October 7th, 2012

children of dune - leto 1

for your horror survival pleasure


Since this feels appropriate for the times:

Creepypasta Survival Guide or, How to Survive If You Find Yourself Trapped in a Creepypasta (some of these may also help for Trapped in Horror Novel, Trapped in Any Episode of Supernatural, Trapped in Horror Movie Unless It Is Hostel Or Saw In Which Case Have Some Hemlock In a Fake Tooth or Something Because You Are Fucked).

Personal Favorites:
8. WHO WAS PHONE is always a good thing to ponder. Also who the hell answers a phone while kissing a dead persons sexy daughter. A douche is who.

This rule could also be applied to the episode that anyone who watched Queer as Folk season four noted was the pivotal moment in the season where Justin was identified as the guy who was doing the posters, which all could have been avoided if Brian hadn't literally interrupted coitus to answer the door. I mean, I don't know a QaF fan who didn't shout at the TV. You could hear us in space. Like, no. Dude, I don't interrupt reading porn to answer the door, okay? Just, what the hell.

11. When going to a hotel, try to steer clear of unauthorized areas. If you couldn’t resist but you saw a red thing, take some time to consider the price range and hotel standard on your next visit. Have you ever stayed at a haunted Hilton?

You know, this is going to figure in all my future travel plans.

17. Japanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. Their ritual is 100% effective on corporeal forms.

You would think that would be obvious, wouldn't you?

23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.

Will Smith endorses this message.

The lack of useful rules may be the reason, other than the torture-porn, that I hate most horror movies. Half the sheer horror of horror is always the possibility of escape, because there is nothing more torturous than hope. Without hope, it's dismemberment and death and you don't even get goddamn Pinhead to show up and make you uncomfortable with your bdsm tendencies.

Also, if you'll look under Creepy Links in the sidebar, they have links to some of the best horror on the net, including my personal favorite, Dionaea House, Ted's Caving Page if anyone needs to induce a state of claustrophobic psychosis and no elevator is available, and SCP Foundation, though warning, they are ruthlessly removing a lot of variety in horror and weird for a very specific aesthetic in terror and weird, which isn't bad, but for me, it's becoming monotonous like whoa. I suggest if you have any favorites, save them on your hard drive.

Ichor Falls is also a fun place to go, though the activity is low, it has some classics.

I'm still seeing if I have any new fanfic for horror purposes to rec, as opposed to fanfic so bad it could be horror but the author was probably going for romantic. Suggestions are welcome, as always.

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