I mean, I love my show. But *damn*.
Things I Never Want to Hear Again
1.) Brian the Slut Thing - Justin, Emmett, you both trick. You both trick *regularly*. Justin, you tricked with the *stars* in a huge naked party by a swimming pool of also naked people. Please, for the love of God, stop taking the convent approach. Neither of your asses is staying pure for your One True Cock. Brian beats you in sheer numbers, true. Brian beats a small country of sexually active human beings in sheer numbers, yes. But it's not like either of you are coming up one hundred on the purity test, and Emmett, need I remind you of *your* season one scare with an STD? STOP IT. NOW. IT'S ANNOYING.
2.) Brian's Anti-Monogamy Thing - Unless you are from Mars, the viewers all know that Brian has, let us say, monogamy issues. Not, apparently, commitment issues, if I may use the term, but definite monogamy issues. I understand, Cowlip, that it's been an *entire season* since you've had the chance to drag this rotting, deceased horse from the closet, no pun intended, to beat. But the dialogue is frighteningly reminiscent of season one. Are you recycling? I *like* this subject. I enjoy Brian and Justin arguing over it. But. Justin was *just fucking his way through California* without, seemingly, a lot of desire to settle down anywhere. Give me some transition here. Or at least, stop making Justin look like a hypocrite wiht no short term memory. Also--give Brian new lines. He's starting to bore me. I do not believe, at this point, that he actually *believes* half the shit he says. So give some actual *good* dialogue here to ease us into the next of the Battles of Justin and Brian and Monogamy.
And since the hell *when* has Justin wanted kids?
Oh, quick whee! Daphne! Welcome back!
3.) No more Ted self-hate. Let him have three eps where I don't want to shoot him to put him out of his misery. Please. But thank you for the hair. Thank you *very much*. My eyes don't hurt anymore.
Michael--you annoyed me so much less today. You really did. I am proud of you. And I'm so glad, Ben, that you decided to be wise *after all this nonsense* instead of early on, saying, hey, partner, why don't we *take a quick breather* on your psychotic tendenices and take a few valium before playing shuffle the baby? But yes. Everyone seems to be returning to sanity. Except Mel, who is acting about the same as always. I am not happy with her, but I will reserve judgement until I see her in action after she's calmed the hell down.
Hunter--you get cookies from me. Lots of cookies. I never thought I'd say this, but you are hot and pretty and sooo angsty. You need *cake*. And muffins. And whole butter and sugar. So don't let Ben cook them.
Mel--you dialed down the psycho to almost-not-certifiable. That must have taken effort.
Lindz--good call. Cookies for you.
Brian and Justin--you know, I'm getting very wary on this storyline. Almost enough to be tempted by spoilers. But no. I won't be. If this is going to hurt, I want it to hurt as it happens, with minimal suffering beforehand. Yes.
I need to make more icons. Perhaps steal them from others. Hmm.