April 1st, 2010

children of dune - leto 1

history suggests i need to reconsider my life plan

I've come to the conclusion that those "power of positive thinking" people might be onto something. As Positive Thinking Person walked by my cubicle (and smiled.) I thought about her transferred to somewhere without access to indoor plumbing and abruptly felt a lot better.

Dear those who follow the woo-woo (or maybe just the one in my office):

It's not that I don't think there's like, some kind of grain of usefulness in your approach or anything, nor do I grudge you your carefully constructed personal happiness, but seriously. Over ten thousand years of recorded human existence and you really think we could have stopped all of our wars, our famines, our weird obsession with other people's sex lives, our uncomfortable fascination with weapons, mental illness, clinical depression, plagues, cancer, STDs, bad hair days, toenail fungus, and why Windows still has a blue screen of death with cleansing breaths and deep positive thoughts?

Sure, I'll go with you are just that much more evolved. Does that mean I can stop saying you're human?

...oh, that's what you mean by positive thinking! Thanks! If you step foot in my cubicle with anything resembling life-advice, you'll answer to the letter opener and this truly hideous coffee I am forced to drink.

one cup of coffee from a revelation about the nature of man and negativity,

PS: Today in Lowered Expectations I am setting us all a goal we can easily, easily accomplish. This will set the stage for the day that false confidence will lead us to fail, but that day is not today.

Your task: avoid telling anyone they smell like cheese.

Good luck! *fistbump*
children of dune - leto 1

podfic: five ways arthur almost found out about merlin, read by fleurrochard

five ways arthur almost found out about merlin, but didn't., read by fleurrochard. Okay, if you don't recognize this one (I didn't!), it's here.

...I may have had to listen to this like, three times so far.

Okay, this week is going far better than like, my life would suggest up to now. I seriously expect a pony on the front door to show up. With wings.