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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

i really have nothing better to do but rec music
children of dune - leto 1
I've talked about how I have to do mandatory playlist updates to avoid the most terrible of all problems for someone who uses music like recreational drugs to get a good high; too long, my ear and taste harden and it gets hard to get into anything new.

The first and best way is going on a vid-watching kick in any fandom I'm vaguely conversant with or involves hot people and if possible, leather. Fanvidders are revolutionaries when it comes to this; they can and have taken a song I thought I hated, created a visual storyline and theme for it, and suddenly it works for me; I understand it. This also has the benefit of expanding that liking into all music like it, which is why I have an Amazon Unlimited Subscription to avoid dying in poverty surrounded by terabyte of music files.

The second and chancier way is to use TV shows that have someone on staff who has at least a vague inkling--not understanding, they're not fanvidders and so I have to lower my expectations appropriately, just an inkling--that it's just not just combining music with pretty moving pictures.

(I mean, you're not going to get a [personal profile] sisabet level piece of masterclass art here. I don't expect them to be able to vid Brian Kinney and the cast of Queer as Folk's season three plotline to "Whiskey for my men and beer for my horses" and convince you it's the only song that could possibly fit plotline and theme. If you haven't seen season three Queer as Folk or know who Brian Kinney is, you cannot appreciate how terrifyingly sincere I am when I say that.

Unrelated: is there a word that encompasses the concept of 'stockholm syndrome' but with vidders? Just curious.)

However. It does work. Sometimes. So the playlist below is mostly the result of multiple Bones marathons, the latest season of Lucifer and Another Life. Oh, and apparently Hawaii 5-0.

music!Collapse )

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anyone awake? need a reality check
children of dune - leto 1
This survey showed up on my dash: Right Wing Authoritarian Survey

My--possibly utterly insane and/or ultra-dense tumblr response: read here

Alternately, I'm putting the text of my response under the cut.

survey on right wing authoritarianismCollapse )

Like, yeah, I get this is a right wing authoritarian tendency survey but...to answer half these questions with any kind of accuracy, you have to already be in a very narrow (very white) Christian Protestant demographic that already is right wing authoritarian (the atheist question alone was ridiculous, but 'homosexuals' and 'gays' gave it that 'oh God what' touch). I'm a white Christian and I can't answer several of the questions as written with any degree of accuracy because of the base assumptions of the questions which is either a.) utterly foreign to me or b.) repulsive is an understatement like you have no idea.

So those familiar with surveys: am I just not getting the methodology here on what it's doing?

Note: I took the Dark Triad test and I'm glad to report my psychopathic tendencies are in the bottom two percent, my narcissism in the eleventh percentile, and my Machiavellian is around the 66th which seems not too worrying but to be fair, I really liked The Prince.

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watching another life on netflix and--huh
children of dune - leto 1
Spoilers if you haven't watched, but for the record ,I have yet to work out what that title is supposed to refer to.

another life: a brief slightly spoilery intro if you're on the fenceCollapse )
another life, warnings, spoileryCollapse )
another life, really spoilery about ep one but up to ep sixCollapse )

I'm not willing to promise anything--The Magicians broke me of that shit--but it's definitely interesting sci-fi and I'm liking the characters. If you're jonesing for some spaceship disaster, this is for you. And you know, the earth stuff might get interesting? It could happen.

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media life update
children of dune - leto 1
Watching Bones Season 6, episode 22 again:

bones is totes my jamCollapse )

In other news, I acquired Jupiter Ascending for my first watch since the theatre and good God this movie is fun. I also got Pride & Prejuidce & Zombies and so recommend it right now

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hope can come from super unlikely places
children of dune - leto 1
So I got an Amazon Prime Store Card, because if you're going to sell your soul, you should be getting a 5% return. For various reasons, I have avoided getting a credit card for some time, but here we are.

However, this is not what this entry is about; it's about what happened when I went to look at Amazon Pantry (again, my soul? Bought for excellent prices), and on the Pantry home page on the top of the left nav, I saw this option: Pay with SNAP EBT in NY. This also applies to AmazonFresh.

I screamed then called [personal profile] lillian13 as the only person available because I knew she'd be excited that I was excited no matter how non-verbal I was. I was right (thank you bb!). Because this is--like a dream come true.

(I have no idea how long that's been an option, so maybe I am late with my excitement, but whatever.)

I'm not going to argue the good/evil of amazon, large corporations, whatever, because I don't disagree and even if I did I'd lose the arguments. I will argue, however, is that we take the positives when we get them because God knows they don't happen often, and this is one time where capitalism and greed and power are actually of benefit to marginalized populations.

Specifically, online food shopping for those using EBT cards. As in, if you live in NY in a food desert or are elderly or disabled or have poor access to transportation or it's not feasible to easily reach grocery stores and you get SNAP, you can order real actual food be brought to your home. And if we are lucky and the profits are good, it could be expanded, and other companies will have to do the same, because Amazon is huge and powerful and hungry for all the money and by God, they will not let Amazon eat all the SNAP pie. (And I really should have paused and thought about it when I realized Amazon accepts HSA cards.)

Predatory convenience stores with ridiculous markups, meat truck scams, everyone who preys on the poor to get their EBT benefits, I see numbers on their days and they're approaching negative and I only wish I could see their evil faces when they no longer have people to swindle. Fuck, people will be able to get the best deals with comparison shopping instead of depending on the single store they can reach.

(Goodbye judgmental assholes in grocery stores who shame and judge people on benefits and what they buy; I hope you stamp your feet and whine every day and please, please die still mad about it.)

I am way too excited about this, but--today, New York, tomorrow, maybe everywhere.

ETA: I forgot to link to the page about it: Amazon: Pay Wih SNAP EBT in NY Apparently this applies to Amazon Pantry, Amazon Fresh, and Amazon itself.

According to the FAQ, this is part of a online pilot program run by the USDA--the most terrifying department in the Federal government and yeah I am including the FBI and CIA--for EBT cardholders. This is goddamn amazing. This is actually happening.

While exploring, I also found Amazon Prime discount for EBT recipients and those with Medicaid. This seems to be across the board, so if anyone has family or friends on Medicaid or receiving SNAP or TANF, you might send them this link.

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slingtv and firetv together!
children of dune - leto 1
Okay, I meant to do this earlier:

Early Prime Day really good deal: Fire TV Stick 4K with Alexa Voice Remote for $25 off the price bringing it to 24.99.

The reason I'm posting this, however, is that with purchase, you also get $45 SlingTV credit, or $15 dollars per month for three months off a SlingTV subscription. That means you get SlingTV for ~$10 a month for three months, which is a hell yes.

Also, can't lie: I've had a Roku and used the native apps on three SmartTVs for streaming, and Fire TV out performs them all. Also, FireTV takes voice commands through all Alexa devices and I like feeling like a second class despot lounging on my couch while commanding others to entertain me. That's just how I roll.

This deal also applies to:
1.) Fire TV Cube, $119.00
2.) FireTV Recast, now $100 off bringing it to 129.99 and the lowest it's ever been.


Fire TV Stick with Alexa Voice Remote for $25 off the price, bringing it down to $14.99.

Again, not my primary: free with purchase is two months of HBO Go, value $30.

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so this happened and it was a thing
children of dune - leto 1
Yesterday, I finally fulfilled a long standing (aka three to five months) dream of making my DD-WRT router my primary router and gateway and turn my home into open source nirvana. It was beautiful. I had internal DNS, I could access all local LAN IP addresses with $myitem.idlewilde.home, I got to micromanage my device settings as has not been done in this universe since the fourth-fifth day of Creation itself (not saying this was on par with "Let there be light" but it was definitely higher up than say, creating goddamn mosquitoes). I even had ntopng running to stare at shit like flows and random numbers that mean something (what, who can say?) and assign everyone not just their very own IP address but device type. I could ssh into this sucker and edit any config file I wanted so suck it, Netgear. It. Did. Everything.

