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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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i'm doing absolutely nothing productive
children of dune - leto 1
The Spam Report

My breasts and theoretical penii are no longer the object of enlargement. The New Blus is Seeking Other Promiscuous Singles, Tired of Cold Girls..., Lookng For a Hote Date and several variations thereof--sex-dating, sex-friendship, basically, the porn-only dating service. It started refreshing, but seriously, at three months running? Not so much with the interesting.

Though I am vaguely amused that tweaked out twinks now appears in a lot of subject lines, along with the usual virgin frat boys giving it up for rush. Sadly, this does not, at first, make me think spam, but ooh, someone wrote QaF fic! Then I remember that no one yet has titled anything like that and I get sad, because that would be a kick ass title.

Segue Into....

I've become worried, also, that 'tricking', 'twink' and 'twat' have moved into my active vocabulary list. It was weird enough during X-Men when I started calling everyone 'sugar'. But you can get away with that. I'm in Texas.

But really, there is no logical explanation for those three.

Interesting verbal footwork must occur when you call a coworker a twink.


"Twinkie! I want a twinkie!"

"Uh huh."

Yes, that's my idea of verbal footwork. I will never win awards for thinking on my feet.


Everyone is waiting for The Letter at work. It's to tell us where we will be once the transition of us into the new agency comes--to wit, employed or on the other side applying for food stamps. I'm not worried, mostly because I'm working on my pores and fine lines are the enemy I've been watching too many commercials about skin care. Or way, way, way too much Brian. It's entirely possible.

Exfoliating is my friend, though, as a scary number of products seem to suggest. At this point, I'm looking at sand speculatively, thinking of how much cheaper it woudl be just to get a lot of it and roll around in it for a while.

Oh God, I am bored.

Acutally, no, I'm avoiding my friendslist desperately. Everyone, except me and a shepherd girl in the hills of Tibet, is spoiled for 4.13 and 4.14, and I don't trust her and think she may have a screener hidden under her mattress. I realized my will was fading when I was reading obscure meanings into the way people phrased their intro to the spoilers.

I have a terror of it going bad. This is leftover from Smallville, where every time something good happened to Lex, you just *knew* that the world was going to end, figuratively. And frankly, Joss Whedon's shows didn't help with this one, and that was the literal version. Something will happen, and I will be writing long, long, epic Ben-hate fics, to soothe my ravaged feelings and because, frankly, it would be fun. Ben gets eaten by killer turtles! Ben falls loses all the money for rent and then they are almost evicted and he tries to die until an angel--no, wait, I know that story and it ended all schmoopy. *crosses off the list*

I'm really, really tempted to write end of the world QaF fic. What, other fandoms get to do it! They get apocalypses and demons and mutants and really cool special effect-type deaths and world-destroying disease. I see no reason not to send the entire cast to a nice refugee camp, where Brian trades sex for black market moisturizer and works out how to make condoms out of tree bark and bubble gum in his spare time.

...that's about as far as I got with this idea, it being Brian having sex for goods, which would kinda be just a really, really long PWP with creative sexual aids, but still. I could think of something.

I could.

WiP Community

Isn't it cool?

coowipp, the community to join to encourage you to finish your WiPs. I keep staring at it, thinking of all the brave people who are just committing themselves to finishing, and me, looking at my WiP and thinking, oh. God.


I was trying to explain to svmadelyn why I was having problems with this one WiP that I carry some extreme guilt about. I look at it and lose the will to live. This is after adding more to it, mostly because the place I want to get to, the part that I'm interested in, is still really, *really* far away.

And the fact that I'm not sure I can pull it off.

I'ts like--being overly ambitious? Which I suppose is better than being underambitious, but at least with under, you don't disappoint yourself, and The Yard just pisses me off on so many levels. Maybe it's the patience factor, or the fact that what I really want to do is take a week, sit down with it and a soundtrack and a coffee pot, and not move until I make myself get through this spot and go to the stuff that will move faster.

It all started with this one scene. Just one. It tempted me, like a big evil apple of shiny goodness, saying, come to me, write me, this is pretty and also, fun. Yes, like I believe that anymore, but still, it's there. It's right there, section 37, just *sitting* there, waiting to be written, and I look at it and think, that's a lot of sections away.

I need to go make cookies. Cookies make everything better.

*corrected for season numbers.

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Ben gets eaten by killer turtles!

LOL! I don't even watch this show (or know who Ben is) but I want to read that fic!

I want to, too. Big, scary turtles with sharp teeth that come out of the sewers of Pittsburgh, annoyed with all the condoms being thrown down the drain and hungry for blood.

