February 3rd, 2010

children of dune - leto 1

so the upshot is, now i can say raincoat and make him twitch

I have come to the conclusion that the world's problems could be solved if everyone just lowered their expectations. This 'shoot for the stars' nonsense has to go.

Observe: I no longer 'hope' (such an outdated word) for a good day at work. Instead, I set my sights at not having actively homicidal tendencies when someone says "Good morning". Granted, I am not quite able to achieve that yet, but you know, I feel this is a goal that might, one day, be met.

It's like with Child. I understand most parents look at their offspring at birth and think "S/He will be president/discover a new planet/win the lottery/marry well/never own cats." My goal: "He will not be tried as a serial killer and end up a major cult figure among disturbed teenagers with too much eyeliner who write myspace poetry about him." So far, the plan proceeds apace, but well, who can tell the future? My second goal is "not get anyone pregnant before the age of consent" by running condom pop quizzes at him every so often. Okay, I lied, that part is actually how I entertain myself when I'm bored.

Like this.

"What do we do when confronted with a vagina?"

"Condom!" Knee-jerk. Doesn't even have to think about it. That happens when your mother's been doing this to you since pretty much the age of understanding verbal language and both your aunts took up the cause just because they ran out of things to do.

"Remember: fun is fun, but always wear your raincoat."

"God. Stop."

"Is it raining?"

"MOM SHUT--oh. It's--actually raining outside."

Me: *cackles*

Achievable goals. Don't reach for the stars. Reach for the bottom of the hill! It's not as steep and you won't get tired as quickly. But you know, have fun with it. And if you can make someone have traumatic sex-talk flashbacks every time it rains outside, well, that's just icing.

Not Related

So Child's computer is dying (really horribly) and I had to quickly budget to get him a new one because of course I'm sending him to a school that has more powerpoint and research projects a year than I did throughout all of college. So I spent many merry hours not raining blood and toads down upon my place of employment configuring systems, and then accidentally ran across a link to a paired system of a laptop and a netbook. I stared at the price for a while and then wondered if I was hallucinating, that the desktop I'd been configuring very carefully was more expensive and less neat than the laptop and then, well, netbook combined. So obviously, I bought them before that page vanished. Obviously.

To be fair, this is not a case of expectations exceeded, though oh my God, Dell, did you forget about that offer still being around? Somehow--no idea how--I cracked the front bezel of my laptop over the left hinge. It's a cosmetic repair, but it's a goddamn complicated one and I have to both order a new bezel and basically take my entire display assembly apart, which requires me to take the entire front part of my laptop apart and remove the keyboard, then remove the entire cover and LCD, because the way they assemble laptops is fucking schizophrenic, and I'll be hitting a lot of delicate wires that do things I'm still not sure of. I won't even start on the adventure of trying to track down what this thing was called so I could replace it as Dell hates joy--I just kept entering search terms until a picture appeared that matched.

I like taking my computer apart. I do not like taking it apart when a liquid display is involved in the proceedings and has to be disattached in various ways that will probably end in tears (me) and tragedy (what I will do if I lose Adam). And I really don't like it when I don't have a diagram or easy access to the internet when I'm playing, so this is waiting until I get the netbook and can have that and Child's new laptop both open to see what I'm doing. No, I don't mean Dell's breakdown either. There are a minimum of four things in here the last time I had to do a repair that did not show up in the specs, and one of those things I"m pretty sure came through a Stargate.

I really wish I could say this is not exciting, because that really says so much about my life I'm not sure I really want to admit. However, I have hunted up the screwdrivers and have bought new cleaning clothes and compressed air. Even abject disasters should involve dusting the fans clean and peering excitedly at my chip array.