Except connect reliably to the internet.

(Those who have known me less than five years are like "oh, that's sad" or "fuck, that's hilarious" (or both! BOTH ARE LEGIT). Those who have known me greater than five are wondering what I set on fire this time. I didn't, but I did overclock my router's CPU so yes, legit worry. Apparently they don't have much in teh way of heatsinks and kicking up their transmit power can be sketchy.)

You're wondering what went wrong? I literally don't know and neither does any DD-WRT forum or anywhere google reaches. I am not yet at searching the Tors but come on, it's a close thing.

However, I do know one thing that went wrong around eight to ten this morning: my modem, for reasons that pass understanding, just dead refused to recognize it anymore. And even after frantically replacing the DD-WRT modem with my regular old normal not-hackable netgear one, it still refused to recognize it and kept trying to use my computer's MAC addrews instead of its own to connect which really didn't work (please don't ask why, it just apparently happens?). So I gave up and called my ISP for a reset of the modem, which according to google over mobile data (as that was all I had), modems do this. Which is true; they do. Or more specifically, some do provided they have those settings and what not and your ISP has really strict equipment restrictions so their users can't make a mess of their network, aka basically protect the network from people like me, which under the circumstances I'm seeing their point but still protest on principle.

My ISP, however, has no special settings, configs, etc; my modem was just being a dick.

Tech girl and tech guy were baffled: we all gave up and tried everything then did everything in different order.

Tech: Okay--unplug ethernet cable from modem first, then router, then unplug modem--no, router! Then modem. Then wait ten seconds then plug in ethernet--no, turn on modem, turn on router, then ethernet cable to modem and router while clucking like a chicken.
Tech: Okay, unplug router ethernet first, then stand on one leg while reciting the alphabet backward--

X number of power cycles (as above) and three or four remote resets later, it--started working. For no reason. Me and tech were stunned.

Me: ...I have internet. Google is opening. THIS IS HAPPENING.
Tech: You're kidding. *checks something* How?

After thanking him for his help (I heard something not unlike a joker laugh as I hung up so hopefully, he's okay), I DNS flushed my laptop three times, restarted it and cleared all network profiles before risking logging in to the router and--there is literally no goddamn reason. I checked the modem diagnostics and my router settings and logs and...yeah. This isn't the first time I've changed my primary router, or even the first time I've switched to an open source one (though the last time was only for testing).

So I've been casually looking around and actually, there are lots of reasons this could have happened, various scenarios that are perfectly possible, but none are actually possible in this case This is because generally, to get these kind of disastrous network results, I would actually need to know a lot more about networks (while at the same time still knowing shit but sure I know everything) to pull it off. It's not quite thousand years of typewriter monkeys and Shakespeare but like, a minimum of a D in a networking class that I napped through level, and I haven't taken a networking class yet.

So that made me humble. I know now some things are beyond my ken, or at least cannot be learned by poking configs to see what happens. I am wiser.

Then I found an email exchange I had with Batman on open source routers a couple of months ago.

(Note: Batman is BFF's husband who has a masters in math and CS and is working on his CS PhD and interns at google along with working full time. He's legit the smartest person I've ever met, can explain literally anything forever, and makes you feel smart while learning.

I'm actually not kidding; ask him a question and not only does he never, ever, even by accident imply you were dumb for not knowing or you can't understand the answer, but makes you feel super smart for asking and he'll reflexively work out how you need it explained no matter how many times you're like "...what?"

I call him Batman to remind myself not to call him every time something goes wrong (and because he's crazy smart, yeah). You do not call him for a script that won't run any more than you'd call Batman for a jaywalker. That way I don't end up with him on speed dial when I'm going through a coding phase.)

Anyway, I offered him one of my routers preflashed with OpenWRT (like DDWRT but even harder to understand and configure but much prettier interface) so he can play with it and destress from all the PhDing he's doing. He emailed me back and I guess I skimmed because in the second paragraph, I just caught a very important offer for me.

Networking books. Not just any networking books, but grad student in CS and math networking books with possibly his notes in them and an excuse to call him and ask so many questions because when Batman says 'if you need help with jaywalkers I'm here for you', that's different.

(I'm not going to be like, presumptuous or entitled here. I'll offer to make them dinner and pop out the network paraphernalia over coffee and crumb cake. Maybe like a lot. They're close by, it wouldn't be that weird. I have a large enough backpack.)

WHEE I AM GOING TO SCREW UP MY NETWORK LIKE A CS GRAD STUDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next time my modem is a dick, uit won't be because it may have developed sentience and an asshole personality; it'll be because I hacked the firmware and fucked it up personally.

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Quick DW style help
children of dune - leto 1
I'm having a weird issue. In my DW comments, unexpanded comments are jumping in font size and I can't tell what the heck happened.

screenshot below cutCollapse )

I checked my stylesheet and DW functions but can't work out why it jumps in size.

Or for that matter, why it has 'no subject' there and for that matter in regular font.

I will happily owe a favor to anyone who can help me work out where it all went wrong.

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it is friday and I scorn productivity
children of dune - leto 1
I had this brilliant idea that this weekend that I'd buckle down and do laundry. The piles are endless and I'm running out of underwear. That really isn't going to happen, I can tell you that right now.

Why did I think this foolishly optimistic plan would work?

1.) Last weekend, I cleaned the kitchen. Not up to clean people (or even probably relatively normal "clean" people) standards but there are no dirty dishes anywhere, the counters are wiped down, and the stove is presentable. I have kept it clean a week, which is a fucking miracle, not gonna lie. I thought that meant something. It didn't.

2.) I bought a Laundry thingie that rolls. This did sort of do some helping with sorting and hanging and is super fun to play with and roll around meaningfully but. Not in itself enough to get me off my ass and approach scaling Mount JennjeansAndShirts.

3.) The running out of underwear thing.

This generally works gangbusters. Like, left to the choice between washing my clothes and wearing my old bridesmaid's dress to work--it fits really well and floor length is my favorite and I do have shoes for it. My walk is only 7/10ths of a kilometer.

Interesting Fact Digression:

Due to Pokemon GO, I not only internalized kilometers as a unit of measurement but generally now measure the distance to anywhere by number of eggs and their color. My mom's house is 7/10ths purple, one special, a yellow and a green, or three and a half green; work is roughly one third green).

Returning to subject:

But underwear? That's my line.

Now that Amazon has free one day shipping for my favorite five pack, however, we are at an impasse: I am now adding more laundry to the not-washed (eventually) with even less motivation to actually ever wash anything ever again. Worse, it's cheap enough and useful enough that it doesn't trip my 'wasted money' switch (when are underwear ever not useful? NEVER). This? This is a problem and while underwear are small, so is the square footage of my apartment.

I'm glad you attended my TED talk on ADHD fueled existential horror.

Also! For your Monday-Tuesday Prime Day Shopping needs:

Slickdeals Prime List

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stranger things s3
children of dune - leto 1
Very not even a spoiler, just an observation.

this townCollapse )

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this is some kind of judgment
children of dune - leto 1
So I don't know how many of you were around and remember when [profile] synedochic introduced us to Boomshine, aka Our Own Personal Flash Game Hell. Circa 2007-2008 or so, you may have some missing time you never were able to explain? I understand that's a normal reaction to trauma, so yeah, you were playing Boomshine. Now you know. I hope this gives you closure.

Circa 2015, the game appeared in Google Play, and I conveniently remembered absolutely nothing as for some insane reason, I thought I really liked it. So I bought it.

That was a mistake.

Since that long ago day, it has haunted my phone like a poltergeist made of tiny colored balls of surrealist physics in action. I finally delete and forget it; then--months later--I come back and am like "Oh I like that game!"

