March 27th, 2006

children of dune - leto 1

(no subject)

Things At Work

Okay, you see I have not much to do by the fact I'm livejournaling and answring comments in a timely fashion, which by itself is kind of disturbing. But. Today is moving day, where I switched cubicles and brought sandwiches for everyone to snack on to ease them into the fact that they are now stuck in what appears ot be *stalls* in a room that has some creepy resemblance to a death chamber.

I am just cool like that.

Rabbits

Are all boys. Yes. My rabbits, who indulge in activities that many a Baptist minister would preach against, are in fact, all boys. Very very gay rabbit boys.

Okay, see, the thing is, on Friday, I took them to the vet, right before I went on a bloodthirsty spree across Atlantis. It was their first check-up, see if they had any problems, and also, assure I in fact had two boys and a girl. Right now, my hands look like an emo teenager who cuts herself from all the holding down and whatnot, but by God, they were checked. And so one at a time, the truth was revealed--my rabbits, who--I can't even really describe what I have seen them do when they believe themselves unobserved, but wow, *huh*--engage in carnality, are all very not straight, and I have this queasy feeling that somehow, someone from the Christian Right is going to show up and tell me that I am an unfit rabbit mother for turning my rabbits gay.

Or I could just believe what actual science says about animals and sexuality and how rabbits bond. I'm so not kidding. This is apparently their *bonding*.

Okay, humans are way too complicated, I've decided. I could totally get behind spending my entire life being groomed and cuddled and told how pretty my lop ears were. And eating four kinds of lettuce and one kind of vegetable every day becuase my owner was paranoid about proper rabbit digestion.

But wait, there's more.

The vet thing came out, however, with a fabulous moving moment of actual human/rabbit love, in which my rabbits figured I was the lesser evil and not only submitted to cuddling, but voluntarily allowed themselves to be picked up and cuddled. Oh bliss. You cat and dog owners with your openly loving, affectionate animals? Pah. I can have grudging rabbit tolerance! AND I LIKE IT.

Life bliss.

Also, they actually come to the edge of the cage now to look for me. They don't like it when I touch them, but if I sit very still inside, they will put their tiny paws on my knee and stare up at me with huge rabbit eyes. I'm pretty sure they're actually double checking to see if I am secreting bananas on my person, but I prefer to think we are bonding in the traditional way of man and rabbit, and not in the traditional way of rabbit and rabbit, and hey, did you know that there are worse things than Nifty?

There's the pet porn archive.

Please, don't ask. Just google if you have to know, but for everyone's sanity, try not to click. I made that mistake googling rabbits and pellets, and I'm pretty much wishing I could die now. Thank you for your patience while I try to find a decent spork.