November 17th, 2003

waiting

(no subject)

Just think, angry misery can be *beneficial*. Running on just around two hours sleep, I got up this morning on the side of the bed I like to call Hell, and that's because I slept on the floor.

Because, on a cool night in an air conditioned house? I somehow, miraculously, got overheated. Again. Three hours of twisting, turning, everything, and I *don't* get insomnia like this. At least, I didn't used to. So me and my over the counter drug thing are doing just great, and double dosing at lunch didn't just make me jittery, I hit *mania*.

In that way that should be depressing, it was kind of cool. It figures the only way I can be even relatively happy is when overworked (as Many People called in sick), with a pounding headache, and pretty damn high. I had a blast this afternoon. My control-freak instincts kicked in beautifully, as there was no one to tell me what to do. Honestly, I'd be more ashamed of myself if I was just less *tired*. But not sleepy, apparently. Which, again, if I was less tired? Would *also* freak me out.

Of course, in the middle of this, I had that short-tempered flash of sheer, blinding rage about a rather innocuous email, and God, someone should put me *out* of my misery when I get freaked about email. *sighs*

I'm so in need of cotton candy right now.

Comfort Fic - been recced, been multirecced, but my journal, my wallowing in self-pity. I comfort myself with what works.

I Know What You Wished For by Lane Carson, QaF - because it just makes me happy, happy, happy. This one and Between Love and Hate, the sequel. I *wallow*. At this point, I *deserve* to wallow, since I don't see any cotton candy.

Better by shallott, SV -- still one of my favorite fics of all time. Just subtle and beautiful and so perfectly post-Jitters.

In the Absence by Jane St. Clair X-Force, I think - see, the thing is? Never read the comic book, could probably not pick them out of a line-up, but the entire story is just so perfect it makes me melt. Every. Damn. Time.

Bail by Arabella O'Reilly, QaF -- I just love this one. And the sequels.

I think I should go forth to chat and make someone miserable. Any volunteers? *hopeful*