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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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children of dune - leto 1
I'm trying to think positive.

*sighs* Screw that. I'm trying to think *sane*.

I'm scared to go back to my office. I'm scared. Not just dreading, but I'm *scared*. I'm not afraid of having too much work, I'm not really afraid of the misery my super can cause, though that's Hugely a Problem, 'cause if anyone knows how to hide, it's me. I'm not even really that freaked about being without friends in the office, since I know Missy's going to find another job soon. Though that sucks, since it occurs to me that I've gotten used to a certain amount of friendly human interaction. You know, the kind that doesn't involve a computer. It's that I know I can't succeed at this. And eventually, I'm going to stop even trying.

On More Happy Notes

Landscape is officially beyond the halfway point. I look on it with a great deal of pride. No post-finishing-one-half-letdown for *me*, oh no. I sent that sucker off to issaro and svmadelyn, curled up in a happy ball on my chair, and thought, I am *so cool*. And also, I can take a nap now.

You cannot underestimate the power of a nap as incentive. A *mid-day* nap, even.


Speaking of those.

I was thinking on the myriad ways I am disobeying every parenting book ever written and smiling to myself.

Okay, thing. Last year, Child sucked in school. Frankly, it's a constant surprise to me he passed. He hated it. He was bullied to the point he was throwing up. I have a bad feeling his teacher didn't pay much attention to him. He was deeply unhappy. His handwriting was terrible. His reading was terrible. All in all, first grade was not a good year for him.

After his first two weeks in second grade, where he seemed to be *excited* to go to school, I sat down with him and cut a deal. Because I am that kind of a parent.

The Very Wrong Reward System:

Perfect A's--any Game Cube game he wants, with a rating of below M.
Perfect A's and B's--any Game Cube game he wants below thirty dollars, same rule on rating.

The only reason I put the M in place is that some of them are, frankly, scary as shit. I'm less worried about the violence than I am the animation. It scares *me*.

First report card? He made merit roll, easy, all A's and B's. Well, not easy--his handwriting is atrocious and went one point over the minimum for a B, but he got a 97 in science, which completely blows my mind, and during conference, his teacher said that he was understanding the work at levels most of the other students didn't. Buttering up the parent is, I'm sure, a common thing, but I'm all for that. We sat down and talked about how much better he's doing, then I took him to buy his game, Spiderman.

So, this six weeks.

Still perfect A's and B's. Except we're up to five A's and two B's, his handwriting improved by three points, and his reading jumped by *eight*, math by three.

What have I learned from this? The Reward System WORKS.

So, we renegotiated, since that was a hell of a jump. Perfect A's on the next report card nets him a Playstation 2. Everything stays the same with B's.

So. I'm just a rebel on the loose these days.

Other Weirdness

Okay, this is probably just me. But does anyone ever just sitting around, suddenly thinking up originalish slash ideas? Which technically wouldnt' be called slash. I know, it's silly, and the premise that I worked out while, you know, wasting time is just ridiculous, but there it is.

*sighs* I need to do something productive. Porn would be good.

You know what else woudl be good, svmadelyn? More Devil!Lex. Perhaps we should all, you know, as a group, email her? Lots of email. Perhaps *flood* her with email to remind her she left us hanging.

I like to call it *encouragement*.

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But does anyone ever just sitting around, suddenly thinking up originalish slash ideas?

Haha, all the freaking time. I have to stop myself or I'd have more boys living in my head than I'd know what to do with. And I'm not even any good at the writing thing.

It's all--weirdish. And weirdly addictive. Gah. Like I don't have enough with to thinka bout with the fanfic.


Oh! *hugs* again for those CDs. Thank you *so much*.

I guess it depends on the kid. For some kids, the reward system wouldn't work, but for others it works great. And you know your kid.

And yes, a better teacher and a lack of bullying can also make a LOT of difference.

It really does. I mean, the teacher and school thing. He doesn't dread school. It hurt me to have to be hard with him on that, because I know exactly how it feels to dread getting up in teh morning for school. So now--less with the guilt.

