So granted, this is going to prove my unfitness for a parent, but just go with it.
Today, Child got beat up by a girl.
So here is the story as told to me, since I was left out of the mess as my mother picked him up and found out the story.
Apparently, Child was with some friends and a girl that hates him. Yeah no clue why. Anyway, there was blah blah blah and then the girl sniped at Child, and Child said (badly quoted):
"You are going to lose DPS points for missing materials for forgetting your brain."
And this, to me, is the most hilarious joke in the history of the world. DPS points are what you get for forgetting stuff or doing something wrong at school and I--feel so bad, yet I really love that joke.
So yes, after five minutes of laughing myself sick, then I found out that apparently, this enraged the girl past reason, so she climbed on a chair and kicked him in the chest (just below and to the right of the breast bone). It knocked the air out of him and his friends took him to the nurse, where the nurse reported it, because God knows Child can't bother himself to do anything like that and I probably wouldn't have found out otherwise until he was like, thirty or something). By the time my mother arrived to pick him up at the end of the day (this seems to have happened really near the end of the day), there were three student statements and a plan of action. They were efficient.
(I swear I checked to see if there was bruising. He's fine, but sulky.)
Anyway, for the joke he got lunch detention (which is fair) and the girl is suspended for two days. I hugged him and told him I loved him, then promised to record this here and the joke so he can use it again, since it's been proved effective, and I've done my duty.
(Actually, he wants to make sure celli and taraljc and svmadelyn and talitha78 know so they can coo at him or something.)
...this shouldn't be as funny as it is, but every time I calm down, Child sets me off again.
- maybe you had to be here to see the expression on his face