To make this fun, we'll split this into two categories--Things Jenn Likes, and Things She Doesn't. To cement my newfound irrational hatred of Ben, we shall just automatically place him under Things She Doesn't from now on, whether or not it is appropriate. Also, see icon! Courtesey of the marvelous tboy. Who rocks.
Everyone with me? Good. Right then. Onto the--whatever this is. Spoiler-safe through current episode.
In no order whatsoever.
Things Jenn Likes
Well, that's a lie, Brian first, obviously.
1.) Brian should forevermore be required to walk around armed. This is just a given. I'm not entirely sure why it took Cowlip so long to understand that Brian holding weaponry is pretty much a visual wet dream. In technicolor, even. But there it is. My fantasy of Brian and Justin becoming psychotic serial killers now has a great visual to go along with it. They shall start in Maine.
You know, sadly, I might have been a lot more supportive of Justin getting in touch with his gangsta side if he'd invited his boyfriend to come play with him.
I'm very interested in how Justin has been playing this one since Brian first voiced his protest. He knows how to kill a conversation, an argument, or a disagreement dead. Because Brian *wasn't* bashed, he can't understand. You protest? You're insensitive to his feelings. Brian's really dumb because he's in love and harbors some really extraordinary guilt and so falls for it. Every. Time. I'm guessing that Justin doesnt' try this tack on anyone else, because they'd slap his ass down. Yes, you were bashed, and you were hurt, and I'm sympathetic. But thinking you shouldn't carry *fucking heavy weapons* around for the fun of it isn't being insensitive to you. It's being, what's the word here--hold on, let me think--right. RATIONAL.
2.) Justin with a gun, while not quite hitting every single one of my erogenous zones, did some good things with my imagination. See "serial killer fantasy" above. Also, there is no surprise here that Justin and guns are this close to being an OTP. Not since Justin got his ass fucked the first time has that boy fallen in love so fast. You kinda saw it in his eyes last week, but this week, he was pre-orgasmic every time he looked at one. Which actually brings that entire handjob in the alley into amazing perspective. He was fucking the gun, and it was pretty, and disturbing, but disturbing, see above? Very hot. Our sociopathic old buddy Chris Hobbes, however, who seriously lacks some decent self-preservation skills (Chris, when people shave their heads? That's a sign they are Getting In Touch With Their Dark Sides. You don't watch a lot of TV, do you?), was the one that actually got to blow it. It's not like this wasn't pretty obvious going in. Pretty sexual phallic object? Meet Chris, who is repressed and needs humiliation. Justin pulling that trigger might have been less about being mad at Hobbs for all that beating stuff, but because he was getting jealous that Chris got all that gun's attention.
I'm a sick, sick girl.
It's just a curious thing. When your finger's that close to the trigger, when you've cocked it, when you have it shoved down someone's throat, that's about a second beyond the point where you should be thinking, okay, do I want to wear orange for the rest of my life? I kind of saw a lot of things going on there, but Justin freezing down like that was not expected. I expected him be enraged, beyond thought, beyond control, but Justin wasn't. He didn't pull the trigger, and I'm not sure he didn't for the right reasons.
Work with me on this one.
Justin *wasn't* enraged beyond thought, Chris *was* actually showing some kind of sense and *not* being an idiot spouting empty defiance, Chris was *submitting*, and that's when Justin cocked the gun, and that's when I stopped breathing. Because you can shoot someone in the heat of the moment, it happens all the time. Entire sections of the *law* are devoted to that. It could happen. Fingers slip on the trigger, rage goes out of control, blah blah blah. But it's another thing entirely to watch him humiliate himself while sucking off your gun and still think that shooting him is a good idea.
Right, Cody of the pithy phrases was screaming out his encouragement, but in the end, while Justin didn't pull the trigger, I can honestly say I started breathing again only when he walked away. Because that's the first time I actually believe he could have. And that it might not have bothered him all that much.
3.) Deb and Emmett are the Cutest Thing Ever. Yes, Emmett, your loft bears a disturbing resemblance to say, another loft we all know and love, but scarily enough, even more exhibitionistic. I had no idea that was possible. Yes, it must be lonely these days, and I am totally with you, what with Ted being an *utter coward* and Michael and Ben being creepy and well, you're not exactly a hanging out with Brian and ice cream kind of guy, are you? So Debbie, and it was cute. I love how they curled up together with the ice cream and the cuteness never ended there.
