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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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blah blah anticharactercakes
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
After watching early season three and stopping before Ethan and Justin break up, I suddenly decided that it was a *great* idea to watch a row of those wonderful angsty B/J break-up vids that take so much of my harddrive in some kick of masochism. Yes, that was smart. I'm not sure where this entire 'punish yourself' thing came from, but this can't be good for my psyche.

See, I can yell at the TV when it's not Warioworld trying to suck my soul out.

For reference.



annaface's SR-71 Vid, My World, [Bad username: erinface"] with Coldplay's The Scientist and a rush of sisabetness that's like freaking *crack*. Oh, here, sit down and *have a really good screaming fit at the TV* why don't you? It's *Easter*.

Jesus, like I *need* to go through an anti-Justin phase. I *remember* my anti-Clark phase. It wasn't pretty. And I dedicated thousands and thousands of words to my--er. Not-happy-with-Clarkness. And I really can't think of how to get Justin into a lab to be experimented on by heartless scientists to relieve my feelings, either. The really depressing part is, I'm being *so freaking unfair*. And I don't even care.

Every damn time I run across a scene with Brian touching that trick's hair (what is that, the standard 'make me cry like a baby' bit? Every damn *time*.), I keep thinking, *right now* Justin better be like, falling over a crack in the sidewalk and breaking his hand or eating some really, really bad Chinese food or, I don't know, wearing socks that don't match.

God, I need something to do. Preferably something that *isn't* obsessing over the premiere. That, by the way, is taking *way too long* to start, 'kay? I'm going to have no fingernails left at this rate.

Also, I have eaten my weight in chocolate now. This should make me *mellow* dammit.

*sulking*


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Download this, if you haven't already. The first time I watched it, I think I blacked out from the Justin rage.

You've seen darlulu's Safe and Sound vid, right? That's another one that sends me into spiralling into depths of hate.

I'm much better now with the Justin rage actually, I think the hate meme from a few weeks back helped release a lot of anger issues :)) But yeah, the 301 hustler end scene will never stop being painful. I hope Justin has asthma attacks every day from Wolfram's fur.

Maybe you should write a fic where Brian dies and it's Justin's fault and have Michael gut him with a spoon. I was going to write that but then I'll actually have to have plot so I killed them both and the rage remains.

kitkatbyte's Stay vid actually made me feel for Justin for a while, and then I started listening to the lyrics from Brian's point of view and ended back at square one. Watching 120 King of Babylon dance kinda helps me though, it's hard to be mad at him when he's dancing, I've noticed.

Download this, if you haven't already. The first time I watched it, I think I blacked out from the Justin rage.

You're trying to kill me.

I'm downloading it now.

You've seen keewick's Safe and Sound vid, right? That's another one that sends me into spiralling into depths of hate.

Hit that one chased by Rhi's Acid and I pretty much want to curl up in a ball on the floor and cry my eyes out. They *hurt*. So. Damn. Much. The songs alone are on the Playlist of Angst.

I'm much better now with the Justin rage actually, I think the hate meme from a few weeks back helped release a lot of anger issues :)) But yeah, the 301 hustler end scene will never stop being painful. I hope Justin has asthma attacks every day from Wolfram's fur.

*hopeful* You think?

I have vague, mean-thoughts of Justin not finding out about the trick with Ethan and Brian wandering off to New York. Finding out in a really, really bad way. Like, Ethan tells him, casually, over chocolate.

*mulls*

kitkatbyte's Stay vid actually made me feel for Justin for a while, and then I started listening to the lyrics from Brian's point of view and ended back at square one. Watching 120 King of Babylon dance kinda helps me though, it's hard to be mad at him when he's dancing, I've noticed.

*blinks* I haven't tried that yet.

*worries*

Oh, this can't be good for future viewing. Just can't.

Have you watched it yet? Have you? Have you? Are you still alive?? Doesn't it hurt so much you can't breathe? Doesn't it make you want to string Justin by his balls and feed him to sharks bit by bit?

I have vague, mean-thoughts of Justin not finding out about the trick with Ethan and Brian wandering off to New York. Finding out in a really, really bad way.

HAHA! That makes me positively gleeful, uh- I mean, what an awful thing to suggest, Jenn! *shifty* erinface and I were discussing a fic she was was working on a while ago and we were talking about maybe breaking them up, and Brian maybe finding someone better...and Erinface was like, "So how do they get back together again?" And I was like, "Oh they have to?" And she was like, "Well.."

Life hard.

I have faith in S4 Justin. I think if you look past the embarrassment that is him and the Pink Posse, he is pretty decent in S4. Well, so far. I haven't read detailed spoilers about the later eps. If he ever dares to say Brian doesn't love him in S4, just once, he's dead.

