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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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Christmasy fragment, take two
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Okay, first off. I missed it and I apologize, but LJ never sends me birthday notices! Darn it to heck and back.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY lanning!

I'm a big, goofy, Christmasy girl. The house is alight, Christmas cookies will happen this week if it requires hostage taking to get the ingredients, and I'm in the spirit one way or another.

In honor of the season, my first, and only I think, X-Men Christmas fic written and posted serially two years ago--er, this week, I think, or close to it. I still like it. I was very high on pain meds when I wrote it. Very, very high.

Happy Little Sounds -- Logan/Rogue, and the most uses of the f word in a single story I've ever managed. Even I'm impressed with my ability to degrade the English language.

Logan, it seems, fears elf-suits like no one's business. *grins*

For Smallville.

I posted this last year in my diary--it's just a silly snippet, but you might enjoy it. Very slightly altered from original by about three words or so. Plain goofiness. Really.



Christmas Bells

He couldn't have possibly agreed to this. It was simply--

"Mr. Leeeeex, Amy pulled my hair!"

Unbelievable.

Small hands--small, *sticky* hands--were buried in what had been a very nice pair of slacks. His third pair this afternoon. He probably should have taken the hint at the loss of the second and given up to jeans--thing was, he had reputation to maintain.

A tiny red face stared up at him, mouth working, and Lex tried to think of something to say. 'Kill the little bitch" was probably inappropriate, and he didn't know the going rate on paying off bullies. Was fifty still sufficient or had inflation changed it? He had a spare truck to bribe with.

"Liddie!" One of the women detached themselves from the group currently hiding just behind the empty fireplace, taking a step toward him. By the resemblance, he'd guess the mother. "Leave nice Mr. Luthor alone! Go play!" Finger pointed toward the variety of small destructive creatures currently turning Lex's living room into what appeared to be a small war. Small, *sticky* war. With cookies.

Liddie frowned menacingly at her mother and looked back up at Lex. There was nothing natural about this situation. Nothing.

Four hours ago, he would have laughed at the very thought. Three hours and fifty-six minutes ago, he'd been on the phone, with Clark doing his wonderful impression of a dying puppy needing a last wish granted.

At this rate, Lex was going to get a reputation for being a sentimentalist, and the thought alone made him wince.

"Run and go--pull her hair." It was the best he could do, and tried to remember what exactly you were supposed to say to small children. Somewhere in the back of his mind were some faint memories of being told to ignore bullies, but thing was, Lex had tried that approach.

There was a two inch scar and four months of therapy to pretty much say 'fuck that' to the concept. Not to mention twenty one years as his father's son. Lionel Luthor was the ultimate bully, and ignoring him had gotten Lex a lot of crappy places, Smallville being the latest of them all.

Liddie's face lit up, and Lex got a particularly warm feeling of accomplishment, rather like when he'd destroyed the chem lab at his first boarding school. With a little skip, she turned away, and Lex watched her stealthily approach a small brunette with badly permed hair.

"Lex, what did you tell her?"

Lex wiped the smile off his face and tried to look stern. Bored. Annoyed. Anything but amused.

"The usual thing. Ignore bullies and stand up for yourself and be a good American."

Oddly enough, he got a skeptical look from Clark and felt the smile quivering on his mouth, just trying to escape. Oh no, there was no way in hell he was going to enjoy this, even a little.

A high shriek from the playgroup nearest the door got everyone's attention, and Lex watched in unconcealed satisfaction as the brunette went screaming for her mommy. Liddie remained standing in uncontested control of the floor.

Mental note--hire her when she graduated from college.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I think it might say something about your trust issues, Clark." Liddie had joined the other children at the blocks, all of whom watched her in awe. Definitely hire her. "I'd like you to remind me exactly why I said I'd host this."

"Good publicity for LexCorp." Clark looked smug. It was an excellent look for him, too.

"Huh."

"Friendliness with the locals."

"Yes, there's that."

"I promised something, didn't I?"

Lex smiled, taking a drink from the glass of--God help him, he was drinking straight juice. There had to be vodka around here somewhere.

"Yes, you did."

"I was desperate." He was starting to sound desperate too. And that, too, was a good look for him.

"I know." Apple juice was atrocious.

"How many cars do you have again?"

"Five."

Clark sighed.

"I have to wash them *all*?"

Lex had an image. T-shirt. Water. Clark. Soap. More water. More soap. Mmm.

"Definitely."

"You have professionals to do that, you know."

Lex let his smile widen just a little.

"I know."



Another gratitous and completely unnecessary post. But I'm drinking poor man's mocha--one cup of coffee, one package of hot chocolate mix, one spoonful of sugar.

Oh yeah. Bring it on.


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"Run and go--pull her hair." It was the best he could do, and tried to remember what exactly you were supposed to say to small children. Somewhere in the back of his mind were some faint memories of being told to ignore bullies, but thing was, Lex had tried that approach.

*snickers* Oh, yes, Lex and I have the same approach to child-watching, I see.

"I have to wash them *all*?"

Lex had an image. T-shirt. Water. Clark. Soap. More water. More soap. Mmm.


I second that "mmm." Dare I hope we might get a follow-up for this year? I promise I've been very, very good. From the right point of view. ;-)



You know I read this before on the diary and loved it. Read it again and it still makes me giggle. Especially

"Run and go--pull her hair."

I can *so* see Lex give this advice too.

Heeeee! This was just as much fun as the first time I read it. I love your humor Christmas fics oh-so much.

Somewhere in the back of his mind were some faint memories of being told to ignore bullies, but thing was, Lex had tried that approach.

There was a two inch scar and four months of therapy to pretty much say 'fuck that' to the concept.


Awwww... poor Lil!Lex. But the thing is, he learns from experience. Smart and Sexy. *purrrr*

The "pull her hair" line is great.

But, it's the "definitely hire her" line that is true brilliance.

Thanks for digging it out from last year. Really enjoyed, sticky hands, wet Clark images, and all.

*clapclapclap*

Yay!

Now I have a mental image of Clark washing cars. And getting all wet. And hugging Lex to get him wet too. And...

...never mind. :)

Wettshirtclarkyummyfestivewheee!

Okay, first off. I missed it and I apologize, but LJ never sends me birthday notices! Darn it to heck and back.

I don't know when, but I know that LJ stopped this since it was causing too much load on the servers. Try these links instead:

http://www.livejournal.com/portal/
http://www.livejournal.com/birthdays.bml



Mental note--hire her when she graduated from college.

Best advice from Lex ever, yay! Oh, and wet, soapy Clark is also very yummy eye-candy. ;-)
 

"Run and go--pull her hair." It was the best he could do, and tried to remember what exactly you were supposed to say to small children.

Hee! Ah yes, Lex Talionis, eye for an eye, hair for a hair. And I don't think Lex feels a lot of sympathy for the poor kids getting their hair pulled. (Look kid, at least you've *got* hair). Hee. Future LexCorp members. Building company loyalty from the getgo.

-Silverkyst


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