I don't like this game. This game is the devil. Level 12 is a colored ball purgatory that mocks you. The balls move slower when they see an explosion coming toward them, I have eyes and I know. I've been trying to write this entry for like three days but when I think of Boomshine, I start playing Boomshine and something is wrong with this.

The Room I, II, III, and Old Sins didn't make me this crazy, even the multiple tragic endings, even the Cthulhu ending of tentacles because I missed something in that room, even the ending on the crazy dollhouse train (I think?) taking me to the Elder Gods (maybe?), which was apparently the best potential ending (?). Like, sure, they screwed with me, but they didn't do it with something a step up from Pong and make me feel inadequate because I CAN'T CLEAR MOST OF THE BALLS. The balls mock me; kinda-Cthulhu ending just taught me the value of searching a room eighty times, not seventy-nine.

Boomshine. You're welcome.

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urgh i feel unclean
children of dune - leto 1
Was forced to immediately login to Facebook outside my twice-yearly check of my privacy settings due to unexpectedly getting an email at my primary (but not Facebook-primary) address that I thought I"d removed. After hunting, discovered it as a backup and removed it with vicious satisfaction.

Yeah, I was that worried about Facebook sending something to that email.

I was never really a user, I just set it up because family was on there and social media why not; this was at the same time I set up my twitter account, according to dates. In the normal course of events, I would have started using it from sheer 'it's there' except the normal course of events didn't occur; before I even had a chance to let inertia and existing friends on there do their thing, Facebook had its first privacy problem and I noped out for a while.

Now again, memory is short, my primary email was still Facebook's primary email, so again, it's social media and there; given a year or two, I should have started using it and I sort of took vague steps--and then a bigger privacy breach. At which time, I set it to a throwaway yahoo email with no function but to handle facebook, and promptly forgot it existed (except when I went to clean it out, which is when I would also double check my privacy settings). At which time memory being short was used for good.

Logging in used to be an event; I used to open a new, clean browser to do it, carefully type in my username and password, close the tab when done, scrub the browser, close it, then restart my computer (with malice aforethought). Now, I just use Chrome Incognito. I've gotten soft, you see.

The thing is, I give the 'because privacy' reason and don't get me wrong, it's true, but. I also of my own free will own five Alexa devices, have multiple gmails and a Google Home Mini (Free gift with Nest purchase), belong to many social media outlets, and even have finally gotten LinkedIn under my wallet name (through work, I get access to classes there). I am compromising my privacy dramatically and voluntarily in every other way, but not and never with them.

Yes, Google and Yahoo and Twitter and Amazon are not at all less guilty when it comes to breaches. I am not significantly increasing my privacy by banning Facebook from my life in all forms (including many settings in AdBlock and deactivating and hiding it on my phone).

It is privacy, though; specifically, the day I sat down and went through every screen and sub-screen in settings because at the time (I have no idea now), to get the equivalent of a full friendslock required it. What I could do on literally any other site in one or two (adjoining) screens at most required a full and endless search of everything there to make sure I got it all. Somewhere I have notes about it, because when a friend--who's a goddamn programmer--couldn't work out the settings, I gave him my notes and my login to Facebook (a very very close friend, yes) so he could match mine to get a basic friendslock. I was on AIM with him the entire time so he could double check.

Facebook didn't just make it hard to even work out how to get your desired privacy; they used that difficulty as a get out of jail free when they breached it. It was just Privacy Theatre--look how thorough we are, how careful--while simultaneously making it hard to find the settings, much less work out exactly what they applied to, and then failed to actually respect those settings anyway.

So it's mostly a matter of spite, tbh. Google and Amazon and Yahoo et al will screw me--are probably doing it right now--but at no point did any of them make me enter the Privacy Labyrinth of Plausible Deniability first.

(That they apparently run random ass social and psychological experiments on their userbase just confirms me in my feels of nope. Just the five seconds of being on the homepage made me feel like I was being hunted by Mengele's psychology soulmate.)

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lucifer season four
children of dune - leto 1
Finished Lucifer Season Four and just--no words.

seriously, this show why does it workCollapse )

That has been my feelings. There were so many. Season five now, plz.

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scheherazade the phone
Oh, I forgot; I've had a major relationship change in my life this month.

Due to circumstances beyond my control (because my sister took my soldering kit due to an unfortunate fire-related incident with a motherboard and a kitchen table and fire alarms), I had to get a new cell phone. My phone began to experience charging issues in Octoberish, but in May it stopped charging altogether except wirelessly, and as it was a Galaxy S6 Edge+, you can imagine how long that took.

I'd like to ask for a moment of contemplation of technology for Dean, the phone that saw me through many troubled moments and so fucking much Pokemon Go.

Okay, done.

My new life companion is Scheherazade, a Galaxy S10+ in blue.

Also, I have discovered some neat things after two weeks about this phone.

1.) My new phone does not get uncomfortably hot to the touch while using and emit a faint metal smell like a freshly cut jugular.
2.) When the battery indicator says its 100%, it actually is and five minutes later doesn't randomly show 5% and turn off. Then when turned on says it's at 40% and making me doubt my understanding of how numbers work.
3.) It can be charged while still on, instead of having to turn it off first and praying over it. Nothing fancy, just some Revelations-based entreaties for mercy.
4.) As it turns out, I didn't dream that you can reliably charge with USB and not just wirelessly and hopelessly while drinking four dollar bottles of Sangria from the nearby convenience store.
5.) Chrome doesn't open and close at random like ghosts are reading and judging my porn Washington Post articles about rainforests and...whales being saved from something probably terrible.
6.) Apps open when you touch them, not in their own (justified, I'm sure) good time when they feel like it and you understand and don't complain because otherwise, they might get angry and living in constant fear for your life (sanity, too, sure) just isn't all it's cracked up to be.
7.) I can turn it on and off with the appropriate button, not using Button Savior for touch controls. You really don't appreciate an on/off button that works until it never, ever, ever does again no matter how much you beg and how many offerings you make to [redacted]. I can still hear their screaming when I don't wear noise-canceling headphones.
8.) The home key doesn't exist anymore and therefore I am never unduly startled with Google randomly opening and closing eight or fifty times in a row. During Pokemon Go. While trying to catch fucking Larios.

So--I'm thinking I was probably about two weeks from being literally set on fire due to my phone exploding while I was hunting Pokemon or--not outside the realm of possibility--accidentally selling my soul to a god I can't pronounce because vowels are for the weak so I could finish my goddamn week challenge and get a Sinnoh Stone to do some recreational poke evolving.

Scheherazade is awesome and Dean may have been trying to kill me. There's a lesson here, but the most important thing is--I GOT MY SINNOH STONE!!!!

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update on my life (boring)
children of dune - leto 1
So it is June, aka It's Already Fucking Ninety Are You Serious?

After two weeks out sick, I finally went in for my CT scan, and the test results--written in medicalese--seem to suggest that yes, I have some kind of stuffed nose (the word 'mucus' was involved), many words which seem to suggest that indeed the septum is a righty ('septum' and 'right' appeared in adjoining sentences though a lot of words were between them) and nothing is remarkable. I assume a mucus goblin would be remarkable enough to mention, so there goes that theory.

Next: go back to the ENT so he can recommend something. Honestly, unless my life is at stake here, I do not want surgery and the medicalese seemed not to indicate it (degrees of right septumness?) but I'll know more at that appointment.

...good God I lead a boring life. That was literally all my drama for like, a month.

However, I got back in touch with an ex-coworker recently, whose age falls exactly between me and Child, which is significant here. And I realized abruptly while talking to him that Child was still a teenager when we worked together and now years later he is very much not and goes to the same clubs (it's not like there are that many).

ex-coworker historyCollapse )

Cue me being open and honest:

Me: Please don't pick up my son by accident that will be weird
Him: Wait, he's [no longer a teenager but with more words]!?!?!
Me: Oh God yes it's been [years] since you quit.
Him: Oh, that might be weird. But I'd be nice--
Me: I'll also make fun of you both for goddamn ever.
Him: ...[understood but with more words]

Secret: it's super goddamn hard to embarrass Child. I mean, he can be embarrassed but not by like, normal things or things that don't require more effort than I generally really care to expend. In other words, an empty threat...when it comes to him.