4.) Daphne makes us happy. She is against the guns, and really doens't like Cody, and Justin, really, think about this. You pick lousy friends. You will notice that Daphne is a pretty damn good radar, right? Okay, *pay attention*. You may no longer pick your own friends, I'm taking a vote tonight. Also, Cody giving all those superior and annoyed looks was *so not* the cute, and I am enternally amazed she did not kick his ass. Then again, she might know he's armed. And you know, sociopathic. So yay for self-preservation skills! Unlike a certain homophobic asshole mentioned in 2.).
Going to Brian was kind of cute. Brian's blank look was just funny. I'm guessing Young Women do not often wander around looking for him. Well, not straight ones, anyway, which is, in fact, still a shock to me, since I would be glued to his windows just to stare at him, but hey, that's just me.
5.) Brian's comments in Babylon are still making me hurt. He's justifying Justin before Justin does anything, because he believes Justin's going to do something incredibly stupid. The thing is, I was with him on that. He was going to. He didn't, but that was a hair fine line there. Brian always justifies whatever Justin does, and saying that three times fast is hard but doable. He would have. He would have justified and protected and probably lied through his teeth if that's what it took, and he always has, and owies. Owies, owies, owies.
I wonder, I mean, I *seriously* wonder now, what would have happened if the trigger had been pulled.
5.) I love watching Brian and Michael together. I'm actually kind of scared by it, since, well, OTP, but it's actually hitting me, that Michael is *fun* around Brian. Most of the time. I like them when they're playing together.
Things That Jenn Didnt' Like
1.) Here it is. Here's what I've been waiting for. My irrational hatred has *rationale*. Oh, Mr. You-Didn't-Go-To-Harvard-or-Yale and Don't-Know-Great-Literature, Mr. Oh-Comic-Books-Are-Juvenile, see? SEE? I AM A PROPHET IN MY OWN TIME! HATE HATE HATE!
Okay, let's step back.
That annoyed me on a lot of levels, not just because of the slapped look on Michael's face, though that was a really good start. I am not a Michael cheerleader, so actually getting me to feel bad for him isn't easy, but I did feel bad.
Michael writes comic books. Granted. To some, they are the lowest of the low, one step, perhaps, above fanfic. Let me look at you, Ben, and growl. But. He *is* a writer. And also, comic books require a certain clarity of plot and development of character or they wouldn't sell, no matter how many blowjobs we are talking about. If Michael says your story lacks plot, take a second and look at his comic sales, then take a second and think, hmm. Because auto-dismissive on the point of *education* just pisses me off in so many ways. Michael's sad little puppy in the apartment thing just ground my teeth together.
I have my eye on you, Ben. Oh yes, I do.
2.) Cody, if you could be more annoying, I would have you killed. Your hysteria, your weirdness, your sheer inability to get along in normal society--how is it that you are still alive? I am boggled. But I forgive a lot, because you gave Justin a gun, and Brian got to cuddle it, and really, I thank you. I still hate you, because you are nasty to Daphne creep me out in entirely non-hot ways, but still. Thank you.
3.) It's not that I don't understand how Mel feels. I'd be bitter too. I would be angry and bitter and resentful and probably react just as dramatically. But you know what I wouldn't do? Act like a fucking five year old. Yes, the world sucks. Yes, being female sucks. But that's their *kid* on the line, it's not just your ego's landmark court case. Being pissed at Lindsay because she gets that, understands that this is a hell of a lot bigger than just you--that's annoying. Get over it.
4.) Vic. Rodney? You made me unhappy. That was very not nice. I think I kinda know where you are coming from, but really, you had to know this would happen. Ask anyone. People always find out about the things you don't want them to find out about at the worst possible times. Refer to Justin in season two, with Ethan, and Michael, and ponder. Seriously. She's loud and brash and sometimes annoying, but she would sell her soul for you in a heartbeat, so consideration would *not* have killed you at all.
Ted didn't make any list. He wasn't around all that much.
I want more Ted and Brian. I want more Michael and Brian. Hell, I want more Brian. More Brian, Brian, Brian.