Have you watched it yet? Have you? Have you? Are you still alive?? Doesn't it hurt so much you can't breathe? Doesn't it make you want to string Justin by his balls and feed him to sharks bit by bit?

It's cut out on me twice. I'm at sixty-five percent. And also, I hate, hate, hate dial-up.

But also, you are scaring me.

On the other hand, I survived Jessa's Final Dance and also, My World...barely.

HAHA! That makes me positively gleeful, uh- I mean, what an awful thing to suggest, Jenn!

Yes, the awfulness would know no bounds.

Still...Jsutin running off to New York in the middle of the night in a fit of temper has this huge appeal.

*shifty* erinface and I were discussing a fic she was was working on a while ago and we were talking about maybe breaking them up, and Brian maybe finding someone better...and Erinface was like, "So how do they get back together again?" And I was like, "Oh they have to?" And she was like, "Well.."

*grins* I sometimes read that Other Foot series at bjfic.net, to be reminded I'm still *way* too OTP, when I get freaked out by the realization that at the end of the story, no, they *aren't* getting back together.

I have faith in S4 Justin. I think if you look past the embarrassment that is him and the Pink Posse, he is pretty decent in S4. Well, so far. I haven't read detailed spoilers about the later eps. If he ever dares to say Brian doesn't love him in S4, just once, he's dead.

He. Would. Not. Dare.

I really need to do a remedial 66 viewing now. Like, really, really soon.

Hahaha *anticipates*

I really should change the disclaimer at the end in My World, I put the blame on the wrong person. Poor Ethan, so misunderstood.

Write it, man. Be mean to Justin. SOMEONE has to do it. All the fics are about Brian pain, where is the Justin torture, where?

I'm still all OTP <333 over them too, but I want Justin to crawl, I feel like I've been cheated of the crawlage by Cowlip. That was just too easy, after what he's done. *bitter*

Have you been reading spoilers at all? There is one particularly dodgy one, but I'm waiting to see it for myself before I condemn him to the 47th level of hell.

Justin didn't know any better so don't be too hard on him. He was all PSTD and remember how he looked the night of the Rage party in the backroom. He was so broken hearted, I'm sure if Ethan hadn't shown up they would have worked it out. Take your animosity out on Ethan. He deserves it for having the worst timing of anybody on the planet. Justin's been good since he came back... notice all the blow jobs he's given Bri. Chocolate is good until it wears off and then it leaves me cranky. Sounds like the sugar buzz has worn off. I haven't had mine yet, I'm waiting for the stuff to go on sale half price.

I know. I need to watch the rest of season three again and cool the rage.

Chocolate is good until it wears off and then it leaves me cranky. Sounds like the sugar buzz has worn off. I haven't had mine yet, I'm waiting for the stuff to go on sale half price.

Me and Cadbury are going to bond some more. I bought indecent amounts for Child, who has eaten far too little.

Mmm. Cadbury.

Justin didn't know any better so don't be too hard on him

Sorry, just can't buy that. He knew he was lying, cheating, sneaking around. Taking Brian's money and living in his home while cheating on him. He knew it was wrong. Leave first, new man after. There is no excuse for the other way around.

Because of that, Brian's comment in 302 about paying for Justin's tuition always seemed so pointed, and so right (though it seemed to fly right over Justin's head.) "A deal's a deal." I'm not saying Brian never did anything wrong, but Justin enforced rules that Brian (who isn't one to compromise) conformed to to keep him in his life, and Justin broke each and every one of them himself.


But... but... but... he's a kid. He's a kid who suffered and was hurt and was needing love and nurture and attention and all he got was Brian Love-Doesn't-Really-Exist-It's-All-Bullshit-So-Let-Me-Fuck-You-Up-The-Ass-And-Be-Grateful-You-Have-A-Roof-Over-Your-Head Kinney (who I love dearly too, since he's as messed up as Justin is).

Yeah. I know. Usually I have better arguments. Chalk it up to being an unashamed Justin apologist. Or tipsy. Or tired. Or all three.

Off to bed.

I'm a Justin apologist too, and I'd show it with my pretty new icon that Cait made except I haven't uploaded it yet.

Anyway.

Justin issues. I'm in the PTSD-camp. I believe that he was still trying to understand Brian and had difficulty doing that, which is why he missed all of Brian's "I love you but I'll never say it" signs. I also use him being young as an excuse for not understanding why Brian couldn't be manipulated, since Justin seemed to be able to dazzle everyone else around him. And then came Ethan, who gave him everything that Justin was wishing for from Brian, so he fell for it. The problem there was not that Justin was getting what he wanted, but that he wasn't getting it from the right person. He would never have left Ethan so easily if this were true.