Ex Co-worker, however, is a normal human being, knows I am capable of acts of embarrassment that I'll invent, and therefore I win.

(But God that would be hilarious and I'd have material for like, years.)

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lucifer: finished season three
children of dune - leto 1
Finished Lucifer season 3, and I have a theory.

Somewhere (a closet?), they keep a genius yet utterly insane writer, like some kind of screenwriting gimp. Every so often, he gets out and alters completed scripts, probably in the morning (when everyone else is hungover?), or substitutes his crazy-what-genius scripts. Because there's no other explanation for a show this fucking campy to manage to have mind-blowing arcs that I didn't even realize were really arcs going somewhere because again, this show is adorilarious campy awesome.

Yes, I am talking about Charlotte.

talk about a dark horseCollapse )

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AstoMark Testing | Signal Boost: SignalBoost bookmarklet update! Now boosts HTML
children of dune - leto 1

[personal profile] astolat posted: SignalBoost bookmarklet update! Now boosts HTML

I've now updated the bookmarklet so that it preserves the HTML encoding in the selected text, so for instance if you select a chunk of text that includes an image or links to an AO3 story or to another DW post, the links will be preserved. It does NOT work on embedded video, sorry. :(

AstoMarklet V.1.2
- added autofill of tags; used "reblog"

This version style includes:
- border:1px solid
- padding:10px
- box-shadow: 5px 10px

- Fixed subject with "AstoMark Testing" prefix so as not to confuse people.

I have been away from CSS too long for it has become more awesome. There is box shadowing. I have seen it before on pages but knew not how the magic happened. Truly we live in an age of wonders.

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Signal Boost: SignalBoost bookmarklet update! Now boosts HTML
children of dune - leto 1

[personal profile] astolat posted: SignalBoost bookmarklet update! Now boosts HTML

I've now updated the bookmarklet so that it preserves the HTML encoding in the selected text, so for instance if you select a chunk of text that includes an image or links to an AO3 story or to another DW post, the links will be preserved. It does NOT work on embedded video, sorry. :(

AstoMarklet V.1.1
- added new div for style control of entire reblog text (p and blockquote)
- open window in new tab

This version style includes:
- border:.1em solid #1a6f00
- padding:1em

That border just will not get thinner.

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Signal Boost: SignalBoost bookmarklet update! Now boosts HTML
children of dune - leto 1

[personal profile] astolat posted: SignalBoost bookmarklet update! Now boosts HTML

I've now updated the bookmarklet so that it preserves the HTML encoding in the selected text, so for instance if you select a chunk of text that includes an image or links to an AO3 story or to another DW post, the links will be preserved. It does NOT work on embedded video, sorry. :(

Uh, don't mind me, I'm playing with the reblogger bookmarklet because this is--seriously--how I have fun. Look, I've been sick so it's this or redesigning my network (again). Also, I never bothered to learn DOM so something new!

AstoMarklet V.1.1
- added new div for style control of entire reblog text (p and blockquote)
-- div style: background:#ecf7ec
-- div style: padding:1em
- open window in new tab

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i am not living my best week
children of dune - leto 1
Sunday I started getting sick, so sensibly, I took off Monday and went to work Tuesday feeling better. Tuesday night, I had what was unmistakably the beginning of my first panic attack in almost two years and so took off Wednesday and Thursday.

My first reaction was utter 'this is bullshit' before stomping into the kitchen and shoving my hand into the bin of ice from the automatic ice maker and left it there until my attention fixed on sheer 'ouch'. That worked, which was nice. Then I took less than a quarter xanax to follow up, which cleared the rest out and left the comforting patina of sheer rage this shit happened again.

(Yes I am a lightweight; half a xanax kncks me out and a quarter makes me spacey. So I broke it into quarters then carefully into a powdery eighth. Unless I"m having dental surgery, I hate spacey.)

whateverCollapse )

This has been some venting of bullshit.

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it's saturday and no, I have no intention of doing anything remotely productive
children of dune - leto 1
When I first found Ask a Manager, I sent it to my manager and Sysadmin V because they're--well, managers. Their response: "So it's Dear Abby for work?"

Which is true, sure, but that's not why I read it. Most of my working life has been in public service, like my mother and grandfather before me, so some parts, like salary negotiation, are utterly alien to me, as it really doesn't happen outside very specific and very rule-oriented circumstances and usually that means executives (aka the governor's appointees of course). Salary, for the most part, is intensely transparent for us--as in, not only do we have strict payscales, all state employees and their salaries are published yearly in the newspaper because public and reasons. So there's a lot of 'so that's how that works in the private world' going on.

But mostly, I read it for the same reason everyone reads advice columns: the drama. If you haven't ever read AMA, a sampling. You're welcome.

In no particular order (links to updates when applicable):

Original Post: The One With the Car Accident and Birdphobia
- Update 1
- Update 2

Original Post: The One With the Guy Who Ghosted His Live In Girlfriend and Now She's His Boss
- Update

Note: satisfying.

Original Post: The One With the Poorly-Conceived Prank and Consequences
- Update

Original Post: The One With the Poorly Conceived Surprise Foot Tickling and Consequences
- Update

NoteCollapse )

Original Post: The One With the Manager Who Thinks Beer Runs During Work Are Super Millennial and That's the Least Questionable Behavior As It Turns Out
- Comments: It Gets Worse
- Update 1
- Update 2

Original Post: The One With the Duck Club Except There Are No Ducks and I Pity the Copier
- Update

Original Post: The One With Master Pete and a Poorly Conceived Comparison to Gay Rights (No, Really)
- Update

It must be said, all of these have epic comment sections. And yes, this is an easy way for me to finally bookmark these. Feel free to tell me your faves!

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i feel like i should be sending flowers somewhere?
children of dune - leto 1
Off the top of my head, I've never seen this large a proportion of people in any of my social media accounts in deeply enraged mourning in multiple fandoms simultaneously, and this is happening in literally all my social media accounts.

I don't just mean three separate fandoms at the same time engaging in grief-and-rage-posting; that would be unusual enough, but no. The Magicians, Game of Thrones, and Avengers are like a Venn nightmare of overlap and in the surprisingly substantial center are a large number of people who are maybe (definitely) having the worst thirty days of their fandom lives and possibly (definitely) becoming increasingly terrified of turning on the TV like, ever again. Like, I'm only majorly affected by one of those but just watching the other two happen is enough; I'm starting not to trust shows not even airing anymore. Like, sure, it's been decades since TNG aired, but what if someone went in and killed Picard in the first TNG ep to add shock value or some shit?

(...could someone check on that, please?)

Sometimes, I wonder if writers think 'audience' is synonymous with 'enemy'.

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Signal Boost: Let me tell you about my Problematic Favorite.
children of dune - leto 1

[personal profile] thornsilver posted: Let me tell you about my Problematic Favorite. Anna Bishop's books (and that is true for all of her novels and short stories that I have read) have certain common themes. They are extremely rapey. Often that is true both about male and female characters. There is also a lot of lovingly described sadism. All the villains are sadists and rapists. And child molesters. (And "Black Jewels" trilogy has a real creepy thing that comes close enough to pedophilia to be a kissing cousin. Which gets circumvented by the skin of the teeth and a time jump.) And her male/female relationships dynamics are... I was going to use "problematic", but I already used this word. In any case, it is usually shown as predatory and exploitative with the few exceptions of Heroes and Heroines, which are of course completely trustworthy. Despite living in a society that supports and showcases predator and exploitative.

