I'm going through some kind of obscure music phase where I'm buying music on speculation--i.e., that while I do not like it now, or even feel vaguely hateful to it, the song/band/genre has enough crossover with the Atlantis Project* that I'll like it eventually.
*(Atlantis Project is my writing music and the elite of the Seperis playlists. I have mood lists and writing lists and etc, but Atlantis is the stuff that kind of owns my soul. Actually, it could be the musical equivalent of my soul, though that does argue do I want my soul to include Erasure? I don't know.)
This is a shitty way to get music**.
**(It is. But it has a ten percent success rate when I can't get my new music fixes via vids, and that's pretty good odds and about ten times better than I can manage without some kind of personal emotional crisis. So really, this entire music situation could be blamed on vidders. Who aren't vidding. Why aren't you vidding?)
Granted, it turns out that grimly forcing repeat on myself until the homicidal tendencies ease means I do like them from sheer self-defense. But it turns out to also be hideously repetitive as well, for as it turns out, when I'm buying speculatively, I'm not all that imaginative--I'm basically buying what says it's a lot of rock, and sure, that's the genre, but it's just not. It's rockers who had torrid affairs with emoband boys and were left crying into their whiskey about their lost heterosexuality, so they are taking out their pain with guitars instead of eyeliner***.
***(They may be wearing eyeliner, too. IDK. I'm just saying, Theory of a Deadman's lips are saying "Rock" but their eyes are screaming "Give me my Fallout Boy mix plz to express my pain". And I have four of their songs, so I know what I speak of here. Like I said. Repetitive.)
It's really disconcerting. It's worse than just they sound alike. I get the feeling they were all left by the same emoband. I can't be sure, but I have this total My Chemical Romance Broke My Heart and I Am Expressing My Pain with My Guitar thing**** going on with like, four of them. It's weird.
****(This would be 10 Years "So Long, Goodbye" and Theory of a Dead Man "Not Meant To Be". Okay, anyone who has that--the intro. Where the hell have I heard that before? Fuel? Three Days Grace? It's driving me nuts. I have heard it before, and if the damn singing wouldn't start so quick, I could probably figure it out by singing the first verse. Because that is familiar.)
Mostly, I'm irritated because Collective Soul's Run is totally something I can feel in my bones is my song and it's totally not happening. I get a bigger emotional hit off Cold Hearted Snake at this point, and let me tell you, I can still feel shame. I am grimly humming along with Run and almost feeling it, then I give up and flip on Faith No More or something. I mean, I did a 100 repeat on this song. The most emotion I can get off of it is a vague need for a sandwich next time I take a roadtrip and that doesn't even make sense.
I'm also thinking of the Id Vortex in music, which is I guess different from fiction? I think there's an encouraging thing that music should be your Id. Which fine, okay. But listening to Broken with Seether and Amy Lee makes me profoundly uncomfortable, and I mean, that was before I stumbled across their real lives and times.
(Randomly, Breaking Inside by Shinedown and Staind's Believe are the soundtrack to Tale of the Sea Serpent. My Id and I have a fantastic relationship. My third choice was Alanis Morisette, but Arthur giving head to "You Outta Know" felt like something I should be ashamed of, even if I didn't know why. Do with that what you will.)