April 26th, 2009

children of dune - leto 1

the necronomicon should not be a style guide

For those souls that do not have svmadelyn friended, you may not know about, wait, let me quote:

Through the magic of the internets, we can track any kind of pandemic and watch doom crawl slowly toward us!

With you know, the Death Map of Death Disease of Death With Added Google Alerts!, which is apparently how we can indeed watch our deaths approach slowly. Like that book? About how a nuclear war happened and people on this island are watching the fallout approach, slowly? And it's like, the entire book is watching it coming and possibly people having death-affirming sex. Pearl? Stupid Depressing Fucking Book of Inevitable Misery? That title seems too long, but I'm pretty sure it's more accurate than the original.

I never read that one, but my parents had that one and Exorcist near their beds along with Outbreak, so it's not like I didn't know from an early age that in some way, there would be an apocalypse like a cafeteria choose-your-own-main-dish-of-death. It's soothing. As inevitable things are.

Here's the thing--swine flu. I'm sorry, on my death certificate will not be swine flu. Assuming we have those and aren't simply living in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome-style structures and burning our dead outside the settlement while praying to the Elder Gods for succor. That part actually worries me--right, no religion is perfect, but I've had nights I've seriously worried post-apocalypse that worship of Cthulhu could rise and have you seen their pantheon? I don't think it's a good idea to bring the Elder Gods into this. Their communions aren't symbolic. And Cthulhu has skin care problems.

This stuff keeps me up at night, people. Promise no human sacrifices to the Elder Gods. Especially not of my swine-flu-infested corpse. Though it would serve you all right if you did and got swine flu and died. So really, that's punishment enough.

....I've read a lot of HP this weekend.