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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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happiness is found in disc form
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
My zen can be found in Pride and Prejudice.

I went on a minor shopping spree on Amazon, and I was saving this for my days off, but--ohh. Mr. Darcy. *Swimming*. In his trousers and shirt, even! No boots! No coat and hat! No cravat. That is totally the Regency equivalent of naked with leather straps and a whip, you know?

It's weird how your standards of sexy go through a time warp in five hours of viewing a movie where no one makes physical contact with the opposite sex. Unless they are married. Or Mr. Collins. Whose very existence explains why this rule should be enforced draconically.

Okay, I'm a little punchy. I have to work four hours Ssturday, too, and just thinking about it makes me need another shot with my DVD player.



I love this movie. It first came on when I was living in Georgetown, between Army Ex-Boyfriend and The Guy After, when while switching channels on our completely illegal cable, I hit on A&E and the Netherfield Ball.

It was like, instant recognition. I *knew*.

Now, they are *mine*. Mine, mine, mine.

Random Thoughts:

1.) Swimming. Okay, so not in the book. Don't care. I ask for accuracy, but carbon copy it does not have to be. And let's all face it, Darcy is feelign all rejected-y and it's hot, and I have never, ever objected to completely gratuitous prettiness. Plus, it's a good thing for Lizzy, since she gets to see the goods she'll be waking up beside in the morning.

Wait. Regency. They did the separate room thing. Hmm.

But still. He's all, strip strip strip, and I'm panting through it, thinking, ooh. Undershirt. Bit of neck exposed. Is that an ankle? *swoon* Might faint. Breathe. *Jumping in the water*. My God, man. You rebel you.

2.) It always surprises me that I hit the same level of outraged shock every time I read about Lydia eloping off to London, and then finding out there was no intention of being married. I mean, I get the entire double standard going on here, but on the other hand, I want to slap her upside her head so much. Hard. Because I can put aside a lot, but blatant stupidity is just blatant stupidity no matter what era you live in. Geez, girl. You live in Regency England. Keep your ankles together already. The bed jumpnig is for *after* you are married. I know, because I read about it. So there.

3.) Every time I read, or watch, I still absolutely believe Mr. Darcy's first thought on meeting Elizabeth again at Pemberly was, in fact, WHOO HOO! WILL SHOW HER THE PRETTY WOODS! TEMPT HER WITH RIVERS AND PRETTY VIEWS! AND WHILE SHE IS SWOONING, SHE WILL TOTALLY FORGET SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME! TAKE HER TO THE ALTAR BEFORE SHE RECOVERS! BWAHAHAHA! Cause man, it was so there. And it's never not fun to watch him practically running down the stairs to get outside again before she gets away. I can just see him yelling down the house WHERE IS MY LUCKY COAT? NO, NOT THAT KIND OF LUCKY, DAMMIT! Though he would say it with more class. I'm not that classy, I can't think how, but he would.

Cause that's how I entertain myeslf like that.

I can see the plan form. Get sister to invite her to dinner. Seduce her with heavy foods. Lull her with piano music. Stand her in front of windows to stare at the grounds. Sneak the minister in when she isn't looking. It's all there. Watch it. You'll see. Except the minister part, cause the minister was out with a bad cold and Darcy didn't want to deal with a cranky wife. He figured he could try it again the next night. AND HE WILL SUCCEED! BWHAHAHA!

Tell me you didn't see The Plan.

3.) First names are magical here, have you noticed this? It reminds me of mythology, where the true name could so screw you over if you told it to someone. Everyone is Mr. This and Miss That, and then, if you get engaged, you *might* get to push out a first name, or even a nickname, if you are Bingley and very daring. It took me a long time to retain the fact that Bingley's first name was Charles and that Mr. Darcy had a first name. Which I mean, intellectually, I knew that. Because it's just inconvenient to yell out "OH GOD, MR. DARCY YES!". That's an awful lot of syllables for panting, you know? Though Fitzwilliam really isn't much better. Willy just sounds wrong. I mean, wrong on new and kind of creepy levels. Though I can't see Elizabeth using a pet name either. Again. Creepy and wrong.

4.) That touching thing again. These people do not do the casual touch. You have to be blood related to get anything going on, which I so won't comment on except to say, huh. But it's also interesting that the villians/morons are touchy-feely, or give the impression of it--Wickham and Mr. Collins, for example, adn even Mrs. Bennet, to a lesser extent. While the Upright Gentlemen (and Ladies) keep a proper foot of space between themselves and others. After intense viewing, the waltz being considered *racy* makes a lot of sense.

5.) The Bingleys--you know Jane is totally taking over the finances. In a very ladylike, completely civilized way, of course. Cause man, Bingley has *careless with money* written all over him.

6.) What I really liked was the dress patterns everyone had. It was especially true of Elizabeth and Jane in their clothing choices--they kept to the same basic style for themselves, which was pretty but modest, with Elizabeth preferring long sleeves and Jane with her cloak type. Contrast that to Lydia--and by the way, that's a hell of a rack for a fifteen year old--who seemed to be competeing to see if her necklines were actually made of metal or would burst if she leaned over too much. And man, did she lean over a lot.

