Thing I Really Wish People Would Stop Doing
For the love of God, random capitalization without rhyme or reason must stop. It's the reading equivalent of nails on the chalkboard. I'm not pointing to a specific fandom here or anything (smallville) or pairing (Lex/Lana), but hey, if this applies to you? Seriously, quit that. Lex is naked. I'm kinda your bitch until you start doing that.
Any time you are adding on extra body parts, explain what the hell they are doing there. My tentacle mpreg strategy didn't just appear by magic, people. There was porn, and then suddenly, there were tentacles, and if you want to make me cry, you'll tell me how I should be more open minded, because I'm open minded, but seriously. Tentacles. Just there. For no discernible reason. So didn't see that coming. I understand the joy of shocking your readers. But making them cry and foreswear all porn in the foreseeable future? Not so much with the good.
In author notes, do not ever tell me you have done anything you have written about, in detail. I really don't like you that much. I mean, I like some of you a lot, and all of you in different ways, but only a few of you are the ones I am going to be comfortable, or stupid enough with, to say, please, tell me more of your six person and whipped cream orgy that's just like that WiP you are working on. Yeah, so. I'm reading your porn. I do not need your sexual history too. Unless I'm very drunk. Then I won't remember. So see, just ask me if I'm drunk before you do that.
I'm serious about that wonton thing. Stop that. That's really really getting on my nerves. And also, making me go from ooh, pretty, to ooh, Chinese food.
Honey is not good lube, and where the hell did *that* come from? Is there some huge, multifandom challenge of all the things that shouldn't be lube out there and some brave souls are trying to write each one?
I'll think of more later. Anyone want to come play with me? I am lonely, and also, trying to write, and also, really, do you want these posts to continue until I can finally fall sleep? Cause y'all, so far, the forecast says the frantic energy *isn't going away*.