So yeah. I'm pleased as punch with him.

Good for you and god for the child!! The reward system totally works! You gotta have something to work towards and at Grade Two it ain't for the pure joy of knowledge! I use the reward system on myself to motivate me to do things! It totally works!

I use it on myself! I get DVDs for stuff I get done, so yes. *g* It's good to know it works on Child, too.

I've actually written original slash, the existence of which I got to argue in sistermagpie's journal recently. So yeah, you're definitely not alone.

*giggles* Entire scenarios leap out at me for no good reason. It's disturbing, almost.


*waves from the "has written original slash" corner* I still have a surfer hanging out in my head... and the surfing documentary from this summer on tape just waiting for me to watch it. Hee. Other assorted boys, too, but Deke is the only one I've actually written anything for.

*giggles* We should form a support group or something. To get it out there at least. "HI, I'm jenn, and I write original slash."

Dude. My cousin always got the reward system. Except he? Got a new game system EVERY QUARTER he got on honor roll (As and Bs).

(I? Got straight As through seventh grade AND NEVER ONCE GOT A REWARD. I hate him. Ahem.)

You are not overdoing anything here. You are rewarding him for working hard. It's good to be rewarded for hard work! It's like... getting feedback for fic. If feedback were video games.

God, could feedback be video games? That would be awesome.

Ooh. Video game feedback!

That would be *interesting*.

Um, as a teacher? Trust me when I say you don't butter up parents whose kids don't deserve it.

*grins* That's--I hope so. I mean, it's so *cool* to hear that about your kid. I love him and think he's marvelous in all ways, of course, but darned if it isn't nice to hear it from someone not a blood relation.

random note: Only made it half way through comments tonight. Promise will have them to you before I leave town for the holiday.

No problem. NO pressure. I plan to stare at it meaningfully until there is porn. I need *porn* dammit.

oh hell, yes. you promised happy, domestic, middle of the afternoon, slow sultry, porn for me in this next bit. And I'm holding you to it =) in fact after previous traumas I'm thinking multiple session, stay home all weekend, make clark think lex has gone around the deep end, marathon porn.

I can't imagine why the Rewards System is a bad thing, especially at that age because school is generally boring and hard and what's the fun in that? So you give the kid an incentive, and over time, they'll learn the rewards of doing well are often found in doing well itself, not just the games.

I mean, badly implemented, sure, it can be a bad thing. But it sounds like you've implemented it pretty reasonably.

I'm just glad it's working and his grades are up--and more or less doing homework without a war. Most of the time. That's just hte biggest relief.

Yeah, I can imagine. I know I was a nightmare for my parents at that age--I got skipped over 2nd grade, and totally failed to cope with the homework levels in 3rd grade. It didn't help that it was a very hostile school enviroment, but... yeah. In retrospect, I feel very sorry for my parents.

Anyhow, I'm glad to hear things are looking up for you and Child. :D

I happen to be a huge fan of the Rewards System and I don't think it's that wrong at all... it's working towards a goal, right? :-)

Dude, there is nothing wrong with the reward system, and yours is awesome, especially with a 6-9 year old boy. They breath video games <g>

My mom used to bribe me with $10 an "A" and then considered this a bad move when I got a 4.0 through High School.

They may say it's wrong, but you're right, it works!

Hey, I think your reward system is great. Yeah some kids enjoy school and do well at it without rewards. But, you know, in the working world people are expected to put in work in return for something. It's not warping your kids values to teach him if he does well he'll be rewarded.

Oh, and tell him Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles is the best multiplayer game *ever* for the game cube but you need 4 gameboy advances to play it with friends. ;)

My mother used the reward system on me -- at one point, I was getting $1 per A on my six-weeks' report cards ($7 being sufficient incentive in junior high where I was making $1 per washed, dried, folded load of laundry or $.50 per night of dishes done). And in junior high and high school when Mom wanted me to take the PSAT and ACT and stuff and I just didn't give a damn, she'd bribe me to do so. The upshot was that I wound up being a National Merit Scholar.

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