January 8th, 2008

children of dune - leto 1

it's not all genetics, though i have to wonder how, then

*thoughtful*

I've been thinking on privilege in the more general sense of my life since the meme, because quantifying my existence into mathematics is something I do for fun. I can add up my life in a series of value statements on what I've contributed to the world as opposed to what I've taken without return; how I've speeded or slowed entropy, if you will. And that's Spock speaking, by the way, but the succinctness fascinates me. Bread upon the water--if it should be returned, are we talking seven fold or will I receive a floating bill for services rendered?

A lot of my personal weirdness comes from too much Star Trek, I suspect. Somewhere in the back of my head is a balance that I keep adding or subtracting from, like a miniQuicken that tells me if I've surpassed my harm with good. Though I suspect both are debatable depending on who I ask.

At the new job, I'm recognized on sight. There's wide smiles and hand-shaking and hopes I'll enjoy the work. They laugh at whatever stupid joke I make to get through the moment, and they come back later, with encouraging smiles and how I'll be such a success.

The thing is, they don't know my name. They know my mom's.

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