Best of....sort of
Standing in the Common Spaces, Smallville/Spiderman the Movie, Lex Luthor/Peter Parker - I still like reading it. I think that's my actual standard--if I don't wince while reading, I'm still happy with it. The entire story is an ode to hope, even when things are at their worst. I really loved watching Lex through someone else's eyes--someone who could be objective and at the same time, be able to sympathize with both Lex's and Clark's positions. And I like that in the end, the story told what I wanted it to tell--about love and loss and finding a way to move on from both of those things.
Jus Ad Bellum, X-Men the Movie, Logan/Rogue - I am disgustingly infatuated with this story, and not just because it was my first actual attempt at a real novel. I wanted to write something with a over arcing theme, I wanted to write something with a character that undergoes a significant change, and I wanted to make it about hope. If I squint, my favorites are usually about hope--and with Jus, the hope is kind of symbolized in Rogue's journey, from X-Men to true believer, able to understand the difference between what's right and what's easy and able to choose a side by more than default. And being able to be a person to give up everything for an ideal. I still love that.
Sleep While I Drive, Smallville, Clark/Lex - it's a romance novella. A long, winding, semi-pointless romance, about falling in love and making a leap of faith and trusting instinct. I wrote it because I was in love with them, and I wanted everyone else to be, too. A long, scary, lumbering love story. It still amuses the hell out of me that I put them in a bouncy castle. I mean, that was just good times all around.
Echo, Queer as Folk, US, Brian/Daphne - Subverting canon as a slasher is already what I do. Subverting QaF requires work, and dropping Brian in bed with a girl.... It just felt wrong. So I had to try. It was weird and awkward, but so was the situation, and I liked building from that, the way that people with nothing in common find common ground in a person they loved and lost.
Heels, Star Trek Voyager, Chakotay/Paris, Paris/Torres, etc - At the time, I was very Paris/Torres, so writing non-P/T was odd enough. Writing slash was a totally new experience. The cliché of Tom being the ship slut and fucking anything that moved was something I'd wanted to play with for a while, and rewriting five seasons of Voyager's history--well, that was fun, too. I also liked darkening Voyager a little--but then, everyone likes to do that, so not a surprise. Chakotay was just interesting to write--I'd read just enough C/P to wonder what the attraction was, and after writing Heels, I finally got where it was coming from. Didn't convert me, but did make me see why. There was also that entire annoyance with the perceived bias toward slash on ASCEM(L)--I wanted to see if it was my choice of pairing or the quality of my writing that was the problem. I had that question quickly answered. And you know, high heels? This is a total thing of mine.
On Love and Lust at Mutant High, X-Men the Movie, St. John/Bobby - that was so fun I still wish I wrote in that series. All teen drama, all the time, in thirty-two stories, plus the eight outtakes. Everyone had sex, everyone had drama, everyone did things, and again? Fun to write. It also had the added attraction of being the place I first practiced writing slash at length and working on the concept of a relationship, starting from scratch. Since movieverse at the time was very L/R oriented, I figured they would fall under the radar and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone, you know, mocking them while I got my feet under me. I still have fun reading about the first time they have sex--I don't think any posted story, before or since, had me struggling through so much research just to figure out how to phrase everything. I still had issues with the word 'cock'.
In the Absence, Smallville, Lex/Lucas - it squicks me. It squicked me to think about it, it squicked while writing it, and I'm still uncomfortable reading it. I got Lex drunk and let Lucas seduce him. There is no world that this isn't a big wrong, but it just--was there. It's not love, it's not even the hope of love, but it's the connection between them, and the need to take whatever they can get. In retrospect, it's kind of depressing.
Stories Out of Childhood, Queer as Folk US, Justin/Gus - I could have just as easily called it 'look before you fuck', because it's just weirdly appropriate. I always had a deep desire to write a young Brian fic, but that would be, you know, Brian tricking, which isn't anything new and hasn't been done better by other people. Using Gus as a stand-in, letting Justin fall just as desperately in lust and not know why, that was just fun.
In a Yellow Wood, Smallville, Lex and Clark - I forget this story a lot. I have no idea why, but I do when I'm thinking of my fics, and it's probably one of my better ones. The entire series still works for me and makes me deeply regret not writing more in that universe, just to see where I could have gone. It's vaguely hopeful, and giving up, and accepting responsibility, and it's also just worst case scenario. And just fun as hell as an AU.
In a Thousand Miles, X-Men the Movie, Logan/Rogue - it never ceases to amuse me that in three of my four primary fandoms, I wrote roadtrip fic. This was the second and written under the influence of an overdose of Jane St. Clair and Bishclone, and where my addiction for run-on sentences and my rocky relationship with adjectives and adverbs was cemented for all time. It's just a love story, complete with leaps of faith and hope and the way that being in love makes you do anything.
You know, if I look at the list, except for In a Yellow Wood and Jus Ad Bellum, they're primarily love stories, and I'd argue both of them are, in a really weird way. Most are love stories with the object of the affections not even there, which is, in retrospect, not a little creepy. Hmm.
So. Agree? Disagree? Think I left something off, or completely disagree? I'm curious. Critique welcomed.