The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation



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This is, in fact, how it went.

Merlin left the room after all, because unfortunately, Arthur turned out to be completely unreasonable about his manservant hiding away until the end of time. He spent a lot of time avoiding Morgana, who tended to give him unbearably sympathetic looks, and Gwen, who tended to give him unbearably amused looks. He would have avoided Gaius, but, well, he lived with him. But he avoided basically everyone else because apparently the entire downstairs population of the castle wanted to be the one to heal his broken heart and body and teach him to love againm, and the entire upstairs population of the castle wanted to hear about Arthur's pillow talk and manly physique and bed skills. Merlin wasn't sure which was worse.

After a week, he was ready to kill them all.

While Merlin was skulking around avoiding people who wanted to soothe his poor ravished soul, Arthur spent an excessive amount of time attempting to forget that Gaius had ever asked him about Merlin's ass and ignoring the jokes and laughter of his knights and the cringing fear of the chambermaids that cleaned his rooms. He mostly accomplished this by hitting things--people, animals, targets, trees--with other things--swords, maces, his fists, crossbow bolts, and a horse (but that was only once). He avoiding his father, because Uther was apparently thrilled that his son had turned out to be a buggering sodomite, since it wouldn't muck up the succession and there was absolutely no chance that Merlin would ever be an effective pawn against the throne.

After a week, he was ready to kill them all.

Arthur opened the door to his chamber and threw his sword on the table. Merlin looked up from his seat on the hearth. "I'm ready to kill them all," he announced, and Merlin groaned and tipped over onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"Tell me about it," he said wearily. "Do you know how many times Bronwyn has tried to get me to 'tell her all about it, so the healing can begin'? Five times so far. Two of them today."

"Sir Archibald called you my mistress," Arthur countered, and sat down on the floor next to Merlin.

"Gaius left a bottle of oil by my bedside," Merlin said, "with a note. It said 'tell Arthur to be more gentle next time.'"

"My father asked me if he should try sleeping with his servants, if it worked so well for me," Arthur said, and Merlin stared at him, horrified.

"All right, you win," he said, and shuddered. "That's just...god. Wrong."

Arthur lay down and pillowed his head on Merlin's stomach. "So," he said gloomily. "What now."

"Well," Merlin said hesitantly. Arthur felt a hand touch his hair, stroke it. "I don't suppose..."

Arthur lifted his head, careful not to dislodge Merlin's hand, and stared. Merlin looked apologetic. Merlin met his eyes. "I mean, if they all think we're doing it anyway, well. We might as well, you know..."

Arthur thought about this for about five seconds. "All right, fine" he said abruptly, and turned over, hitching himself closer to Merlin and grinned down at him. Merlin looked a little stunned, and a little relieved, and a lot happy.

"After all," Arthur said, hands starting to run down Merlin's sides, and Merlin was pushing into them hopefully, eyes shining and bright, and his mouth was pink and wet and Arthur couldn't resist it anymore, "I suppose there's nothing left to lose now."

"That's the spirit," Merlin said dryly, and kissed him, and the whole miserable week was worth it because Merlin is underneath him, hot and wriggling and willing, rying to get his hand down Arthur's pants and breathing hard. It's sunny and bright and there's no wine anywhere, and Arthur kisses him again and again and feels drunk just the same.

The original snippet is lovely; all the proposed endings are utterly endearing.

Hee! I can only take credit for shamelessly hijacking seperis's idea and molesting it repeatedly, but thank you. :)

So. Adorable. *PURRS* Yes, this one. I love it. I do. I so do.

OMG UTHER INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT IS INAPPROPRIATE.

Heh. I love torturing Arthur. And Uther having cozy father-son chats about buggering his male manservents is so wonderfully WRONG. [giggles]

These are all outstanding. Every one! ♥

He avoiding his father, because Uther was apparently thrilled that his son had turned out to be a buggering sodomite, since it wouldn't muck up the succession and there was absolutely no chance that Merlin would ever be an effective pawn against the throne.
BEST. LINE. EVAR.

All these proposed endings are absolutely brilliant.

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