There are three things that (right now, that I can remember) make me wonder, why, God, why:
1.) Rosetta: Junkmail.
That one pretty much lives on for the ages. No fandom can compete. No, really. No other fandom has a hero this dumb. Wait. Go look. Look at your show. Look at your hero. Imagine your hero receiving *mail* at the *hospital* that's hand-delivered, and then telling someone that it's junkmail. Seriously. All of you in fandoms that aren't Smallville? You cannot possibly *hope* to get stuff like this. You just can't.
I have this fantasy.
Ten years from now, Clark will be doing something. I don't know. Saving cats from trees, writing a novel, getting laid. Something. And then it'll just hit him.
"Oh my *God*. I said *junkmail*?"
He's going to realize the epic nature of his undying dumbness at that second. Because honestly, I don't think it's possible he can get any dumber and still function as a sentient creature. Therefore, if we assume that comics canon indicates he will, in fact, continue to live, he has to smarten up.
2.) Bound: Clark Kent Lectures Lex on the Importance of Virtue
Does anyone need me to actually cough while saying Post Season Two Metropolis Hijinks? I admit, AlMiles plays fast and loose with the virginity, utilizing the terminology of teenage girls everywhere to make the point that Clark Is a Virgin, Dammit. As he spent his time in Metropolis merely commiting grand theft, burglary, thievery, slutty attire, and assault, not to mention attempted patricide. You know, virtuous things.
Though I suppose that if Clark was giving blowjobs, not receiving them, they're still safe on the virginity thing, I just don't see Kal being that-reciprocal.
3.) Transference: Who is Lucas?
Do I even need to rant about this one? This ep rocked, and I'll forgive a lot for the fact that Clark once again got to go bad. But they Forgot Lucas. That stayed with me for *days*.
I have others, but these are the ones that are most recent and chewed on. I mean, above and beyond the frightening level of what the hell are they *on* reaction. Bound still sends me into short bursts of Oh my God I Did Not See That It Must Be a Dream Sequence A La Dallas.
Clark is amusing me, though, esp in this ep.
He does a bad guy far better and more interestingly than he ever did a good one, which actually might be some kind of weird subtextual metaphor--being good is boring, being bad is interesting. Being good requires a stick surgically lodged in your ass; being bad means you get really great cars, hot girls, and some mighty fine digs. Being good leads to betrayal, pain, hurt, and endless angst. Being bad makes you happy. Well, it *does*. Lex tends to be at his happiest and most productive, not to mention *successful*, when he chucks all annoying moral issues and just goes for it. Hell, Clark could say the same thing. Sometimes, I honestly believe the overarcing message is Being Good is Hard and Not Worth It, But Do It Anyway Because It's the Right Thing.
I made cookies. With chocolate. I am going to eat them, rake my zen garden, and hopefully, write smut. Also, I need to get season one. I am officially sure that it cannot possibly be as good as I remember, because I used to rant about it sometimes, but God, right now--I mean, season two is my favorite ever ever ever, as it gave me Heat, Red, Prodigy, and Insurgence, but man.
Still, I love my show. *hugs Smallville* I mean, so far? No zombies.
Wait. *Have* there been zombies yet?
I need to sort more often.
1.) Pretty When You're Mine - I can't belive I'm still writing this. Frankly, I cant' believe I even restarted it.
2.) My Usual Lie - the one with ice-skating. [Bad username: amandajane5"] wanted, I'm trying to finish. But it does. Not. Move.
3.) Landscape - God, don't even ask. I'm stuck in The Happy. That's just wrong.
4.) The Yard - yeah. Like that one is moving at all.
5.) The Funny One, for nonchop I hate the world.
Those are the active ones. There are three QaF ones I flutter around, but they aren't going to do anything until season five starts, because they are annoying like that.
I have two more days off. At some point, I am going to use them productively. But it so isn't happening right now.