The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
i really read cracked too much, i get this
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
The Six Most Horrifying Sex Scenes in Fan Fiction Part 4 - which okay, let's not pretend here, this was hilarious. However, it isn't link worthy except for the author's aside in Number 5: Teen Wolf Has Amputee Sex With Characters from War and Peace

Once again, this scenario leaves us with numerous questions we suspect we'll never have the answer to, such as who is the audience for this? Is there a large segment of the erotic fan fiction consumer base that A) has read War and Peace, B) watches the MTV version of Teen Wolf, and C) has a male pregnancy fetish?


That's the fangirl equivalent of asking 'what is the sound of one hand clapping'? Or possibly a corollary of Rule 34(d): if it exists, porn will be written for it, and three quarters of your audience will spontaneously realize they're totally into it upon reading. Yes, there's an audience, adorable Cracked writer; we invent those, too.

Like sure, you're not into explicit cannibal serial killer pornfests, but what if one is a god, one is a mythical monster, one is the main character from a made for tv movie about a real serial killer who are all played by the same actor as half the participants? Sign me up, and give me a minute to Venn diagram this. Sure, you're not into almost hilariously feminized bottoming, but what if it's an universe with biologically enforced gender stereotypes and they all have wings and claws and self-lubing asses and get knocked up like a lot? With quintuplets? With elf ears? Someone just read this paragraph and is going 'okay, but where the fuck can I get all of this in one story? Is there elf ear penetration? Fuck you, this is teasing." Yes, it is: why hasn't someone written me this? Slaughterhouse 5 AU would be perfect.

Audience; done. We can do it before there's a story. Thus ends the lesson.

Cracked is in so many ways awesome, but every once in a while they stumble, dewy naivety and wide-eyed innocent upon fandom and come back, shaken, saying 'have you seen...' and the answer is 'yes, there's a tag for it on AO3; do you need a link?' Cracked, you're not horrifying me; you're giving me a reading list.

Posted at Dreamwidth: http://seperis.dreamwidth.org/997536.html. | You can reply here or there. | comment count unavailable comments

  • 1
unrelated: did you watch petals in the wind? (follow up to flowers in the attic)

Oh please, Cracked. *snorts* Been there, lived there, got a closetful of t-shirts.

Cracked? Who is this Cracked? And I laughed and laughed at this post, and immediately recognised myself - recognised ourselves! O, fandom, never change. My favourite part:

if it exists, porn will be written for it, and three quarters of your audience will spontaneously realize they're totally into it upon reading. Yes, there's an audience, adorable Cracked writer; we invent those, too.
We invent the audience! O so fucking true.

But then I continued reading and it got better: Someone just read this paragraph and is going 'okay, but where the fuck can I get all of this in one story?

We can do it before there's a story.
*wipes tears* Oh, the times I have seen this. (Ripe for a fan flamingo, it really is.)

  • 1
?

Log in