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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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insta!rec - Isolation by kharessa, sga, adult
stargate, rodney
Isolation by karamarie_mckay - Lost Boys fic. Wow. If there was ever, *ever* a story that straddled the nebulous line in my mind of what is non-con and what's rape, this one is *it*. It's *fantastic*, unsettling as hell, disturbing and dark and twisty and it's completely John and completely, utterly Rodney.

This time, however, Rodney hadn’t waited to break, and it seemed he’d taken John at his word. Hands that wore calluses in places where a scientist’s hands shouldn’t be callused ran over John’s torso, thumbs and forefingers pinching nipples a little too tightly for comfort, and John’s stomach knotted. Rodney couldn’t make him feel good – not from within the distorting haze of the enzyme that granted physical superiority while stripping away the mental safeguards that stopped sane people from simply taking what they wanted and acting on every urge. Rodney could drag it out, though; he could make it lasting and memorable.

That just--that last bit hurts me *every time*. Because John *knows* that lasting and memorable? Are not what he wants here.

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I felt the same way reading the story, except you did a much better job of expressing the emotions it brings out and the way she wrote it. Wow. I'm constantly impressed by the quality of writing in this fandom. I got shivers reading her story.

That just--it's so *good* it takes my breath away. It's simple and dark and just painfully real and I can see it perfectly, happening exactly like that in that little cave room. Rodney already unstable and freaking out and using John like this--and some part of him just sane enough to know he's using him, but the enzyme-tainted part making it impossible to acknowledge or even care enough to stop.

Seriously, creeped me the fuck *out*, in the best way possible.

This part hit me in the gut, especially after what John had already gone through for Rodney.

----“And you trust me now, don’t you?” Rodney said.

----“Yeah,” he (John) replied, and the word came out small, -----tight, and lacking in inflection.

(actually a lot of parts hit me in the stomach, in a good way, but on second reading that part about trust really hit it home how fucked up the situation is)

I have no clue how two people can move on from here and still remain friends or even colleagues. But I'd love to see what happens next.

btw...you said it perfectly.

I agree and now that I think about it, the main reason for me why this is so painful is that they can't come back from this, i really can't see them remaining colleagues much less friends after this.

Thank you so much for the rec. That's an amazing story, and yeah, what hit me most was exactly what you said - there is nothing pleasurable in this for John, but he knows he has to at least pretend to be willing for Rodney. He's trying to protect Rodney from the memories that he himself will forever have to live with.

Some part of me really wants to see a sequel to this, but I don't know if it's possible to write a sequel without taking away some of the emotional intensity.

This story reminded me of Koi's Mercy in a way. Some of the motives are similar, despite the completely different plot: the theme of a close friend going crazy and hurting you, not quite grasping the severity of what he's doing, and having to play along to protect him as much as yourself.

i've never read Koi's story Mercy before, what fandom is it in? is Koi a LJ username? I'd really love to read this story. thanks

It's Smallville fandom, story can be found here, author is koimistress. (The story will make sense if you know nothing about the SV universe other than that Lex and Clark are friends, too. I thought it was an extremely interesting story, especially in the way the structure worked - but I don't want to spoil it for you.

thanks so much for writing back so quickly. :) I look forward to reading the story. :)

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