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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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svreview: dichotic, s2e9
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Added 8/31/2004

I'm backdating entries from diaryland into LJ. Yes, this is an entirely useless project that is right up my alley.



Start off...

The Smart Challenge by Serrico. Thanks for pointing it out! I am ever so behidn in LJ readings its pathetic.

So go. Shoo. Check out the possibilities.

Episode:

Well, this is an hour of my life I'll never get back.

Huh.

LaT and Thamiris for the clever, snarky stuff.

Stay here if you want the whining.

I AM going to whine.

I am going to whine until they bring back my favorite characters. You know, the ones that play on Smallville. Clark, Lex, Chloe--oh yeah, and Pete and Lana too. Clark's Creek, As the Smallville Turns, or insert your soap of choice here, they I don't like so much.

So. Lex has proved he is hot doing basically anything. Even in sudden, unexplained, bizarre spurts of temper in which he commits misdemeanor damage on the vehicle of an employee of the city. Don't get me wrong--I am very, very, oh so very tired of having the Required Anti-Luthor Moment From Someone Putting Down LEx, and yes, it was rather relaxing to watch destruction, as I am a fan of that. Also? He's stressed. He had a headache. He was feeling off.

But just from curiosity--where did that come from again? You know, since except for Lex's massive and quite beautiful temper tantrum in Tempest, he's NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE?

Huh. Well, color me confused. Lex, like everyone else, joined the Random Plot Device Generator of Doom that the writers used to make this script. Apparently, they found the one online and thought, huh, now THIS will be an easy way to do our scripts from now on!

Jonathan, working on a tractor, breaks his leg. I'm sure this could happen to anyone. Lalala, lalala, he doesn't yet know how to make sure his toys are properly secured before playing with them. Hmm. That sounded wrong.

Chloe and Lana act bizarre and after their history of being stalked, random attempted murders, and strange situations, both deliberately choose to believe Clark is Jealous, not that he has a legitimate complaint.

And here's a thought to help it out--why couldn't PETE leap out and say He's right! therefore Clark having backup on teh weirdness?

Oh right. That would make things simple. And logical. Can't have that.

And for the rest of the episode, the characters we like are exchanged for bizarre pod people.

See Tara LJC for the 'what the fuck' on the entirety of Chloe/Clark/Lana triangle.

I'm just curious. Did the writers, at any time, just for kicks, watch an episode of Smallville? You know, to find out who these characters are? Lex first jumping into unexplained temper tantrums, then, while I support Lex having a sex life with someone that isn't trying to screw him over or kill him, his rush of exposition of his life in Smallville (aka almost let my father die) was kinda--why was that again? Because you know, when I want to impress future sex objects, I usually pull out the iffiest thing I've ever done in hopes they'll see me as someone worth spending some time with. Hey, tell her about shooting Roger Nixon and your suspicions that your best friend is weird.

And what happened to Lana and Chloe?

I am officially exhausted with Lana's "You have secrets I don't know, therefore I should know them too." I honestly thought I was tired of it before, but I have reached NEW heights in tired of it. See Mt. Everest? My exhaustion is standing at the top of it, screaming. And like Tara LJC said about Chloe--since the hell WHEN has Chloe parroted that back? When did Lana become the mouthpiece? When when oh when did Chloe lose her spark?

And you know, after you friend saves your life, whining about how he still doesn't share secrets really pisses me off.

And Clark sweetie? YOU DID DATE CHLOE. YOU ASKED HER OUT. SHE WORE A DRESS, FLOWERS AND DANCING WERE INVOLVED. THAT IS A DATE.

Thank you.

Also? Let me just toss this out for fun.

As a rule, I've been trying very hard to NOT be so pissy with Lana about her bulldoggish going after of Clark's secrets. After all, I found this charming in Lex, and it worried me that I was double standarding. I'm OTP, but you know, I should TRY to be somewhat objective.

But you know? The difference? Lex didn't use emotional blackmail as a first offensive. He seemed--so very calm about it. He watned to know, so he did the research. Lana? Whines. And whines some more. And whines again. And then whines and holds out the "I'll be your girllllfriendddd if you tell me" sort of thing, whereas Lex would have nailed Clark without asking for secrets in return.

Um. Maybe I said that wrong.

