April 29th, 2009

children of dune - leto 1

i seriously remember this scene from the stand

My nephew--has sniffles. I've seen pink cheeks. There's a definite air of Not Perfectly Healthy. I'm suspicious.

I've been overruled in casting him to the wolves to protect ourselves from the hotdog flu, so I want you all to know that I tried to protect humanity and it totally did not work.

[Note: mneiai says: NO! What if that created some sort of super flu? It's already swine-human-bird flu, do you want it to be swine-human-bird-wolf flu??? So please remove "exposing relatives when showing signs of illness" from your Survival Checklist, please.]

By now everyone knows that Texas has the honor of having the first flu-related death in the US, which you know, we reacted to appropriately, by shutting down all UIL events (that's all school related sports and statewide academic competitions) and in Austin, we have school closures as well. We're not overreacting at all.

[Apparently, a school in Austin had a kid that may have a case or something?]

WHO Raises Panedmic Level to Going To Probably Die Soon KTHX so I went to check our trusty Death Map of Encroaching Death to see how close we are to annihilation. As you can see, this is now a Very Special Swine Death Map, as opposed to the one that shows lesser diseases like ebola and polio, which are totally Old News.

I'd like to thank CNN for that very special article Three Twentieth Century Pandemics so just in case anyone isn't dragging out the breathing masks and pulling guns on everyone with a runny nose, they'll get right on that shit.

To say I watch with an eye toward which places I'll be scavenging for goods when civilization collapses does not necessarily overstate the case. I'm thinking the future will need very large LCD TVs and high end laptops. I do not necessarily support future looting, but I do expect everyone to do their part and keep an eye on what will be useful in our glorious new technopunk society. Stockpiling Jolt and coffee would not, I think, be an overreaction to the problem. Also, I'd suggest grabbing a copy of The Stand for useful tips about how to travel during the end of the world. We will need to be able to perform off-the-cuff appendectomies, know how to operate a motorcycle, and be proficient in several types of firearms. And don't go to the crazy white guy in California Vegas, people. Mystical old black woman is the way to go. She told me so last night.

Cthulhu save you all.

ETA: Corrected California to Vegas, as tzikeh knows our survival manual, Cthulhu love her.