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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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madelyn tells me things
svmadelyn waxes lyrical on the call of strangefic.

svmadelyn: but this story gets more and more odd as I progress.
svmadelyn: *waits for stripper donkeys or something*
Jenn: Stripper. Donkeys.
Jenn: You did not just say that.
svmadelyn: it could happen.
svmadelyn: this story makes me believe anything could.
Jenn: You. Did. Not. Just. Say. That.
svmadelyn: It. Could. Happen.
svmadelyn: See--sometimes?
svmadelyn: a story reaches this--plateau.
svmadelyn: where anything and everything is equally plausible
svmadelyn: because it's like the author wrote down one thousand random words and cut them up and put them in a jar
svmadelyn: and is like, ooh, let us combine--windex! andddddddd monkeys! Somehow! Or--oooh, strippers! and....donkeys! hmm. that's a little out there. *draws again* PROSTITUTE DONKEYS AND MONKEYS HERE WE GO.
Jenn: *giggling too hard*
Jenn: Oh God.

There is inspiration, and there are challenges, and then there is the Random Jar of Plot Complications. Okay, just from curiosity--anyone have their own Stripper Donkey story? Cause that, my friends, is worth gold.

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*snorts imaginary liquid up nose*
It's just fun to listen in. You know? I imagine that you do.
*is thirsty now*

Sometimes strangefic only seems strange because of preconceived notions. For a real-world example, I read The Little Friend, by Donna Tartt, thinking it would be a kind of end of innocence tale, as a young girl investigates the event that shattered her family: the murder of her brother. And it is that. But also, it has crystal-meth addicts! And a cult! And *mortal danger*! The first two-thirds of the novel? Slow, southern, sweeping. Lovely detail, lots of family angst. The last third? Drugs, insanity, running for your life. It was fantastic. Honestly, donkey strippers would not have shocked me in the least.

And that's not a bad thing -- I liked the novel. And it was certainly memorable. But I thought the author had gone off the deep end by the end of it.

*stares wordlessly for a moment*

No stripper donkeys.

But maybe somebody should write Clark and teh tribulations of flying. Like he gets caught in a flock of geese who then proceed to attack him. Or gets tumbled in the backdraft of a jet. Or a bird craps on him. Or lands on him and goes for a ride.

Maybe he gets caught in eletric lines? Or somebody freaks out and calls him in as a UFO, and he gets chased by UFO people with cameras. And then has to spend the next two weeks filling out paperwork to get a permit/license to fly in the airspace of most major nations without prompting a world war. And there are demands that he carry valid ID at all times, a copy of that license/permit, and his passport. And he has to check into airport security every time he lands in a new city. And the strip searches make him uncomfortable.

So then he flies really fast. And maybe that ends badly because windsheer strips off the uniform and messes up his spit curl. Or maybe he's flying low to avoid radar detection when a flying squirrel zooms by and both it and Clark make the same facial expression at each other. Then the squirrel falls in love with him and follows him everywhere. And eyes the cape longingly.

I want it! I want it!

*mind-control beams of fic enablement*

Um, yeah. Now you must write this. *smiles sweetly*

I don't, but I have to say that my new favorite euphamism for bad!fic is going to be "the Random Jar of Plot Complications"! Made me LOL ;)

*Pokes Jenn!*
Yes, that's right...I'm talking to you Miss Torture Queen of Clex!! Where is the resolution to your Somewhere Verse WIP? Hmmmm???? What? Are you too busy fondling your Kitchen Aid Mixer, hmmmm? Too busy baking cookies? The whirring sound of the mixer must be drowning out the sounds of our agonized wailing, right? *drops to knees in despair* Pleeeeeeze Jenn *grabs the hem of your gown* pleeeeeze tell us why Lex cheated on Clark! At least do a little snippet of what drove Lex to do that. Just a little paragraph of his inner conversation. *starts sobbing* For the love of GOD woman! Show us some mercy! And if fixating on Stripper Donkeys will do it for you? By all means, write a little blurb featuring them!

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