But. Big difference. Right, Lex almost got Clark killed, but dammit, at least he didn't make the poor boy miserable and emotionally drained on every occasion. *g* When Debchan says Lana's eyes suck the will to live, I'm beginning to believe it. I think all teh characters have been staring into her eyes recently.

It's not that I hated this episode. Mostly because I refuse to believe it was one. It did an amazing job at managing to not fit into Smallville continuity at all, it forwarded no greater plot arc, it did not re-illuminate any of the relationships involved, and it did not, in fact, have any characters I have met before. Pete as a Forwarding Plot Device, his new job--*sighs*. Chloe and Lana as Buddies Against Clark--*sighs*. Clark--*sighs*. Even Lex? *sighs* I'm kind of impressed. In almost every episode, I've always found something that worked. Or something was added to the mythology. Yet, and this is a feat of writing that should be lauded, this was an episode of Smallville that, in fact, had absolutely nothing to do with Smallville. Wow. Now THAT takes talent. Literally. We could easily have gone on the street, gotten someone who has never seen Smallville, gave him the names, and said, run with it.

The Lex and Helen pre-coupleness has begun, however, which should lead interesting places. Makes me smile. Sort of.

Bored bored bored. It has managed, amazingly, to beat out Obscura and Reaper to reach that special place known as How Useless Is This? Everything in this episode, theme down, felt forced. Oh so forced. So damn forced. Like teh poor characters were dropped into a plot and told to deal. While they were high. And possibly suffering from amnesia. While drunk.

Obviously, this was a mass hallucination by all Smallville fen. Let us all find our Zen via Lanning and forget it exists.

Hmm. That was bitter. Go figure.

Let's cheer up.

Recs:

Treacherous and Sere by Te. Spideyfic! Spideyfic! Te is writing! AND! Spideyfic! Yes, I am happy. Leave me alone, I needed something to take the edge off my night.

Frosted by Aklani. Mmm. PWP. Frosting. Clark. Lex. Do you need a diagram? *g* Run.

Happy Endings by Victoria P. Chloe/Clark/Lex! Pretty, hot, sexy, hot, and Victoria. Ah, love. Yippee!

Chloe the Dragonslayer by Kathe. And Kathe is in the ZONE! Wonderful Chloe, funny, smart, and this makes me happy. If you read it, you'll be happy too.

Fell by Dystocia. Final story in the falling series, and THIS is whre the author was going! Huh. Read it and think.

Make Me Feel by Illferret. Mmm. Lex introspection. Mmm. Very nice.

LJ Art:

Slodwick does more art. The eternal question burns--does Slodwick sleep? Eat? Bend time? Sold her soul to--something?

I wonder. I do.

The Adventures of a Lanaless Smallville: (and hell, throw out Pete too)

So, let's say we were rewriting the Pilot.

Shift Chloe--her mommy was smushed under a meteorite, after which she and her dad left Smallville to live in Metropolis after her mother's sister Nell hit on her daddy a few too many times. In revenge, Nell sent Chloe the Necklance of Bizarrity to wear, and Chloe wears it without being aware it was what killed Mommy, because frankly, deliberately wearing what killed your mommy is freaky. After returning to Smallville in eighth grade, Clark falls for her but hte necklace makes it impossible for them to do anything interesting, and Chloe thinks it's because he doesn't like her.

Tension! Look! Tension with someone interesting! Logical tension! Interesting tension! Flip your hair, Chloe!

Shift Whitney--while friend when younger, Clark and Whitney have grown apart, what with the sports and popularity thing sending them to different social stratas and the fact that Whitney is dating Chloe, Clark's Love Interest and Best Friend. Which already, this triangle is getting more interesting. Wow. Anyway. Continue to the Hanging in the Cornfield as outlined in the Pilot.

Wow, I changed the episode with two paragraphs and continuity wasn't disturbed.

Proof Number One that We Do Not Need Lana.

Anyone wanna do Metamorphosis?

Wow, that was bizarre. Anyway.

Off to find something interesting to do. Someone write me epic apocalyptical fic. Epic. Apocalyptical. With Sex. CLex liked.

Keywords. Epic. Apocalyptic. Sex. CLex. *g*

No, I'm only on my second cup of coffee, why do you ask?

jenn