Seperis (seperis) wrote,

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balkinazation in qaf

The thing is, I've managed to be frustrated at three differnet topics in two differnet forums, and it's all mixed up in my head now.

Te did this blog entry--God, two years ago?--on the Balkinization of fandom, and please God, let me have spelled that correctly. If she were a nice Te, she'd move it to her LJ, because I seriously got a kick out of the logic.

Oh. Fannish whimpering. Yeah. Cutting now. The lack of organization and rambling is deliberate. No, really. *Really*.

I agreed at the time. A part of me still does. Two fandoms ago, I participated in a fandom split--actively encouraged, worked at, enjoyed, even. Complete with sockpuppets and flamefests, fic bashing, charcterization bashing, sekrit emails, private emails forwarded, private emails posted publicly, all the good stuff. We were a small fandom, but we made up for it in sheer levels of really frighteningly antisocial behavior. The split caused the deletion of our home list--yes, deletion, two years of history or close to it--and the rise of several competing lists in its place. Most failed. Ours didn't. Another one didn't. We wanted quality. They wanted shit and quantity. They got it. And it kept it off our list. To this day, I don't see the bad in that part. The aftershocks I could have lived without. Because in some ways, those haven't stopped.

Balkanize. I liked the term then and I like it now. The split when agreement's impossible and you get to that point where even seeing their name in an email makes you nauseous. Yes. *That*. Where you'll carry the grudge until the day you leave Fandom forever and ever and ever and take up productive work in a quilting circle, never to mention your fannish activities again. The people you'll be ranting about on your *deathbed*.

I mean, seriously, who doesn't get why I love LJ so damn much? It's like having a mailing list where you get to choose everyone who gets to post in it. Well, almost. But close enough. And I'm not saying the days of big mailing lists are dead or anything, though I don't see a time I'll be dragging myself back to participate in the near future. That's just me. I like the fact right now, I can pick and choose everyone I want to listen to and completely not be aware of anyone else. And it's so *easy*.

What's actually getting my undivided attention is the concept of pre-emptive balkinization, or the split in fandom before there's any actual meaingful interaction. Or, why QaF is making me want to spend quality time thinking, this is new and strange. Or maybe it isn't.

LJ is where I started in QaF--I don't know how active it was before I jumped in, because I haven't really studied it that much. All my early reading was off the archives--I have social-freaking-out issues with boards. I stayed in LJ because that's where I was comfortable and relatively secure and since at the time, I didn't know where the QaF people were LJ-wise, it felt vaguely safe to post here and not be noticed until I felt more comfortable with what I was doing. Then other QaFLJ people showed up and it was all squee-y and I forgot all about the boards and settled down to do what I've been doing for almost a year--squee and post and squee and post.

So. Though I can't be entirely deadly certain this is a fully accurate portrayal, we have two QaF fandoms in a way--the older one based off of messageboards and the newer one, LJ-specific. I also can't speak for how much crossover there is between the two--I know some LJers post on the messageboards and some have for a long time, and some board members have LJs now or did before and are participating in the LJ-culture of QaF.

My first response to anti-LJ backlash is to wonder, why do you care? And also, screw it. Just not publicly. Because while I'm rarely nice, I'm not actually out for blood every day of the week, either, and I come from a fine tradition of passive-aggressive private griping. It works for me. Screw the entire Be Upfront About Your Dislikes thing. I'm not. I don't. I won't very often. Except now.

I hate the concept of entitlement--I've ranted on this before and I will again. I hate Great Fannish Pronoucements About How Things Should Be, because they make me contrary, even when I totally agree, which is just sick and sad. I hate being told what I should be writing, because then I think how great it would be if Stockwell fucked Brian and nag soundczech about it until she finally smothers me virtually in my sleep. I really, really hate the idea that if I rec in my LJ or on my webpage, that's some kind of offense to the author if I don't email them as well. I also hate nutella, but so far, few have jumped on my Nutella Will End Civilization bandwagon. Bastards.

Right, where was I?

I was venting out. Just ignore me until I stop feeling insecur-ized. Instead, I'll compose odes to why Brian/Stockwell should be my new OTP.
Tags: fandom: queer as folk
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