs more exercise.
svmadelyn: Sheppard: Um. My quarters are flooded. I'm soaking wet all the time.
Rodney: It's a fine look for you.
Sheppard: But--I think I'm catching a cold.
Rodney: I have vaporub! I will help.
Zelenka: Do not listen to him! It is a tra--
Rodney: I'm getting thumb cramps.
Rodney: *melty* Wow, that was the swee--I mean, let's get vaporub.
seperis: *dies and dies*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: *twitching on the floor, kinda stunned*
Sheppard: Hey, we need to get him to the infirmary.
Rodney: No, we don't. He's just fine. You're just relaxing right?
Zelenka: *teeth chattering* Yes. Resting.
Rodney: See? Now let's get you all taken care of. *makes soothing motions against John's back*
seperis: Sheppard: You know, people have been acting weird around me all day.
Sheppard: First Zelenka, then that hot nurse from the infirmary.
Rodney: *mumbles* touchy bitch *mumbles* Oh. That's terrible
Rodney: Maybe you smell funny?
lierdumoa: OMG I LOVE YOU BOTH
BOTH SO MUCH
seperis: Sheppard: *scrumptiously sniffing* I smell funny?
seperis: Rodney: You should shower. I'll help. I'm altruistic like that. Come along, Major.
Rodney: Anything you want. Chop chop. Let's get you naked--er. Clean.
svmadelyn: *Nurse, walking out dazed later*
Beckett: Oh my goodness, Suzanna, what happened?
Nurse: The--the turbolift kept going for *hours*!
Nurse: Up and down and I thought I was on the other side of Atlantis, and just when I thought I could get out, the doors slammed in my face
Nurse: And then Col. Sheppard's face kept blinking all inside the turbolift.
Nurse: Like a hologram! Oh god, just thinking of his face makes me queasy!
Rodney: *watching behind curtains in infirmary* *makes a little strike-thru on Suzanna's name*
seperis: There will be a support group eventually
You see this coming, right?
Those whose lives Rodney has destroyed.
seperis: Ronon will show up one day.
svmadelyn: Kavanagh: I swear to god, I used to be smart.
svmadelyn: Simpson: *sympathetic* Oh, I believe you.
seperis: And they will be like, yeah. Electrical burns? Join the *club*, wuss.
Zelenka: *mournful* one night.
Simpson: I just brought his laundry!
svmadelyn: Parrish: My clothes all turned pink in the washers.
Parrish: And then suddenly, I didn't have any at all.
seperis: Ronon: I touched his ass.
Zelenka: And yet you live.
svmadelyn: Ronon: Let's just say, I have material that McKay doesn't want public knowledge of.
Everyone: *OFFERS THINGS WILDLY*
Ronon: Hmm. I'll take bids.
seperis: Ronon: *smirks*
Sheppard: *wanders in*
svmadelyn: Ronon: Well. I'm taking everything. And decide who made the best case. You'll get an email.
seperis: Everyone: *flees*
svmadelyn: Ronon: *skips to Sheppard's quarters*
Ronon: I bring you offerings!
Ronon: I mean, presents.
seperis: OOH CLEVER!
svmadelyn: Sheppard: *WOW*.
seperis: Rodney: *watching on security*
Rodney: He's so dead.
svmadelyn: Ronon: *wakes up in the middle of the night to sprinkler system going off with black paint*
Ronon: *traipses through Atlantis*
Sprinklers: *follow him and bless along the way, but with increasingly more smelly things*
Ronon: *stops at McKay's quarters* Your point has been taken.
Rodney: Excellent. Just don't let it happen again, hmm?
Ronon: *sad* *leaves*
seperis: The support group would understand.
Zelenka; Did he fit you with electrocution device? Then no, you are wuss.
seperis: Rodney: *grinning maniacally*
*watching through security cameras*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: *keeps talking, hands working under the table*
Zelenka: Okay, everyone, we have two minutes without Rodney watching. Report!
seperis: *dies *
svmadelyn: Simpson: I managed to steal his underwear! Then I got scared and put them back.
Kavanagh: I took the picture of him and his cat.
Everyone: ARE YOU INSANE PUT IT BACK BEFORE HE NOTICES.
Zelenka: *SHOVES HIM OUT THE DOOR* GOOD GOD. GOOD GOD!
svmadelyn: Kavanagh: *sprints to Rodney's quarters*
seperis: Death and destruction
seperis: So very death.
seperis: Rodney: *suspicious*
svmadelyn: Simpson: *whispers* I told Cadman that Sheppard likes her.
seperis: Sheppard: *wanders in*
svmadelyn: Simpson: She's gonna make a play.
Zelenka: But we like Cadman.
seperis: Simpson: There is no hell that can express this adequately.
svmadelyn: Simpson: Sacrifices have to be made, sometimes.
seperis: Simpson: But the more of us there are? less attention he can give to us *each*.
Sheppard: *wanders in*
Sheppard: Okay, this is getting old fast.
lierdumoa: YOU GUYS JUST MADE MY WHOLE NIGHT
svmadelyn: Sheppard: I'm feeling like a leper. *to Rodney, glumly*
Rodney: *ARMS WIDE OPEN*
seperis: Rodney: You need a massage. Lay down and take off your pants.
Sheppard: ...my pants?
svmadelyn: You make him so transparent!
svmadelyn: Sheppard: Will that make you like me?
seperis: He's not the king of subtlety here.
svmadelyn: I just want to be liked!
Rodney: Yes. Yes, it will.
Sheppard: I trust you!
seperis: Sheppard: *sighs and drops pants*
svmadelyn: Rodney: I just don't know why they all hate you so much.
Rodney: But know that I will never leave you.
seperis: *ominous music plays*
seperis: *somewhere, a bunny realizes it may end up in a pot*
seperis: *the next morning*
seperis: Rodney: *whistling*
Zelenka: *cringes when he comes into the lab*
Zelenka: *braces for morning electroshock*
electroshock: *never happens*
svmadelyn: oh, the morning after
svmadelyn: helps EVERYONE.
seperis: Oohh yeah.
svmadelyn: a triumphant, satiated Rodney, means minus electroshock, yay!
seperis: Zelenka: Does this mean you will take it out?
Rodney; It reprogrammed it.
svmadelyn: Rodney: After six months of good behavior
seperis: Zelenka: *better than expected*
svmadelyn: and by 'good behavior' I mean, don't have sex with sheppard.
seperis: You know, this is almost as long as an actual, you know, ,story.
Everyone: *sighs* God he's pretty.
Rodney: *snaps up remote*
Everyone: NOT PRETTY OMG UGLY!
seperis: It's really romantic.
seperis: In a very Rodney way.
seperis: Rodney: *pets him* I like you.
seperis: *ominous music*
seperis: Bunny: *dies*
seperis: Atlantis: *survives*
svmadelyn: Rodney is gorgeous
svmadelyn: when he will go to any lengths
svmadelyn: to secure the affections of the one he so desires.
seperis: Oh yep.
seperis: Lierdumoa loves us very much
svmadelyn: we are worthy of such love.
lierdumoa I don't know how many more ways I can say you guys rock
svmadelyn: love is expressed through chocolate.
svmadelyn: and fresh prince john sheppard vids.