April 27th, 2009

moody cow

update to the end of life as we know it

Yes, it has come to this:

The European Union's health commissioner Monday called on people to avoid traveling to both Mexico and the United States as health officials around the world worked to contain what appears to be a spreading swine flu outbreak.

Though notice the lack of--say, oh...Canada? Yeah, you can travel there, despite the fact that they had six so-called mild cases of this non-kosher-hotdog-ish flu (let's all thank deadlychameleon who redubbed swine flu to non-kosher hotdog flu due to it not being totally swine and let's just all admit it, somehow, still better than calling it swine flu). SIX CASES.

So. We've been isolated and left to die. Left to die. I am so betrayed by France. They gave us a statue! (of Liberty!) And fries! And some rather pricey manicures!

It's all very confusing. I still don't want to be sacrificed beyond Thunderdome to the Elder Gods, however. Let's just all take that as a given while we mull an impending low-tech future where we'll all be forced to use dial-up to access the internet, because let me be frank. I will give up running water before I give up the internet, so let's all concentrate on saving the electrical engineers and the people who maintain the mainframes, kay? We can rediscover indoor plumbing when we're sure network access will not be lost.

...would it be wrong to cough loudly around people who try to talk to me at work today? *curious*
children of dune - leto 1

think of this as a way to discover your hidden talents!

Right.

Earthquake in Acapulco, so we have disease and disaster, let's wait for famine. I am placing twenty on locusts, and have started my pre-Thunderdome preparations, which is to make a list of lots of techopunk and post-apocalyptic movies to see what we're up against and what I should be looking forward to. Do we think Bladerunner could be a potential model? If anyone says "A Handmaid's Tale", we are not speaking again.

I have a feeling no one will be attractive covered in dirt and barbed wire, but you know, my standards doubtless will lower once the New Dark Ages come. They'll probably be something like "So how are you with building network accessible caves?" and "Can you hunt because I can't and that's just how it is."

The World Health Organization has raised the alert to DEATH TO ALL CTHULHU DELIVER US, though they are cleverly couching it in less inflammatory terms. Though I do appreciate that last line intoning about the last two great pandemics of 1968 and 1918. Because let me tell you, that is what I need to read right now.

Also, the US is under a public health emergency now. And right now over Texas, there are dark clouds and rain. Possibly these are related. Cthulhu is not pleased.

Okay, does anyone but me keep looking at their conveniently handy copy of The Stand and want to alert anyone who dreams of a.) Scary White Guy or b.) Magical Black Woman to please post immediately? Also, don't go to the Scary White Guy. I mean, in no book ever does that end well.

For current references on the sloping shape of darkness on the horizon like some kind of slow motion George Romero zombie movie, Death Map of Death. Go to the left column, click on check none, then cleck influenza, and stare in wonder at the marvels of technology that brings us the shape of our fate.

You may or may not know that a.) I slept really badly last night and b.) I had a very long day at work. I cannot say I would prefer my future life in a tent city fighting viciously for the last orange and shiving anyone who tries to get my network connection while I'm downloading the last known copy of Dr. Who, but I will say there is a sort of brightness in never having to return to work again.

So, to drag this out again--Your Post Apocalyptic Personal Ad, for when civilization falls. What skill sets are you looking for in a mate (group, commune, unit, etc) at the end of the world, and what can you offer in return? Yes, sex is completely acceptable.