As far as "Black Jewels" go, it has all of this in spades. I hate the arcs of some of the characters. I have a lot of refrigerator questions about her worldbuilding. And yet, for inexplicable reasons, I still love and re-read these.

This is all true, absolutely true, yes. I, too, love this series, re-read it entirely once a year, and completely ignore certain 'wtf' because whatever.

However, this post spoke to me today because I'm on my period. It fulfills another function aside from my need for casual violence (...reading, I suppose should be at least said here); alone in fiction, we have (many) really soothing passages of women who are on their periods being told they should take off work, go to bed and nap/read/be read to and are brought blankets and meals and snacks (and between snack snacks) while men compete to make the best remedy for menstrual cramps and give massages.

I do not deny problematic, weird, and sometimes flat out "...what the everloving fuck" but five days a month, I forgive everything for knowing there is fiction that spent quality page time making a few races worth of fictional women who also happen to menstruate super fucking comfortable while their uterii threaten to crawl out of their body and kill them (but don't actually kill them because they're not that merciful).

(Also, almost no menstrual jokes I can remember. Do you know why? Anyone who made them would be vaporize by their Jewels like right then. Survival of the fittest works.)

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i am watching lucifer again
children of dune - leto 1
Second try on Lucifer Season 2 as it did the literal impossible first time around; it hit my blasphemy button.

This is weird as a.) I don't have one of those and b.) seriously, I don't believe in blasphemy any more than I believe apostasy or sacrilege (yeah I'm that type of Christian). And yet, I was very unfine with Lucifer's mother sentenced to earth as a suburban wife in six inch heels. Like, why that would create a new 'wtf no' in my brain I can't tell you but there we were. If you are going to posit God had a wife in fiction, you do not sentence her to the suburbs in stilettos and mini-skirts; that is a bridge too far.

(I don't even pretend to understand it, it just happened. Though can't deny, part of it was disappointment; I was hoping for plagues and murder and laying waste, so yeah that was a factor.)

However, I persevered and at least a third of it is the fact that Chloe lives in a constant state of almost bedhead and I appreciate that so much as that is unique on TV. She perpetually looks like she showered, ponytailed or blind-braided that shit in a state of 'whatever, more coffee', and walked out the door, and honestly I love her for that. I feel her. Like me, she said 'I could save thirty seconds more and care even less' and reached for a scrunchie on her way out the door; how can you not love it?

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joker (joaquin phoenix)
children of dune - leto 1
Okay, so the trailer for the Joker movie (Joaquin Phoenix) is totally not what I expected.


the worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't

This can't be as good as it feels like it might be.

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detective pikachu
children of dune - leto 1
I was totally born in the wrong universe. For the record: that was goddamn adorilarious.

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recipes: london broil
children of dune - leto 1
This is partially being posted here so I remember to add it manually to pepperplate.

Today's recipe: London Broil wtih Arugula salad

My attempts at steak have been...better left to Child, but to my surprise, this one turned actually worked. Original recipe and variation below. Actual result to prove I managed this.

Beef broiled almost-medium rare with arugula sprinkled with asiago

okay, that wasn't badCollapse )

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budgeting, shopping, meat, and rice
children of dune - leto 1
Rookie mistake: shopping for food online when you're not hungry and feel like you never need to eat again because you glutted yourself on tamarind candy from Mexico that your coworker introduced you to never realizing where this could lead.

There are two things that deeply annoy me here:

1.) How did I not know tamarind a.) existed (I thought it was some kind of fantasy food?) and b.) was so fucking good? Like yes, I get I'm eating the compressed sugar-and-spicy version but holy shit.

2.) My shopping list was, to my experienced eye, remarkably functional with little to no indulgence (nope, one thing: English muffins). In fact, I am well under budget.

This may sound like a good thing but generally, no, it's not. My budget plan has built-ins for indulgence, and in general, I go over by at least 10%-15% each month, which is expected. Then why not raise the budget, you wonder? No, then I'd go ten to fifteen percent over that. Logic.

Anyway going under that hard this early in the month when I'm stocking up on staples as well? Not a good sign.

Sure, now I'm on a tamarind candy high and care not, but there's a reason I have that ten to fifteen percent buffer to buy snacks and candy and boomerang pies at reasonable prices. The reason is, if I don't, if I'm careful and methodical and stick to the healthy ingredient list and act responsible and shit, there will be many trips to the convenience store next door for overpriced Bear Claws, Reese's Pieces stuffed chocolate everything, and while I'm there, might as well grab an Orange Vanilla Coke or two.

This is going to be a really fun month.

Food Weirdness

When I moved to my apartment, I made a resolution to eat healthy. This quickly morphed into 'eat healthy and organic (when affordable)' but at some point turned into becoming super into ethically conscious meat and dairy consumption.

yeah, it's a good thing, butCollapse )

Semi-relate, I've also come to realize there's been a shift in the Force on how I view rice.

rice: it is a food and not just white stuff under the actual foodCollapse )

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you and your network - the art and science of expansion
children of dune - leto 1
Today we shall speak of networks again--because I'm awake and here--but first, a rant.

So I've mentioned DD-WRT, which is open-source firmware you can use to flash your router and use as the router OS. It's honestly awesome, except I just discovered something.

if you're not into DD-WRT, this section may safely be substituted for ambienCollapse )

Now back to you and your network!

Previous: you and your network - router and device limits.

quick note on my recent network upgrade: if you're not into networks, this section will be an excellent alternative to valiumCollapse )

now: expanding your networkCollapse )

common questions you may haveCollapse )

a prequel to the router upgradeCollapse )

one last common questionCollapse )

So other than reliving my router buying trauma, that was fun. Go forth and expand your network!

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this is so goddamn charming
children of dune - leto 1
Someone is trying to crack my home server through the forwarded ssh port and the logs are goddamn epic. Apparently they've been doing it for many hours and sadly failing like a lot. My dude, I use an extremely memorable and super long passphrase and throw in a special character and number for kicks; there is not enough time left in the universe before entropy overtakes us for you to pull this shit off. But you know, you do you.

I mean, yeah, super bad, access to my LAN and everything, but also, really? This is what you want to crack? You're wasting a truly amazing amount of time to get into an ubuntu machine that exists only because around a decade ago, I wanted to learn command line and ssh and learned to really like it. It's secondary purpose is to rip blurays and host a media server, but mostly, it's me bored on a weekend and spending my free time learning scripting languages, fucking around with installing mulitple distros to see which I like best and always coming back to kubuntu, and crashing it during some very unfortunate experiments that lead to accidentally deleting half the OS.

...greater than five times, but how I did it was different every time.

It is with great reluctance I have deleted the forwarded ports off my router, however; they're literally hitting it every ten seconds and I'm tired of getting logs mailed to me. I'd like to have a moment of silence because this shit is hilarious.

ETA: As I was finishing this after closing the port, they finally stopped.

Further Note: This is totally a legit reason to login as root, right? Just to look around?

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Signal Boost: Nifty Neti: Why & How I Rinse My Nose
children of dune - leto 1

[personal profile] jesse_the_k posted: Nifty Neti: Why & How I Rinse My Nose

For anyone who has heard about neti pots or thought about using one: really good breakdown, read it. I also actively recommend it; it is not woo nor is it an instantaneous fix. You may notice immediate benefit in feeling clearer for a short time, but don't worry if that seems transient the first few times; this is accumulative. It becomes really noticeable in your daily life after about three to five days of use and you're noticeably less congested. I was still on the fence about it being more than a nice few hour solution until around the fourth or fifth day when overall improvement was obvious in my daily life.

(You may also notice this: your gums and teeth are less sensitive/swollen/sore/weird, the roof of your mouth is less randomly sensitive/less sore, your mouth may taste less crappy in the morning, and your overall sense of taste may change somewhat for the better.)