7.) I deeply loved the flashbacks. Deeply. I liked the flashes to London, with Darcy being a relentless gentleman going after Mrs. Younge--did he say, Yo, bitch, you screwed me over and you *owe me*. He did not. He just stuck that oh so convenient cane in the door and addressed her nicely and can anyone make polite conversation look scary and menacing in a very, very civilized way? He so can.

And those canes. Again, not commenting *at all*. Just saying. There are an abudance of canes going on in Regency England. And I mean nothing by saying that. At all.

8.) If I ever wanted to slash, I'd slash Mr. Collins and Mr. Wickham. I mean, Charlotte would probably hand them the keys to the bedroom with her blessing and go water some plants. I like her. Lydia's with the regiment--oh come on, I'm *not being mean*, I'm just saying, she could go hang out with them. And really, the boys deserve each other. I can see Mr. Collins now, with all his scary number of thank-you's, adn okay, now I feel very, very dirty. Very, very dirty.

You know, I feel like I need to watch this a few more times. To absorb more atmosphere. Doubtless, this will make me unfit for twenty-first century company and wondering why everyoen is showing *ankles* and stuff at work, but I will bear it.

The *romance*.

*happy place* Lizzy/Darcy. My forever OTP.


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believe me.

i know EXACTLY what you mean.

and now i am gonna go put the second DVD in my laptop and take it upstairs to watch while drowsing.

God, I love this movie. It just never gets old.

*highly amused*

Tell me you didn't see The Plan.

I saw The Plan, and it was a good one. He probably would've included the "run into her 'accidentally' while half-dressed and dripping wet" part himself, if he'd had more time to think things through and really *formulate* his plan of action.

Apparently Colin Firth gave that huge-ass portrait of himself as Darcy to his mother. Who is a professor at some important university. I forget if she actually hung it in her office, or if my sister and I had that idea and thought it would be amusing if it were true.

Other than the swimming and its aftermath, my favourites are the proposal scenes (I think Mr Collins was deeply influenced by the racy novels he stole from Young Mistress deBergh's collection), particularly the first one with Darcy in which he looks physically distressed by his admission of love. And then gets bitchy. Jane Austen knew her way around comedy. :)

I also enjoy Duckface Bingley. She wears those feathers so *well*.

I saw The Plan, and it was a good one. He probably would've included the "run into her 'accidentally' while half-dressed and dripping wet" part himself, if he'd had more time to think things through and really *formulate* his plan of action.

He's clever like that.

Other than the swimming and its aftermath, my favourites are the proposal scenes (I think Mr Collins was deeply influenced by the racy novels he stole from Young Mistress deBergh's collection), particularly the first one with Darcy in which he looks physically distressed by his admission of love. And then gets bitchy. Jane Austen knew her way around comedy. :)

Oh man, Mr. Collins and Darcy's proposals were hysterical in contrast! *dies laughing*

Pride and Prejudice is one of my favorite books. Like ever.

I groaned when I saw it on the syllabus. Then it wormed its way into my heart, and I'm now on my third copy.

It's so hard not to love once you get into it. Austen brought on the snark big time.

The other night I dreamed I had been cast in a modernized version of P&P. I was *Jane*, and I was completely flummoxed because I'm not the Jane type, and even in my dream I was ranting about this version of P&P (the one you're watching), and how Jane was miscast because she should be The Pretty One, *obviously* prettier than Elizabeth, and IMHO she's not. They fell into the cinematic trap (which only Emma Thompson was able to resist, because she's both self-confident a genius) of casting the most beautiful actress in the leading role, even when she's explicitly not as beautiful as someone else.

Anyway, in the dream I was a newbie actress, glad to not have as many lines as the actors playing Elizabeth & Darcy, trying to learn the ropes as we were shooting the scene where Lady Catherine comes by to grill Elizabeth. Only in an updated version. Yet with people going off to church on Sunday morning . . . No, Sigmund, I honestly have no clue.

*giggles* Okay, that is such a cool dream. I never dream that cool, dammit.

I'm reading An Assembly Such As This, P&P from Darcy's point of view. As you may guess from the title, it is different from most Austen-derived fiction in that it is not horrible. At least, not yet -- I've not gotten very far.

Hmm. You into Georgette Heyer? Because if you've never tried her, A WORLD OF MEN WITH SWORDS AND PISTOLS AND TIGHT, TIGHT PANTS AWAITS. (Hey, she totally deserves the drama.)

I just saw those on Amazon. I'm not buying until she finishes the third one, but it got some really good reviews.

I read a few of hers. They are. So. Cute. Damn.

is it fanfic or an actual book? And if it's an actual book, is it worth spending actual money on?

Oh man, now I want the DVDs too! I love this movie, just love love love. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are absolutely wonderful together, snarking in that totally civilised and restrained Regency way. The swimming. *fans self* What you said about the ankles. Whoo!

It's so great. I mean, seriously, *good* make of a novel. And it's totally five hours you will just revel in.

