March 17th, 2010

children of dune - leto 1

so could anonymous get on this already?

Stupid things that made me happy this week:

My Dell mini has face recognition software. People, we live in the future.

For those with webcams who have been doing this for years, shut the fuck up, I got excited. Mostly because a.) I hate webcams, b.) the point of the internet is I can be social without makeup, clean clothing, or even vaguely acceptable hygiene, and c.) well, see b, really. So this is all new territory. I currently use it to randomly log into my mini just when I get bored. Hiberate it, open the lid, watch it log me in, and cackle. Repeat eighty times.

This is in fact how I entertain myself when the servers go down. Oh please try to judge me. I can log into Absinthe the mini with my smile*!

(* Note: I don't actually smile at work. I try to keep expectations extremely low on both my appearance and my mood, so it's an event when I a.) wear eyeliner, b.) wear something that isn't a hoodie, and c.) smile. The week Star Trek came out and the week after I was a goddamn fashion plate of joy and scared the crap out of most of my coworkers, who believed the apocalypse was nigh.)

Things that scare me:

From Cracked (my obsessions are quite obsessive):

Five Reasons You Should Be Scared of Apple which I consider like, totally legit, but also, see the Number One Reason.

Wait. I can link you to the article that inspired it.

From Huffington: Forced Interaction Commercials

Voila! Finally, Apple can deal with that silly human attention span and desire not to see one more ad for a Toyota with accelerator issues--we have to interact with the commercial to get it to go away. Wait. Think about this one. Not only do you have to watch the commercial about the miracle of dishwashing detergent, you will be tested on it or something. Tested. On. The Commercial.

Okay, let me be blunt here. Before nine am and at least one cup of coffee or two highly caffeinated beverages and some mindless surfing, if you quizzed me on my name and gender, there's a good to excellent chance I would answer with syllables that don't appear in any human language.

I am going to grant, it does not specifically say 'will test your comprehension of this commercial', more than it verifies you are paying attention and will lock your system if you don't comply.

The thing is, the wet dream of corporations who handle software has been some way to make us buy teh same thing all the time. New releases every year (anything Adobe, anything Quicken, etc) aren't cutting it anymore. Making us constantly pay for the privilege of using something has been on the table for-freaking-ever, and it's not like broadband doesn't encourage the idea that rent-to-never-own is a viable and workable option. Basically, the idea is stripping out any concept of personal ownership of anything, which software and music are doing wonderfully with current technology as it stands. And in limited doses, we do in fact pay constantly for internet real estate right now--anyone who owns a website deep down knows we're really just renters of both our space and our names and the landlord can be a total dick and incinerate our stuff at a moment's notice. I mean, RL landlords can't even do that.

I have an entire rant on the recent fits sites are throwing about adblock and noscript being used (hint: go to fandom-wank now), and my ethical standards of usage (I will buy music, I will buy software, I will buy licenses, I will even buy internet real estate, because these things are important to me and I can verify amounts and times with my bank statements and credit card statements) are hitting against a serious mental block that not only is what limited space I can get free of advertising being threatened (hint: tiny space), I could not only be forced to watch it for my tech to function but verify I am watching it, and people. I don't pay full attention to crossing the fucking street, a commercial doesn't stand a chance. Think about this being added to those goddamn bluray trailers for a second that right now take magical button-pushign abilities to skip. This could be your life.

I mean, not that I am saying this is all about me, but I am saying, if they were custom designing this torture for me after I've been good faith buying my music, dvds, blurays, game consoles, games, software, televisions, vcrs, dvd players, bluray players, and more computer parts than anyone should own but a wholesaler, something has to give. It might be my sanity, but likely, it will be my willingness to do those things anymore without a court order, and trust me, I do not have enough in the way of personal wealth to feel like there's all that much I have to lose. Ooh, fine me for a million? Love to see how you collect that. I live in Austin. We have a lot of free range wireless internet that don't even involve going to a coffee shop and I know where the good cardboard boxes can be had (hint: everywhere).

This has been a message from my sheer horror when I saw the visio flow chart. Dear God.