I know. Insanity is so looming in my future.

I am not spoiled! ... at least, I don't think I am. Some of those story titles on bjfic.net are awfully fucking suspicious. *BEATS THEM* No screeners. No downloaded clips. NADA.

You should totally write End of the World QaF fic.

(Aw, man, my icons expired again.)

Okay, so I need to basically avoid all signs of fannish life for the next week and a half, right?

*breathes* I can do that. As long as burnitbackwards stops dancing on AIM, yelling I KNOW THINGS YOU DON'T! and waving temptation like a big gay flag.

Oh, how I hate her.

*bites nails* Nine days. Nine days. I can be that strong.

All my SPAM is for pyramid schemes for iPods

That would be a refreshing variation.

But I'm getting fond of all these virgin college boys getting experimental, too.

*ponders* Decisions, decisions.

*laughs weakly* This is me. Feeling your pain on The Yard. Except for me it's the goddamned stupid thing I started a year ago and now hate and hate and hate *kicks it*. I've not written a word on it, in oh say, FOREVER but every week I'm like "Yes. YEs I have to do this."

I just...*slaps and slaps and slaps story*

Ahem. But. AT any rate. You. The Yard. Seeing those two words together like this? Makes me do joyous, joyous backflips. I love that story like a...something loves some other thing. Honeybee loves pollen but without all of the weird sexual overtones implicit in that metaphor. I...am too tired to m ake any sense. But I am more excited than words can describe to hear that that story still lives. I'm so excited, I'll even do a pass of tumbling here, in your comments:

*does a tumbling pass, ending off on a back hand spring with a half twist*

This is me. Feeling your pain on The Yard. Except for me it's the goddamned stupid thing I started a year ago and now hate and hate and hate *kicks it*. I've not written a word on it, in oh say, FOREVER but every week I'm like "Yes. YEs I have to do this."

*mourns with you* It's a neverending nightmare. Never. Ending.

*does a tumbling pass, ending off on a back hand spring with a half twist*

I give you a nine-point-eight. *holds up card*

Also? This story will be the death of me. Death, I tell you.

I am not spoiled. I just barely saw 411 and 412 (vacation, you know), and I don't want to know what happens next. I am savoring the last two eps, before I marathon the entire season in a single week, because it's fun. *G*

What is this WiP you speak about? ::determinedly does not look at My Documents folder::

Whee! Unspoiledness!


WiPs are of the devil. Grrr.

Hmm. Did you ever see the movie King Rat? You make me realize what a Brian-like figure the hero was. He unofficially ran a POW camp, trading all kinds of favors -- even though he was a prisoner and not even an officer. Just because he was so damned alpha-esque. Sort of a straight version of Brian -- well, except for the slashy subtext, where he seduced this nicely slender British aristrocrat into the morally compromising position of being his second-in-command. But other than that? Very straight.

This message brought to you because inspiration can come from anywhere.

Huh. I think I have the book--at least, I recognize the title from recent memory. Now, scarily, I want to buy it on the strength of your description.

*g* I am just that influenceable.

I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this post. Funny and true, as all truly funny stuff is. Also, I'm unspoiled, yet deeply afraid.

Yes. I know *nothing* and I'm so freaked out that I keep worst-case scenarioing everything. Three ended too happy. I just have this horrible feeling they are going to do something--well. Bad.


I just skimmed that entry and read "I'm exfoliating my friend".

I've somehow managed to stay unspoiled for 313 and 314, though I actually *have* 313 on my harddrive, just waiting for my will-power to give in so I can watch it. My will-power is actually holding out pretty well, but my terror that I'll be inadvertantly spoiled before I can manage to watch it will likely beat it down, soon. ;)


*breathes* I can *do* this. You can too! Be strong!

But what if I get spoiled? Then I will *cry*. :(

I don't live in Tibet, and it's safe to read my lj! Because I don't even watch QaF. (I don't want to get sucked in. And cable boxes are evil.)

Of course, it would help if I actually posted anything in my lj. {g}


Do you *want* to be sucked in?

*twirls hair, looks very innocent*

It was weird enough during X-Men when I started calling everyone 'sugar'. But you can get away with that. I'm in Texas.

Real easy to get away with here.... (bama)

Forgot to mention my WIP...

Rare Trick...

it's not liking me... No way to have it finished by August. School and all, plus the not liking me.

But that's a cool idea. Might have to keep an eye out.

*nod* I looked at it and kept thinking, hmm. Then realized, August. So not going to happen.


Its So easy. half my friends have yet to notice I've been saying it.

Course, with the calling everyone dear and sugar and sweetheart, i doubt they ever will.

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