Seperis (seperis) wrote,

sv - visage

In which I'm just beginning to think that while yes, Lex is still the love of my life, I COULD concievably just forget the show exists and write fanfic STRAIGHT AU from this show.

There's a frightening pattern emerging here that, if the trailer for next week is any indication, will pretty much resign me to turning the TWoP recaps into my major source of canon.

If you are interesting on the show, you are doomed to die. No, really. You will die. If you are a cast member that shows the SMALLEST amount of life, you will be killed, or, if you're very, very lucky, have all of your dialogue destroyed and your scenes shredded away.

But. Unless you're somehow protected by DC canon, I suggest finding a good place in the cemetary today. Chloe, Lionel, I'm talking to you. Trust me on this one.

But I digress.

I enjoyed this on all non-CLana and non-Lex/Helen levels, which sadly ends up being one Clark and Lex convo and every fight scene, though really, you can't go wrong with some good old-fashioned violence. Because Whitney-Tina was FUN. Creepy, stalkerish, vaguely threatening, and totally in the psychotic zone. I have a weakness for the charming stalker--look how I like Clark! I have an even bigger weakness for those rare characters that show this elusive thing known as--let me make sure I get this right--oh yes, backbone. Some of us like to call it personality as well.

So yes. Whitney-Tina was great. She mooned over Lana in every form with such obsessive devotion that I got a major kick out of every damn scene. Pseudo-slash all over the place. Wonderful stuff. And all the actors who played Tina were IMMENSE fun to watch. Even Clark-Tina was cool, albeit I'm sad to say, up until the actual fighting, I couldn't quite see the difference between Real-Clark and Clark-Tina.

Let me do the checklist.

Stalking Lana--both of them
Bad clothing sense--both of them
bizarre behavior--both of them
Backbone--both, no WAIT. THERE'S THE DIFFERENCE!

Huh. Go figure. It's sad that I'm looking at Tina, thinking, wow, you make a pretty damn cool Clark. Like Red!Clark, but a hair less sociopathic and apparently, extremely monogamous. Lana could do a lot worse.


What, of course, made NO sense is that Tina seemed to be under the impression that tying up people will dispose of them. I get why Mrs. Fordman survived--she was The Official Whitney Encyclopedia. But, um, necklaced Clark was kind of vulnerable. Me, I would have dropped him down a well. NIce and distant. Somehow, locking someone up in their own cellar just--doesn't have that kind of finality.

The obsessed are short-sighted that way, I suppose.

Lex, adorable and paranoid, had me at the first sign of paranoia--and you know, I dont' blame him. Look at Victoria. I mean, she could turn you off women forever. Yes, I'd be pissy if my ultra-rich, CEO boyfriend suddenly accused me of fraternizing with the enemy, but that's when you explain and have them grovel afterward.

Clark and Lex playing pool was lovely. Fun conversation, sweet, charming, FRIENDLY. Which of course should have warned me that thing will go downhill, but I'm currently not thinking of next week's trailer but instead, will drown in the CLexian goodness, since that's all they gave me.

Though you know....

Helen goes to the Talon for coffee.

Hmm. The place her ex-boyfriend half-owns.

Yes, I think it's deliberate, and I would have liked it far more if she'd given him a chance to explain. But I also like that she finally heard him out in the end, despite the fact that my poor boy was given the worst lines in the history of Smallville, and that's really saying something. Seriously, she listened to that and said, okay, instead of, let me refer to you to my psychiatrist friend who specializes in Oedipal complexes. Call me when mental health is achieved.

That's true love.


Okay, so the Lex/Helen thing is growing on me, but I refuse to let it grow too much. For one, because this has Major Lex Love Life Disaster written ALL over it and I refuse to get attached too much. Lucky for me, she's not showing too much personality yet, though I felt disturbing amounts of sympathy, so if she's very fortunte, she'll survive the season alive, though perhaps in need of drug therapy and counseling.

Chloe got minimal screentime--they must be following her contract to the minimal minute or something. Pete got to breathe a few times on screen. He also got thrown into a locker. I'm sure he's fine by now with a sprained wrist and a tiny cut on his forehead. Because you know how weak lockers are when one is throwninto them at high speeds. That dent? Nothing at all!

No Lionel except anecdotal and in photography. But I have to ask--um, what is the point exactly? I mean, is he on CRACK? Hire her to spy on LexCorp, logical. Offer her money to spy on Lex, logical. Offer her money to break up with him because.... I'm not seeing any good long-range goal here besides slowly and carefully digging his very own grave. He's got to know Lex is having him watched, and it's not like Lex didn't ALMOST LEAVE HIM TO DIE ONCE.

You'd think that experience just MIGHT have been a valuable lesson in just how strained family relations are.

So no one was too bright this episode.

This opinion is completely subject to change if my mood improves. That trailer just peeved me entirely too much.
Tags: episode review: smallville
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