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delicious beef stew
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
So this is my non-foodie-compliant 1.5 hour stew recipe. It's for anytime you desperately want stew but want to make it fast, easy, and cheap. All but the one hour simmering can be done in stages ahead of time. This one can take me a week if I really spread it out.

I'm mentioning this today because I just made it and it's fresh in my memory.



Lazy Beef Stew

Ingredients
1 lb beef (any beef not ground)
2-2 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp salt (or 1 Tb, I don't know your life)
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder or crush some garlic, whatever.
4 cups of broth or four cubes of bouillon with four cups of water
1 cup of milk
6 potatoes (best choice: potatoes on sale)
1 onion
2 carrots
2 stalks of celery
1 can of corn (alternate: frozen)
1 can of peas (alternate: frozen)
1 can of stewed or chopped tomatoes (with chilis for a kick)

Instructions

1.) Make four cups of beef bouillon in microwave. 5 minutes max.

2.) Pour cup of milk and set within max reach range from primary burner of use.

3.) Cut your beef to half inch square types or pentagons or some shit.

No, put down the knife: use scissors like a civilized person. You're welcome.

4.) Mix flour, salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder (NOT WITH CRUSHED GARLIC ALTERNATIVE) into large ziploc bag. Add meat, seal and shake.

5.) Pour about a quarter cup of oil in large soup pot/tureen/thing and set heat at around 4-6 (mediumish) and wait five minutes. Add beef enough to keep separate and set timer for three minutes. Flip and three minutes. Remove to bowl nearby somewhere or plate.

You'll note beef gets smaller. At the first flip add more beef and simplify your life already. This should take you fifteen minutes or less.

6.) While doing the beef thing, your bouillon should be done. Take it out.I

7.) Cut up your potatoes into sixths or eighths and place in microwavable bowl with enough water to cover them. Cover with plastic wrap and microwave for roughly six minutes.

(You can't do this with scissors. Not yet: give me time.)

8.) Cut up any vegetables that need cutting and open cans that need opening. Reserve for [spoiler].

9.) Your beef better be done by now.

10.) Add about two tablespoons of butter into beefy oil and mix mix mix, scraping the bottom of the pan to get the beefy goodness.

11.)Don't even look at the cornstarch; we're doing this old school.

12.) Get your ziploc of flour. Add to oil while stirring rapidly. Keep adding until it makes a non-liquid mass that repulses you on a primal level. Add a cup of bouillion while stirring rapidly. It turns liquid and then solid like the blob.

13.) Don't be afraid. KEEP FUCKING STIRRING LIKE IT IS THE BLOB AND YOUR LIFE IS AT STAKE.

14.) Add second cup of bouillon. It holds liquidy form for longer, good; DO NOT STOP STIRRING. With your free hand, retrieve the milk and dump it in. KEEP STIRRING. If you stop it will become tiny horrible solid grease and flour balls floating in a liquidy mass, it's horrific.

15.) Keep adding bouillon until your liquid is the consistency you want and then take it another liquidy notch down; remember some of this will boil off and keep slowly thickening.

16.) Don't stop stirring.

17.) Add meat while you are still stirring.

18.) SPOILER TIME! Add non-potato vegetables while stirring. Including the crushed garlic if that's how you do. While stirring.

19.) ...didn't I tell you to keep stirring?

20.) Add potatoes and keep stirring

21.) Put on lid and set timer for one hour. You can stop stirring now.

21.) In an hour, eat.

Alternatives

Switch up the vegetables, add mushrooms, go crazy!

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