I love Justin; I think he's strong and brave and smart, and I'll always defend him because of my love. I identify with Brian more, but my Justin-love will always be strong.

Yeah, I think I'm pretty much in the PTSD camp too, in a lot of ways. I really think that they did him a huge disservice in not insisting on sending Justin to a therapist once the bashing was over. Brian knew he needed help: his going to talk to that trick/shrink was proof of that, and the way Jennifer turned Justin over to Brian's care is even more proof that she knew something was wrong. The fact that she knew that her son was fucked up and she didn't send him to therapy, but to his lover is criminal in my eyes (although I was happy that he was back with Brian, but he should have had therapy on top of that). She send him to therapy when she suspected that he was gay, but not when he was nearly killed. Way to be a good mother, Jenn! :P

I love Justin. This poor kid has gone through hell in a handbasket and I will always defend him. No matter what.

Here we go again :)) Oh man, someone should just upload a Brian Apologist log we can c/p replies from, it's like the debate that outlived God. Actually I think Justin purposely did the wrong thing to hurt and punish Brian, and he felt that since (to him) Brian doesn't care, then he doesn't have to care either (because he is blind, deaf and vaguely brain-damaged). :|

someone should just upload a Brian Apologist log

Maybe but in this case I'm not apologising for Brian. I'm talking about Justin only. Brian has plenty of his own flaws. But looking at this period of time I just don;t see any excuse for Justin's behaviour. PTSD or whatever, fine. Can't read Brian, fine. Want Brian to say "ILY" (even though you haven't said it to him). Okay. It's fine for him to want all those things or feel that way or whatever. It's not fine to lie and cheat and break all the rules and then try and place the blame all at Brian's feet.

I would have had so much more respect for him had he just said, "I can't take the way things are going. I need more than you can give right now I want to be apart from you." and then moved out and slept around (in that order.)

Yeah dude, I know, up to my eyeballs with Justin issues as well. I used the term "Brian apologist" only cos I don't want to use "Justin Ragers" when I've finally managed to work myself down to the point where I can see him on screen and not want to stab his eyes out. Happy place, happy place.

I agree with you completely. I don't really buy the age card or the PTSD card, and when you take them away, he's just a really selfish/self-absorbed person who is used to getting his way and can bring himself to thoroughly lie to and hurt someone he claims to love so much out of spite. It's awful and his only saving grace is that Brian loves him. I know there are people who feel like Justin is good because he makes Brian feel, even if it is pain, at least it's a feeling, but Brian never asked for that so I find it hard to buy that as well.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

Oh man :)) Annaface and I have battled through this for so long. I think I hit my peak with the Justin rage after seeing Rhi's Acid vid. I was seriously blinded by how angry I was with Justin. Then, as Anna mentioned, The Nothing Song vid came soon after and it was all just lots of anger.

I think the hate meme helped me too a little. Lately, I've been feeling a lot more warm feelings towards Justin and I hadn't felt like that since watching early S2 for the first time. And, making The Scientist vid was pure therapy for me.

I'm trying everything I can not to feed the anger or get me back to that place, but I'll never favor Brian and Justin equally. Brian will always be number one in my heart. But now at least, I'm not doubting their OTP status. Cos, for a while there I was convinced Justin was undeserving of any love Brian gave him. Now, I really believe they're meant for each other and I can see how each complements the other. That's what really got me out of the rage stage. I really needed to believe that Justin loved him and I finally do.

The really depressing part is, I'm being *so freaking unfair*. And I don't even care.

Yeah, but you do recognize it, which is a step in the right direction.

I love Justin, pure and simple. I could give logical reasons for why that is, but that would just sound like I'm telling you you don't have a right to feel angry with him, and that's not what I want to do. This is why I tend to keep my Brian rage to myself, because when I'm feeling that irrationally angry, I don't want anyone telling me why they think I shouldn't feel that way, and with all the Brian apologists in the fandom, that would be the inevitable outcome. My Michael rage is a little more welcome, though I've been cool with Mikey since paddies said something in a discussion on my LJ that changed the way I viewed him.

My goal is to eventually be cool with all of the regulars, including the short-term regulars like Dr. Dave (whom I've never hated, so that's cool) and Ethan (whose personality will always be an issue for me, but I don't think he's evil). Right now, I'm stuck on Ted, whom I adored in first season when he was so deadpan, but who has grown progressively less interesting and more pathetic, and Blake, whom I don't necessarily dislike, but who really doesn't catch my interest. I still have rocky spots with most of the characters, but they tend to be more related to my own hangups than anything.

On a completely other note, are you doing the Remix this year? You could always obsess about who's rewriting your story and whether or not it will suck while you wait for the premiere. *G*

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