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the magicians - welcome to the twitter tire fire
children of dune - leto 1
Syfywire just pulled the article they put up a few hours ago, "Queerness and Death in the Magicians" and deleted the tweet that announced it. That's super not at all questionable and really normal.

Here is a tweet with screenshots of the article: Queerness and Death in the Magicians. It also looks like a PDF is up at the discord: https://twitter.com/coldwaughtersq/status/1121193198523756544

Note: this will definitely help settle the drama, by the way. That'll work.

ETA (7:30 PM CST): so that thread was deleted and so was my RT of it. Here's another one: https://twitter.com/thelaynierizer/status/1121206952028192768

ETA (7:59 PM CST): Full article now available on tumblr: https://three--rings.tumblr.com/post/184422544953/queerness-and-death-in-the-magicians

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Signal Boost: The Magicians S4 Finale Aired Five Days Ago And I'm Still Mad As Hell
children of dune - leto 1
[personal profile] cleolinda posted: The Magicians S4 Finale Aired Five Days Ago And I'm Still Mad As Hell

There is still so much I want to say about all of it, but my thoughts won't organize themselves sufficiently. Read [personal profile] cleolinda; lots of commentary and links.

I do, however, want to comment eventually on the less-loaded topic of bad storytelling, which was also a factor here.

But there's also this: any hack on earth can write tragedy. Devastating your audience is the easiest thing in the world.

You know what's hard? Blowing their minds with sheer joy. Shock them by giving them what they didn't even know they could want. I think I can count the times on one hand where a show managed that. To get it, you have to work for it.

I don't get--I'll never get--why anyone on earth would do the second--would manage the fucking impossible--but in the end, only care about, only take pride in, only value doing the first.

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Signal Boost: Magicians 4x13 spoilers ongoing, natch
children of dune - leto 1
[personal profile] greywash posted: Magicians 4x13 spoilers ongoing, natch

I am one of those who is debating doing a de-rec of the show. Below cut, trigger warnings and spoilers for those who are still unspoiled.
triggersCollapse )
I know this sounds dramatic, I know it's not rational, but I'm not rational right now, and it's bothering me enough to put it here.

I recced this show for a lot of reasons, but one of them was for how it handled mental illness and how much work they put into doing it well, showing both short- and long-term consequences and ongoing issues. To anyone who watched because of those recs, I'm so sorry.

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so many drugs
children of dune - leto 1
So I was supposd to start those antibiotics like, three weeks ago. Now, legit, I had to wait for the first of April to pick them up as money+time was a problem.

...it is now the fifteenth.
yeah, idkCollapse )

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okay but
children of dune - leto 1
...in my defense, it's not so much that a lot's happened is that I am both super lazy and things happened.

In some kind of order:

1.) Saw the ENT and have another appointment after a six weeks of antibiotics and steroids because nasal infections that last this long need the shock and awe treatment.

2.) Saw Captain Marvel and realized there was indeed a hole in my life before it appeared. Seriously, I had no idea there was so much Carol AND MARIA WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS.

3.) Learned to use a neti pot.

Okay, much like evangelists for Diva cups (divangelists?) and The Magicians (magelists?), I think everyone should Neti pot now because this shit isn't woo which was surprising. Interestingly, the most dramatic results were the second or third time and then after several days of use where I could feel the difference. So if you were on the fence, a.) head position will work out eventualy just keep tilting randomly until it works out and b.) try it. Not woo.

4.) Still not interested in Game of Thrones and still wish I could flog up the interest. This annoys me.

5.) My home network has undergone a change for teh better which I will go over at some point, including successful creation of a wireless bridge client that is basically a wifi repeater that took me only three separate tutorials to figure out how to get running using DD-WRT.

random on ddwrtCollapse )

This has been a message from Seperis' Network Feelings.

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there's something about procedurals
children of dune - leto 1
I was watching Law and Order: SVU (it's weirdly soothing) and abruptly realized I am the kind of weird-ass person Munch would inexplicably know.

Fin: Now why are we seeing her again?
Munch: There's a good chance she knows where are perp hangs out online these days; they run in the same circles. He might have changed his name, but he hasn't changed his pattern; she'll know him.
Fin: How do you know her anyway?
Fin: Usenet. Ran across this Trek group a couple of decades ago when I was moderating a couple of conspiracy boards; got to know her when a fight broke out in the group. Just so you know, we may need to make a quick exit; it got pretty heated.
Fin: ...you think she's still mad about a fight you had on the internet twenty years ago? Seriously?
Munch *tersely*: It was a ship war involving James T. Kirk. We were on different sides. *sees Fin's baffled expression and shakes his head* Nevermind. You wouldn't understand.

(disclaimer: was never in a ship war on usenet involving the shipping of James T. Kirk. It was an entirely different flame war. Or maybe two. Three at most and I only observed. Mostly.)

...yes, I kind of do ship Fin and Munch, what of it?

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for those playing pokemon go
children of dune - leto 1
IF you haven't already, friend me on Pokemon Go! PRESENTS!

(I actually also need three people to finish this goddamn mission.)

Code: 7682 9107 1853

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maltese dreams and aspirations
children of dune - leto 1
So growing up rural means you generally need to have at least one dog; that's just making sure rattlesnakes avoid you, water moccasins avoid you, feral dogs and cats avoid you, and a decent burglar alarm. Specifically, a dog that could survive: a middle-large to large dog.
background info: life and rural dogsCollapse )
My mother, all this time unbeknownst to me, has always wanted a small dog: a teacup poodle or--much much more--a Maltese. When we lived in the country, it wasn't practical; when we moved and kids still lived with her (multiple kids), it wasn't a good idea; now, however, she only lives with one child over the age of ten and my youngest sister. She is ready for her Maltese lap dreams to come true.

(The first time she showed interest a few years ago, things interfered, so this is technically Try Two At Maltese Dreams)

Mild digression: despite the fact she is not actually a cat person, Mom has four cats.

You're asking how. Fine.
yeah, this is how it happenedCollapse )
My mission: to get my mom a tiny dog. An impractical dog. An overbred dog, even. A dog that sits on laps like animate fur and barks at a painfully high pitch and you can brush and groom and literally could fit in a purse. An adult, not puppy. I'll take a maltipoo or yorkipoo or maltiyork (not sure of name????) or shi-maltz or basically any single breed or crossbreed from a reputable breeder OR that shows up in a rescue or shelter and has been evaluated for temperament et al that involves a Maltese and/or Yorkie; it must be tiny and useless as other that adorableness. Pretty easy, you'd think.

I want to do this without having to take out a loan: not easy.

Here is what I learned about shelters: they almost never have tiny dogs except chihuahuas and vaguely impossible/unholy/wtf chihuahua crossbreeds, because rescues get them before they go public.

(Note: It's not that chihuahuas aren't awesome, I've been around them/played with them my entire life, but if you've met one, you understand that's a dog you have to want specifically for what it is, be ready for, and commit to. It's made of nothing but energy and barking, and unless you can be damn sure of the temperament, not one to be around anyone under ten at best as they get cranky. Like, yeah, there are exceptions--I've seen some zen Chihuahuas--but you really can't count on that.

Exception: one of the random dogs that appeared in my life when I lived in the country was a dachshund-chihuahua mix and broke all the laws of both breeds by being what you might consider a particularly lazy sausage-shaped, chihuahua-headed sloth of good humor who preferred to be supine above all things. People who met it were utterly baffled by its existence, and I doubt I shall ever see it's like again.)

So far, I have learned this about rescues from Mom (and from contacting them or reading their literature): it takes less effort to get a goddamn passport (and possibly, security clearance at the Pentagon) than to secure a tiny dog.

