March 30th, 2006

crimes against humanity

sgafic: crimes against humanity, 5

I'm pretty sure that whoever developed the hideousness of requisitions has to be some kind of minion of hell now. Cause wow. Though it temps me to try and see if I can requisition a helicopter. Technically, I have the codes right here to do it, along with a head of cattle, a zipper, and some dogs. Temptation.

But right, enough on that. More glee, more darkness, more mayhem. Sort of. I swear, I'll be getting back and answering all comments this week, I'm just--not doing too great at it right now.

Part 4

Warnings: Please see this entry for series warnings.

Collapse )
flying pig

in which insanity is just around the corner.

Thing One

About a month or so ago, I went to a training for PRF - prerequisitions. Clarify. Pre. Requisitions. There's this--*waves hand*--entire horror associated that I've tried to explain but can't, and yesterday, I committed the horror of putting an extra number on the origin code and my keyboard fingers briskly slapped. Anyway, my beloved stamper has been submitted, and so that means sometime in the next three-five years, it'll show up, possibly after I've already had a fit of insanity and started calling myself Bob.

It could totally happen.

Anyway, today did the computer glare filters, and started going through the Alphabetical List of Purchases, which contains all the codes the state of Texas comptroller uses for state agencies. This is a PRF field, to kind of put your thing in a coded category. I think.

Then I made a list of things I'd like.

Animal Parts - I just kind of want to see what they are. WHAT animal parts? The world will know when I order it.

Breakage Payments, Greyhound Racing - Hmm. I could use payments.

Bull Semen - I just think the look on everyone's face would be reward enough.

Cattle - the ones above 5,000 a head, not below

Helicopter (purchase) - my boss says if I can get it here, we can use it.

Mobile Home - for naps during lunch

Rodents - I need a pet to amuse me

Thimble - yes, this really does have its very own code.

Zipper - and so does this.

I really--you know, there are more insane categories, but most of them, I can kind of see how and why they developed since agriculture and oil were and in some places are such a huge part of the economy. It's just--a thimble category. That just does something weird to my head. My Dilbert calendar is so achingly accurate. Sometimes, I think I am talking to him. Usually, that means I should take a break.

Thing Two

The old file room that my unit was moved into is, in a shocking turn of events, as warm as an oven (and I somehow avoided so many bad jokes today) and so my boss told me to reserve the adjoining conference room for every second we can get it this week. Okay, problem is, it was reserved in blocks by other *people*. So I calmly and patiently made *eighteen reservations* in Outlook, and had the front desk call me to ask if I was having some psychotic break or planning a really bad coup.

I said no, I was trying to avoid my unit expiring of suffocation, and she said, right. So my cover is blown. Drats.

Thing Three

Okay, so yes, I had coffee this morning But it's not good coffee. Office coffee, like my cubicle, tastes wrong and redefines the concept of 'any caffeine anywhere I can get it', and while I am no coffee expert, when I'm twitching away from my drug of choice no matter how much sugar I pour in, you know something is wrong with the grinding process. I kind of want to take the big coffee machine and hide it, replace it with smaller, but far tastier, Mr Coffees that don't make it taste like we used wastewater for the base, you know? Or ooh, found a Starbucks next door. I don't get it. I fall over the damnable things everywhere but this street, and let me just say, I hate Starbucks so much it hurts me inside, but I could totally get behind them if my other choice is the worst. Coffee. Ever.

I need another cup now. Someone please rescue me. Or you know what? Tell me where there is epic h/c romance Sheppard/McKay, readable. Epic. H/C. Romance. Readable. With a nice, predictible formula, true love forever, and a satisfactory mansex ending. Fine me one and let me have it. I want romance and comfort and something to read while eating too much ice cream tonight and thinking, they are paying me to order bull semen and make imaginary meetings.

rec of cuteness

Cause the story tells the *truth*.

The Pretty Brigade by pinn2480 - short, sweet, *funny*.

"Maybe it was a conspiracy, maybe SGC wants up to populate other galaxies and so they only sent attractive people who would have lots of sex and babies."

It's just--yeah. Totally agree there.

Cookie icon for making my day--or rather, night--brighter than it was before.
children of dune - leto 1


I need to seriously *stop* with the Alanis Morrissette connection here--I just think putting up an Alanis and Coldplay playlist says, I need to get new music, and what the HELL, Fashes, that's *good stuff* you sent. Wow.

And also, there is just no way that John Sheppard and James Wilson would bond over hair care while House and Rodney destroyed the egos of everyone at the SGC. Later, Rodney and House find their respective boyfriends surrounded by half the female SGC and trashed beyond the English language to describe while everyone pets them and tells them how pretty they are.

Later, there is sex, but not before Rodney lectures John on getting drunk with men who blow-dry. And he keeps trying to make John's hair stick up again. It's all very sad. Rodney is hurt, John comforts, there is comforting mansex.

Wait. That is technically h/c! I have my romance, people!

I know it's wrong. I just don't care all that much.