Every time I read, or watch, I still absolutely believe Mr. Darcy's first thought on meeting Elizabeth again at Pemberly was, in fact, WHOO HOO! WILL SHOW HER THE PRETTY WOODS! TEMPT HER WITH RIVERS AND PRETTY VIEWS! AND WHILE SHE IS SWOONING, SHE WILL TOTALLY FORGET SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME! TAKE HER TO THE ALTAR BEFORE SHE RECOVERS! BWAHAHAHA!

Totally agree. GOD, I love this version of P&P. *pats her well-used DVDs*

Mmmm, yes. Love this so much.

Have you read the book? Sadly there's no swimming, but that's more a visual thing anyway...

In junior high. It's one of my favorite books ever.

Mine too! Austen's heroines are soooo much better when they're spunky.

Ahem. Perhaps a bad choice of terminology.

The 1995 version is the best one ever. And yes, I've seen all of them, even the Laurence Olivier/Greer Garson one which changed *everything*, even the period (Elizabeth wore hoopskirts. I kid you not) and made Lady Catherine into a good guy. Have you read the book written by the producer about the making of the mini-series? I ordered it off amazon.co.uk a few years ago, and it was great. Lots of behind-the-scenes trivia, lots of interviews with the cast members, lots of thoughts on how to translate from book to screen. Much, much better than books about the making of movies usually are.

Also, when you get right down to it, it's a fucking GREAT story! I remember being on a bus one morning last year, and there were two people on the bus who were obviously co-workers. One of them was apparently taking an English Lit night class, and was reading P&P for it. This twentysomething male was just *raving* about how great this book was, how when it was assigned he was dreading it because it had so many pages, and it looked boring, but as soon as he got used to the language, he got totally into it. He was saying he'd sat up until 1 a.m. reading it the night before, trying to find out what would happen with Lydia and Wickham, and then his girlfriend took the book away from him and forced him to go to bed. He said he'd brought it with him so he could try and finish the book on his lunch break, because he really really needed to find out how it ended.

I totally agree about THE PLAN and I do love that movie. When I'm short on time, I sometimes skip the earlier parts and just watch it from the point where he goes for his swim up until the end. He just smolders with passion for her so beautifully.

Ah, the BBC's Pride & Prejudice. Best thing ever. My Mum and I are complete P&P fangirls - our taped copies have explicit instructions to NOT TAPE OVER IT.

The BBC's big winter drama last year was Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South, and it's also excellent.

Hee! I LOVE that version of P&P. And I think you totally hit on Darcy's secret plan!

I remember people once talking about The Look - when she's singing at Pemberley, and he's watching her all smoldery-like, and she looks up, and they just gaze forever -- and if it was Clark and Lex, that look alone would be enough to keep us going for a year *g*

Which I mean, intellectually, I knew that. Because it's just inconvenient to yell out "OH GOD, MR. DARCY YES!". That's an awful lot of syllables for panting, you know? Though Fitzwilliam really isn't much better. Willy just sounds wrong. I mean, wrong on new and kind of creepy levels.

"FITZ! OH, FITZ, YES!"

...you're right. There is no good here. It is a very unfortunate name. *g*

That is totally the Regency equivalent of naked with leather straps and a whip, you know?

You just made me splutter water across my monitor, you know that, right? I mean, not that I needed another reason to love that moment, but man, that image may sit in the back of my head for a while.

And it's never not fun to watch him practically running down the stairs to get outside again before she gets away. I can just see him yelling down the house WHERE IS MY LUCKY COAT? NO, NOT THAT KIND OF LUCKY, DAMMIT!

*snerk* He really is that frazzled and desperate to impress. It's sweet/adorable/hilarious, really.

However, I can happily say that The Plan didn't quite occur to me like that. I was with you right up to the Ambush with the Secret Minister, part though.

Willy just sounds wrong. I mean, wrong on new and kind of creepy levels.

Hee! Plus, it's just making me think of the Scottish groundskeeper on the Simpsons, which isn't good either. Mind you, Fitzwilliam really is a mouthful (and remind me, what was his cousin's name? That visited Lady Catherine with Darcy? It was something terribly similar, wasn't it?). I think I'd have to follow Bingley's example and just call him "Darcy" (despite the fact that Darcy calls him "Charles").

If I ever wanted to slash, I'd slash Mr. Collins and Mr. Wickham.

Ewwww! I'm sorry, but seriously, I *never* want to imagine Mr. Collins having sex. Ever.

Mind you, when I think of P&P slash, it's always pre-book. I'm very fond of the idea of Bingley/Darcy and Wickham/Darcy (yes, it is all about Darcy for me), but I can't mess with Jane/Bingley or Eliza/Darcy. Just, no. Can't do it. Has to be in the past tense.

Ewwww! I'm sorry, but seriously, I *never* want to imagine Mr. Collins having sex. Ever.

Oh, hee. I'd have to second that. Somehow, I think it's a little off-putting for people to hear what 'Lady Catherine would suggest' to be a better position in bed.

Charlotte? Totally uses earplugs.

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