One required an application, home visit/home assessment, family assessment, and then you could meet the dog (FOR THE FIRST TIME) under controlled conditions and perhaps at some point may actually get it no promises. One also had a background check. One had super strict rules about having other pets in the home across the board, not just relative to a dog's evaluation of temperament. All required some genuinely unsettling contracts you had to sign. Some had waiting lists that apparently can take decades. Fee ranged from $300-$600. This is only the stuff I remember, by the way, and that doesn't take into account how they make you feel really super judged when no, you're not really interested in the dog with some problems with children/other animals/existence and has a speckled history when it comes to using his teeth or bladder.

So reputable breeders and possibly taking out a loan for a pet-quality dog or retired show dog: oh God and I have no idea. See, that would require them answering inquiries about their dogs (as their sites have a tendency not to want to put up prices or even vague price ranges), which seems to be something of a problem since it can take a month after I ask about the ones I saw on the site for them to tell me all their dogs are gone like months ago (so why didn't you update your goddamn site already?) or the site says 'they could have dogs please inquire' but same problem as above.

Which means I'm on craigslist, even though it makes me nervous for various reasons including but not limited to:

1.) unless they're a reputable breeder, I could be hitting a goddamn puppy mill or backyard breeder and no. Fortunately, I am not in the market for puppies of any kind so not much of a worry.

2.) if it's a rehoming of an adult (and I assume 'one' isn't true), I have no idea about individual temperament or judge the probability using the dog's parents and generally you need more than a few minutes to judge how a dog reacts to cats, children, yards, et al. Yes, the seller said it's great with pets and kids, but don't they all? Who the hell says 'dog is hostile to the Achilles tendon and eats baby toes' or 'likes to pee in snoring mouths' or 'tried to kill me in my sleep with its tiny teeth, picture of scars available on request' and expects a response, much less anyone to pay $750 for their little psychopath?

3.) fee is $300 to $900 and are you fucking kidding me?? For your used, potentially demon-spawned luxuriously furred monster??????

It's so frustrating because yes, I get this isn't serious or a huge issue, but growing up, we were working class to poor most of the time. My mom didn't get to buy new clothes for years, she didn't get to have nice things or do nice things (she had to worry about paying bills and if the phone would get turned off and how much my dad would spend whether he was employed or not), she worked full time to make ends meet while clinically depressed, with anxiety, and subject to panic attacks sometimes on a daily basis (all this while on medication), and honestly, I don't think she actually liked living in the country and that doesn't include what little but very unpleasant knowledge I have of her childhood. Yes, now she's doing wonderfully financially, she can pay all her bills and even has a stock account, is in a better place and everything, but that kind of history lingers.

So by God, I want her to get her luxury dream dog. An impractical dog. A tiny dog whose only duties are to be goddamn adorable and sit in her lap and let her brush it's fur or whatever. And for less than two semesters at a community college, please.

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the magicians - god this show
children of dune - leto 1
The Magicians are giving me so many goddamn feelings I don't even know what to do with most of them. This is very much due to the fact that for the first time since I was in Queer As Folk (US) fandom, my pairing is going canon.

the magicians, queliot, mental illnessCollapse )

This has been your rambling not-even-meta.

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recipes: vienna coffee cake
children of dune - leto 1
For [personal profile] alexseanchai: a less sweet and more bread-like coffee cake but it's not called coffee cake. I've posted this before but I can't find it so whatever, it's a damn good recipe.

This is also from The Helen Corbitt Cookbook.

vienna coffee cakeCollapse )

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recipes: beef stroganoff
children of dune - leto 1
I'm sure there's a true canonical version, so we can assume this is not that. This is a variation of Helen Corbitt's Beef Stroganoff, and if you can find The Helen Corbitt Cookbook (I think that's the title), I recommend it highly for being bar none the best cupboard cookbook in history for recipes that for the most part you will have all the ingredients on hand and with easy instructions. The woman worked the Neiman Marcus Zodiac room and still wrote how to eat like a normal person. Two thirds of my base recipe list come from her and I have this book in hardback that I got from my grandmother because if the end of the world comes and I have no internet, I still want to eat well.

beef strognaoffCollapse )
cream sauce fixes anythingCollapse )

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recipe: coffee cake
children of dune - leto 1
This is one of my favorites. Nothing fancy, just really good and so full of sugar.

coffee cakeCollapse )

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fic rec: the high road (morgan/reid)
children of dune - leto 1
Watching Criminal Minds always leaves me vaguely in need of something to read, but until now, I hadn't actually thought to look. And lo and behold, an author I know and love.

The High Road by eliandralore, Morgan/Reid (archive-locked). Honestly, I kind of half-ship Morgan with everyone (provided they aren't married) but interesting note; when one binges Criminal Minds and realizes how many times Morgan calls Reid "Pretty boy", that really moves a ship up fast. Plus, I was in the mood for their chemistry so much.

(My other two are Morgan/Hotch and Morgan/Garcia. So you know, Morgan/the world.)

This one definitely hit the spot.

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The Magicians - so many spoilers (4.1 - 4.6)
children of dune - leto 1
What's getting to me now is I wrote up this post about 4.4 and Monster!Eliot's feels about Quentin and I feel 4.5 and 4.6 like it confirmed what I felt, especially in view of Monster!Eliot's discovery of tequila and oh boy.

In comments on my The Magicians; post, [personal profile] dar_vidder made a comment that when I was responding, because this is my life, became somewhat post-sized and also weird, so putting it here.

This is my original draft that I'm rethinking in view of 4.5 and 4.6 because there's one thing those later eps--to me--confirmed.

monster!eliot is my kinkCollapse )

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the magicians - up to current
children of dune - leto 1
Spoilers below cut re Margo and Josh.

i don't know yet, butCollapse )

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escapade - not writing panel
children of dune - leto 1
My con report just isn't happening as one big thing so instead there will be minireports as I get time and attention span to devote.

However, I really want to put in a word for everyone who came to my Everything and Anything But Writing panel; I thought it would literally be me, [personal profile] aerialiste, and a person or two deciding if my blackmail material was sufficiently motivating, but as it turns out, there weren't enough chairs in the (granted, small) room, and also, only one other competing panel so whee! And no, I didn't blackmail any of them, or at least, I don't think so.

Actually happened: I kind of lingered at the door thinking the last panel was still going because many people were in there looking engaged and ready for anything. Finally, enough people were looking at me in puzzlement holding my backpack and drink at the door for me to realize maybe I should...do something.

Not verbatim but close to it:
Me: ...are you here for the writing thing?
Them: Uh, yeah.
Me: You're kidding.

(Last line may be verbatim. Which I bet was super reassuring coming from their presumed moderator; thank you for staying, btw.)

My goal was (hopefully) a panel where people would talk openly about the problems they had around writing; for the most part, the 'writing' part when doing it was just fine. That definitely happened and was honesty amazing. I haven't had this much useful information come out of an hour even during most of my creative writing classes combined.

(My professor is to blame for every time you think "uh, seperis, that's very...purple'. People, he told me to do that like a lot. Who was I to deny a poet all the imagery ever?)

anything and everything but writingCollapse )

Anyway, everyone was great on that panel, it was incredibly informative and I hope others felt the same way because I definitely walked out with some new working tools to try and ways to work. Anyone who was at that panel, feel free to leave a comment (and your strategies if you want!) since you did some great work in that room.

ETA: [personal profile] greywash has some info on text to speech for Macs here, along with some other things.

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escapade realization - social well empty or full?
children of dune - leto 1
So being an introvert, I always nodded along with the 'limited well of social interaction ability' because yeah, but I didn't actually think I really had that problem. When I wanted to be alone, it was to write, which by nature isn't super social, but here's the thing.

I used to smoke. Now, I don't, and this being my first con since this very important change, I discovered something.

My social well was always regulated by smoking breaks.

