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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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in which ego nosedives
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
I finally finished preliminary edits on Stumble and Fall, via cjandre's brutal beta, and here's what I found out, just from counting. This segues with the beta rivkat just sent me of another story.

1.) I believe in combining three perfectly usable sentences into one, miles long one. And when I say miles, I mean, I have a sentence that extends for a very long paragraph. Or several paragraphs of those. What. The. Hell? How does it hurt me to use a period? Is the world running out of periods? Am I afraid if I use too many, someone else has to go without? Why am I afraid of periods? Did they do something to me in a former life that makes me suspicious of them?

2.) Related to that, comma abuse. This is unreal. I have commas in places that commas have never traveled in any respectable sentence structure. I am packing them up and sending them to a comma foster home, where hopefully they can find good writers that won't hurt them like I do.

3.) Adverbs. I don't even know where to start with this one. It's not that I just use them without pity; I turn things into adverbs that were never meant to be adverbs.

4.) The semi-colon and I are some kind of deadly enemies. You'd think I'd expect them to attack me en masse if I use too many. Which trust me, I don't. This relates to comma violence above, as many a self-respecting semi-colon could have been used to ease my abundance of sad little commas.

5.) 468 uses of words that have an ly at the end. That's 6.158 per page. I just checked this with find/replace and a calculator. That's a lot of adverbs. That doens't include the ones that don't have ly at the end.

6.) I have people looking a lot. 197 times, to be exact.

7.) I can't face counting the gerunds.

I need to start from scratch and rewrite, but I'm not sure I can face that right now.

Okay, now that *that's* out of the way.

I want to have one more pair of eyes run over this before I post it. Anyone willing? cjandre made a lot of comments on continuity and timelineliness, and at this stage, I honestly to God can't figure out how to do it, I've read and edited so many times. Would anyone be willing? Please? I'll make you a cookie icon. That's about the best I can do at this point. I'm doing another run-through just on grammar using her notes to figure out how many sentence fragments I can kill without too much messiness, but the story still feels fragmented. I don't think I did enough connection between some scenes, but I've lost anything resembling an editorial mindset.

*hopes* Post here or email, either one. It's at 32,599 words as of right now. jenn at thegateway dot net.


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I'm online, just invisible. I'd love to read it. Come online or send it over!

Ooh, thanks, honey! Went to do fish things, came back to remmeber i posted this. Emailing in a few minutes, attachment in word. I think Ihave your email in my address book *finally*.

*Hugs*

Fish things?

I am probably gonna take a nap soon, but when I wake up, story reading will commence!

I am awake, but I do not see your story.

You have no idea how thrilled I am that you are working on this fic. It's one of my favourites.

You have no idea how *glad* I am that the words 'the end' appear at teh bottom of this fic.

*Hugs* I hope it is worth the wait. Just a little more editorial destruction and it should be fit for posting.

I don't know if I mentioned this, but a friend of mine once commented that MustangSally & my stories "skipped more periods than an entire inner-city high school class."

We love you, we do!

*g* I remmeber your author notes saying that, I think, in one of the Buffy stories. It still cracks me up.

It's like I'm running some sort of grudge vendetta against the english language. What on earth did it to do me to make it--*dither* like this?

Dither is my new word of the day. ditherditherdither.

You've got me giggling like a lunatic at the library.

-Silverkyst

6.) I have people looking a lot. 197 times, to be exact.

I use that one all the time. After NaNoWriMo I was messing around with the auto-summary on Word, seeing what the novel would look like cut down to 500 words. A hell of a lot of those words ended up being 'he looked' or 'she looked'.

Speaking of beta-reading, how soon do you want the bits you sent me back? I was hoping to have it finished by about Wednesday this week, but then I got a job. Hee.

You can take your time. I'm still working to finish the rest of Part I soon, so when that's done, I'll send it, but trust me, no huge rush. We still have to slog through the second part.

*sighs* I'm trying not to think of that very hard.

Dither is a pretty cool word. ;)

I'm not that great with grammer either... but I am pretty good at transitions and making a story flow. If you still need an extra pair of eyes, let me know.

Email me and I'll send you teh completed draft. *dances* Thank you for offering!

Still no stable internet. Some time next week I hope. I will very much like to read it in the future though!

Re: adverbosity and semicolonophobia, Hey, when you're famous, they just call it authorial style. Faulkner had problems with periods too.
-Silverkyst

Ooh! My condition has *names*. *grins* That feels better.

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