Not consciously, but it does now kind of occur to me how often my need for a cigarette would coincide with some sort of group social interaction after some period of time. And sure, I had a wonderful rotating social group of smokers with me, which you'd think would be also users of my well (God that sounds creepy, but I don't have anything better so ride or die on terminology here), but no. Like, yes, smokers talk a lot but we also are doing something else--smoking--and there's literally nothing like awkward silence in the smoking group because i'ts not awkward, we're inhaling. I guess like knitting but we're also getting high(ish)? I don't know, but I realized it while vaping with [personal profile] norabombay, and yes, I've known her for fifteen years, we're like long-distance fannish semi-lifemates in that way that fangirls are, she takes nothing from my social well...when I'm vaping (and like a ton less at other times, or even none, obviously, but she was the one there with me at my epiphany).

Drinking obviously is excluded form the 'social well' thing--except then here I am with two major exceptions because as it turns out I do have a social well that can empty except when one of these two conditions are met. How did i realize this? How many times I was super enjoying this group discuss yet had to flee for reasons unclear but nicotine related except I just like hung out quietly outside looking at traffic in a sort of zen-way and maybe remembering to vape every few minutes? Or talking to nora, of course. Or writing because yeah, it happens and you gotta do it?

(Yesterday, I started a course of existential despair and unrelated cramping except those are related yeah, that's called PMS, which is yet another separate wtf because two thirds of my life this has been a monthly thing and yet, I did indeed spend way too much fucking time last night feeling a sense of hopeless despair while badly playing Atmos and getting no element higher than 38.)

So does smoking/vaping either act as no-take zone of my well or do they refill it faster than it would otherwise? Or both? Like, I'm one of those introverts who doesn't fear public speaking--actually, I love it--and audience size is a plus as far as I'm concerned. Yes, I do get that's an entirely different even if related social thing but still, that's one of my speed-chargers in the social well. The only thing that keeps me from generally volunteering for ALL THE PANELS (other than say, obvious reasos) is I"m also incredibly lazy, but this makes me think future cons, to offset my well problem, i probably should volunteer to moderate at every con I go to (I did three on Saturday and that definitely did the trick on social well things).

I feel like I should survey but I'm not sure how to frame the question. I just wonder if anyone else noticed something like that?

ETA: [personal profile] kara_mckay has some really good observations in comments here. I'm still trying to assemble a better response than "Dude....." with pointing for I am more articulate than that and also no one can see me pointing.

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when you have star trek problems
children of dune - leto 1
Escapade was no lie fucking amazing, and we'll totally get into that later, but right now, of all the things I've done both questionable and not (and only sometimes drunk), there is one I feel is the most worrisome, which is saying something, not that I'm referring to anything specific here though Christ, Orange Grove is fucking delicious.

This issue being, my propensity to do bathroom business in dark bathrooms.

Like, has anyone noticed this? I have no idea, but it is indeed a thing and I think I am successfully playing it off with an attitude of 'light is so overrated for purposes of relieving, come on' or more likely, no one noticed but paranoia is a thing, welcome to my brain.

A not entirely unexpected side effect of living it up in your low-budget Star Trek apartment: my bathroom has motion sensors and an Echo Dot for emergencies like well, that, and really trying to remember who played in a movie and Alexa wiki'ing for me from my toilet and/or shower when my phone is not available or I don't want to soak it in shower water.

So basically, bathroom lights--the turning off/on thing--is not something I think about like, at all. At work, they're always on of course, and basically at any given public bathroom sitch, the odds are multiple stalls equal always-on. The one-offs are also fine in teh given convenience store or restaurant, which is great. This issue has come up with my mom and visiting other people's houses and vacation this summer, but for reasons unclear, it did not occur to me how a hotel is not really a one-off and maybe I broke something important in the executive function zone in regard to lightswitches because I'm also kind of sitting in the dark at times trying to work out what to do when Alexa isn't there and I don't have an app for it.

Add any amount of alcohol and a sense of urgency, 'I don't care' kicks in (really, it's better that way considering the alternative) but once that last Orange Grove and the pink wine wear off, you are now able to count (on more than one hand) how many times you were in a closed dark bathroom with at least one to three people within visual range and hope they weren't paying attention or were super drunk. Does it actually matter or will anyone care? No (maybe?) but that's not the problem; the problem is I'm day four in this hotel and cannot fucking do lights.

I am not saying "Alexa, turn on the lights" but that literally is the limit of my adaptability. Strap in, folks, it gets weirder.

I cannot remember where any lightswitch is even having sought out and used it in my own goddamn room. More than once. If your next thought is "uh, by the door" well, yeah but when I'm in the goddamn room it's like I'm searching for Narnia. Did you know lamps have switches? That shit was a surprise to me, even though I do know how lamps work and indeed switches were present. Where are the lights in the room? By the doors, awesome. Lamps all have switches at the base. This is simple, we're good, right?

When I enter the room, I will promptly forget this very basic knowledge and sit down on the couch, baffled the lights aren't on, and then the search for switches begins like I was homeschooled like on goddamn Mars or something. I feel like maybe I invented an entirely new category of shame--and not like I was short on 'shame reasons' before--and while the 'inventing' part is kind of cool, can't lie, its offset by how utterly bizarre this is even in theory.

Wait for it: shit's about to just get sad.

I'm not used to not being able to control the amount of light around me, which is bad enough (I like a lot). Far worse--so much worse--I have to now adjust myself to some other (inferior) lighting situation when I literally designed my light set up to add many many many lights to my apartment specifically where I am going to sit, lounge, read, sleep, eat, I'm not kidding, and some have scripts to turn on and off at different kelvins to meet my super specific goddamn needs depending on time of day. I resent I must move where the lights are even though I'm more comfortable where I am, this is bullshit--like, 'entitlement' is almost too kind for this situation.

To give this a surreal touch it really didn't need, I feel existentially rejected by my hotel room when I enter and it's dark, because at home, the second I arrive, the lights come on in a bright "welcome home" and light my path, not unlike being a god (a really pathetic one but hey, you take what you can get).

Fuck yeah, this is funny, but I'm also kind of resentful and my brain keeps supplying "maybe next time bring Alexa with you" at which time--this has happened three times--I start listing out "and bring my smart lightbulbs because obviously adding smart switches would take too much time and also maybe the hotel wouldn't be down with that and also those are kinda expensive and a motion sensor for the bathroom, you can write a script for it easy, I have a few...." and that's how far this shit gets before reality kicks in, which is like at least all that sentence too late. And maybe the quoted bit before that, I'm actually not sure.

Oh, there's more, come on: I can't tell Alexa to change the temperature, turn on/off the air conditioner/heater; I don't even have an app for that because the hotel thermostats aren't smart--or hey, mine--and come to think, I don't even know where it is (see 'switches').

So like the bathroom thing is nothing (shame? Yes) compared to this image I want you to keep: me, sitting uncomfortably in the dark with an unwanted blanket due to inexplicable chill resenting the fuck that this room isn't catering to me before sullenly looking for lightswitches like some kind of crazy person. Over. And. Over. While feeling the room hates me and hell yes it's mutual now.

In closing: I now question the realism of every time people from Star Trek go into the past and aren't in a state of constant, low-key hostility and bafflement because I've only been doing this two years and now am unfit to live in the real world and also super sullen about it. And listening to goddamn Halsey while I sulk, because hi, you did subscribe to this journal of your own free will, and yeah, this is the kind of quality content you're here for.

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*inarticulate babbling*
children of dune - leto 1
[personal profile] aerialiste trapped in plane limbo somewhere circa Dallas-ish, I am alone in the hotel--ALONE ALL ALONE LIKE A PERSON WHO IS ALONE--and finally watched Magicians ep 5 and HOLY SHIT THAT HAPPENED.


...seriously, this wasn't like--a mass hallucination, right? This happened for realsies in canon and not like...happened?

Yeah, I had a hamburger, bad coffee, and no bottle opener which is super inconvenient and I don't even care because YES.

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